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Quote: How many of you have come across something like this?
I've more than 20 years of experience in that.
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Only when .net was new and they wanted developers with at least three years' professional experience with it.
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"20 years experience? Really? Is that hexadecimal, octal or decimal? Anyway, I thought we invented it when I worked on this project five (hex, octal or decimal, your choice) years ago."*
*Say something like that only if you decide to decline during the interview. Then, when they come with something like this:
"I'm very sorry, but I must tell you..."
finish them off with this:
"No need to apologize. The loss is on your part. You just turned away the best man you could possibly get."
Arrogance can be delicious, especially if it's the truth. 
I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats.
His last invention was an evil Lasagna. It didn't kill anyone, and it actually tasted pretty good.
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CodeWraith wrote: Arrogance can be delicious, especially if it's the truth.
Yes! I was asked during a therapy session if I really wanted to risk going back to work after having a stroke. I said Of Course, I enjoy my work.
The therapist asked what if you're only able to work at 75% capacity?
I said, 75% of me is better than 100% of my competition.
She asked don't you think that seems arrogant? I replied It's not arrogant if it's true! She relented and I had paying work that afternoon since a client had put a project on hold waiting for me.
CQ de W5ALT
Walt Fair, Jr., P. E.
Comport Computing
Specializing in Technical Engineering Software
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I'm on the verge of doing that at the moment.
Been tooing and froing all day with what I now realise is a recruitment agency, after responding to an email requesting a freelance teacher to deliver one days worth of training to beginners in JavaScript.
I get the feeling that the person answering the emails is of Indian descent (Based on the syntax structure of the writing) so the answers are short and blunt with no meaning, just a stuborn refusal to listen.
They keep pushig and pushing, must have CV or we don't proceed, as I've pointed out to them, I've not written a CV for over 10 years, my employer for the last 7 has been my own limited company.
But nope, Must Have CV in Microsoft Word Format, nothing else is acceptable.
My Linked-in profile, is my CV these days.
So I printed my Li-Profile to a PDF, then saved that PDF as a Word doc, sent that... reply: this is not a CV, this is linked-in, must have CV.
So I'm about to turn round and tell them a) get lost & B) you'll not find a technology trainer, at such short notice (Needed in 10 days time) that has relevent teaching experience, and lives so close to the client...
Bloody idiots, all of them.
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I remember being told of a requirement for 10 years' .NET when .NET was new.
Kevin
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Been there, experienced that myself
Director of Transmogrification Services
Shinobi of Query Language
Master of Yoda Conditional
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Frequently!
The other one I really love is the "let's make a really, really long list of every tech the recruitment twat has ever heard of" game:
The ideal candidate will have worked with: VAX, Hoover, Dyson, SCO-UNIX, HPUX, AIX, XENIX, Multix, C, X (there must be something called X), BCPL, C++, C#, B flat, F# (ooh! Get me! That's quite a new one isn't it?), P-SQL, T-SQL, Java, Javascript (in case it's something different from Java), AS400, I4GL, Informix, HTML, XML, JSON, WCF, WPF, Sinclair BASIC, Excel, Word, Fortran 5, ALGOL, CSS, PC World (I got my laptop from there!), DOS, DR-DOS, Oracle, Ruby on Toast, PHP, PGP, JPEG (Man, I'm on a roll!), Visual Basic, ASP, Apple stuff (Note to self: look up later), Facebook, Amazon, Red Tube, Donkey (it's obscure but my mate told me about it), OS2, PS2, PS3, PS4, X-Box, Windows (I've got Windows on here, it must be a thing), USB stick, Mouse, Keyboard, Hard drive, Floppy Disk, CAD, DVD, DVT, Frisbee, Freeway (Oh, hang on, that was the dog in Hart to Hart - knew I'd learned something in last night's pub quiz), Sharepoint, Biztalk, SMMS, REST, Spandex, Ultravox, MySQL, LINUX, Ubuntu, X-Ray, Yankee, Zulu (Christ! That's a good list! How did I ever fail that CS degree?)
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. - Mark Twain
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I have all of that - except the Apple stuff, I don't do Apple stuff for religious reasons.
Taking the last three items for example:
- I have had experience of several X-rays over many decades, both analog and digital.
- I have had more than 20 years experience of Yankee, several versions (I moved to the US back in the last Millenium!)
- I have had more than 20 years experience of Zulu - it is one of my favourite films!
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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When can you start? (Please say last April, we've been advertising for ages!)
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. - Mark Twain
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I did start last April. You need to pay me up right now. Don't ya know.
To err is human to really mess up you need a computer
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We'll pay you just as soon as we find someone who know's the 867 tech stacks that our payroll system is written in!
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. - Mark Twain
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Just let me at that payroll system. I promise I will get paid. Trust me!
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Yankee!?
We done got enuf of them here in Atlanta. Don't want no more.
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There is something with X (XBase++, XSharp - as "xbase" language, X# - as "highl level assembler ... something with cosomos)
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You forgot experience with PG Tips!
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I take PG Tips as read - all good code-monkeys drink it!
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. - Mark Twain
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Indeed - tea making (and drinking) is a fundamental and irreplaceable skill. It's the bedrock on which apprenticeships were built.
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On a roll yes, but forgot to mention the Absolute essentials: COBOL,MVS,VM,VSE,RPG,JCL,CICS,REXX,JCL,CL,VSAM,DB2.
Good that you mentioned AS400 though 
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And to my eternal shame, I missed out C-ISAM, too! Now those were the days ...
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. - Mark Twain
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Is that a live requirement? Sadly, I do have experience in all of those, and in all cases my experience started over 20 years ago! 
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Whew! That's a relief. If Pascal had been listed in there that would have certainly eliminated me. I mean, learning Pascal in college doesn't count as "real" work, right?
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An old client of mine had CVs through from an agency stating they had people with 5 years experience in the project they had just started, which was a brand new venture.
This space for rent
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Pete O'Hanlon wrote: An old client of mine had CVs through from an agency stating they had people with 5 years experience in the project they had just started, which was a brand new venture.
So what you're saying is that both you and your client don't have time machines.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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Pretty much yup.
This space for rent
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