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This happens to me all too often... 
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Just yesterday a guy who should know better sent me an email with a large ZIP file attached. It claimed to be the individual installers for the 'suite' install I'm creating for him.
It wasn't.
The ZIP file contained four phone camera photos of the four individual application icons on some random Windows desktop, plus a Word document containing a screen capture of the primary application's installer's opening dialog.
I am going to be patient and calm when I explain to him what I actually need. I am allowing myself one and only one chortle, chuckle, or giggle. I will not take a sledgehammer to him as a service to the race.
Software Zen: delete this;
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Cut up <meat> and marinade in soy sauce, salt and corn flour for half an hour.
Deep fry it til it is crispy.
Fry ginger garlic in wok.
Add chopped onions, bell peppers chillies black pepper.
Put in crispy meat.
Add sugar vinegar soy sauce rice wine in varying quantities and call it:
1) Sweet and sour <meat>
2) General Po's chicken
3) Chilli <meat>
4) Sichuan <meat>
5) Mongolian beef
6) General Tso's spicy chicken
7) Stir fried beef and green peepper
etc
etc
etc
whatever the hell you want, its all the same damn thing anyway. 
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And why do they need all those generals to kill a few chickens?
I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats.
His last invention was an evil Lasagna. It didn't kill anyone, and it actually tasted pretty good.
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You sir, are patronising the wrong takeaways! 
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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OriginalGriff wrote: You sir, are patronising the wrong takeaways!
... And in the wrong country!
There's about as much genuine Chinese food in European countries as there is genuine Indian food.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Look where he's in residence - they'll eat pretty much anything that they can outrun.*
* Don't worry about those bits of yellow jacket in with your noodle - no extra charge.
| Ravings en masse^ |
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| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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The best french cookbooks only have one line:The Best French Cookbooks say: If it moves, eat it!
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Actually I am back in the UK. 
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A Gastronomical Wonderland if ever there was one!
How do you manage it? Some phenomenally bad Karma earned in a previous life, I expect.
| Ravings en masse^ |
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| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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UH? The UK is better than France!
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Munchies_Matt wrote: UH? The UK is better than France!
Perhaps that's true - some Indian food should be available.
But basically, your statement is very closely aligned with: Leprosy is better than Typhoid!
| Ravings en masse^ |
|---|
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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I had one of the best meals ever in Cornwall. it was a master piece of balance and subtlety
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A starving man may drool over a fly-covered road-kill.
But it's good that you enjoyed your meal . . . bon appetit.
| Ravings en masse^ |
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| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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Generally food is pretty simple here though, fish pie, fish and chips, steak and chips is what you get in most pubs
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These are recipes off the net! 
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Well, there's your problem! 
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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So first it was the restaurants that were wrong, now its the chefs and their recipes off the net that are wrong, what next, want me to go get a Ken Hom recipe book and see if they are the same? 
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Well ... I've still go one of his woks ...
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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The guy did well out of 6 ingredients didnt he.
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At random:
Ken Homs 5 spice pidgeons
Soy sauce
vinegar
sugar
onions
ginger
5 spice
SO basically, that is the same recipe for pork ribs 
modified 26-Feb-19 5:12am.
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Not even close! Pork does not come from Pigeon. 
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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It is odd though, they dont use herbs.
Imagine it, no thyme and rosmary. No coriander or parsley. Taragon and dill. And Mint?
The incredible variety of flavour, and not used.
Butter and cream? Nope.
And everything is stir fried, no stews, nothing baked, it really is an incredibly bland cuisine.
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Eh? They bake fish, they boil, they steam a sh*t-load! Go and find authentic Dim Sum some day, and there is nothing fried in the building!
You have to remember that China is a HUGE country, with a massive range of local cuisines. (To get an idea of the size, we hear about the American Civil War, which killed 600,000 people. But at the same time in China they had a civil war too - the Taiping Revolution - which killed not less than 20,000,000 and not more than 100,000,000; most likely around 70,000,000 and we don't hear about that at all! Remember that WWI "only" killed 40,000,000 and they have tanks and mustard gas ... and it kind of puts the place into proportion.)
What we get are the "export" recipes, not the "local" ones - any more than an "Indian" takeaway is in any way representative of food across the subcontinent.
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Yeah, they do steam some stuff. That is true.
What we get mostly is Cantonese of course, for restaurants, as for what is online, the recipes I find look to be the same kind of thing.
But even so Canton is a big area. If you want to talk about Europe being as big as China, then include all European food. Now look at the immense variety you have. From Pizza, to Paella, Pheasant in Chocolate sauce, Steak with Rochefort sauce, roast duck with red cabbage, fish and chips, Haggis, fermented shark, mousaka, kebabs, cheese fondue, beef wellington. The variety is so big and so profound it is hard to even think of it all at the same time.
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