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What is complicated in my mind is I "formally" accepted. I didn't do any paperwork yet though. There are forms and a drug screen I have to do in order to be truly hired.
But yes, your description sounds right.
Elephant elephant elephant, sunshine sunshine sunshine
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loctrice wrote: drug screen
I see cure for your troubles 
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Just be honest and tell Company A what just happened. You have no obligation to go through if you haven't take any of the sign-on bonus money. Situation like happens all the time. If Company A doesn't understand that, you wouldn't want to work for them anyway. What you need to do is weight on which job or company is better in the long run.
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I actually had the same situation where the job with Company A was offered and I accepted as Company B was taking too long - then Company B finally came back with a much, much, much better offer and I told Company A that I would not be starting with them after all. I did this as soon as possible so as to give them chance to reach out to other candidates. They came back with a higher offer and an earlier start date but it still didn't match up. I knew from what they had already told me that this new offer would just mean a delay in any later pay raise anyway as they had fairly strict policies as to how much they would pay a given position.
Up to the point where they pay you some money for relocation or you actually start work or whatever, there should be no problem with saying, "I've reconsidered and my best opportunity is elsewhere, thanks, goodbye." This is not unprofessional.
I've had people come to join our team and quit after four hours. That was unprofessional.
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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In this case simply tell them that you've reconsidered and have decided to decline. Make sure Company B's offer is still on the table. You were given what appears to be a bait and switch by company A - they will continue to do so.
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No issue here - "upon further thought I've decided the job you offered is not what I am looking for" and be done with it. They apparently reconsidered too else they would not have switched jobs after the interview.
In a year's time no one will even remember it happened.
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Apart from maybe accepting the alternate offer too quickly, I see no fault on your part. Company A should accept it if you tell them you reconsidered. If they're professional they shouldn't bother you by asking for a reason (it might be obvious anyway after they shoved you to a different job).
It would be different if they offered you the job you applied for. But even then: it's your and your family's future that depends on this decision - nobody has the right to question that as long as you're not breaking any contract.
GOTOs are a bit like wire coat hangers: they tend to breed in the darkness, such that where there once were few, eventually there are many, and the program's architecture collapses beneath them. (Fran Poretto)
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F-ES Sitecore wrote: as what you are doing is unprofessional
Why? How is it different than leaving a job you are in to take a better job? How long should he have to work at the first job before he could take a different/better job somewhere else? 1 week? 3 months? At least in this position the company hasn't had to do a bunch of paperwork for in-processing a new employee and a bunch of training. They probably still have the ability to reach out to their other applicants if it has only been a short time since he accepted.
Aren't all jobs accepted on the unspoken premise of "I will work for you until something better comes along."?
I will agree that it is awkward and inconvenient for the the parties involved but I do not view it as unprofessional.
Socialism is the Axe Body Spray of political ideologies: It never does what it claims to do, but people too young to know better keep buying it anyway. (Glenn Reynolds)
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This is an interesting take. I don't disagree when it's phrased this way.
Also almost every job here is "at will" so it can be terminated instantly by either party for no reason at all.
Elephant elephant elephant, sunshine sunshine sunshine
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You must have heard the saying that "A man is only as good as his word."
He has made a commitment to the first company. Breaking that commitment makes him at best.. a liar. So, yes it is definitely unprofessional.
Try testing that approach on your wife.
"Honey, I'm with you until something better comes along." - let us know how that goes?
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This is actually more like breaking off an engagement than disrespecting your wife.
Elephant elephant elephant, sunshine sunshine sunshine
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Justify as you see fit to allow you to sleep at night; however, I agree that it is unprofessional. In any event, since nothing concerning this job is in writing yet, you don't need a formal letter to tell them you do not want the job (unless you have written a letter accepting the job). Basically, maintain consistency of correspondence.
Explain your situation to the extent you think necessary. You are not "saving face" with Company A here anyway; you now NEVER have a chance of being employed there: your record is in the system, and will always be referenced as "a quitter" in the future. Depending on how well management at Company A is connected to other companies, your reputation will precede you as you go through your career and fallout from this may exist for a while. Or it may not. Much like a relationship, the longer you wait to break it off, the more damage will occur.
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I don't know about unprofessional. You must judge your decision for your own career. No company will have any interest in your career development.
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He didn't exactly 'give his word', much less propose to the company. He made a decision, he thought about it, he reconsidered. To me that is a more reasonable and professional approach than sticking to the first decision no matter how wrong it was.
OTOH, going through with a decision that you realize was wrong is definitely unprofessional.
Did he lie when he accepted the offer? No. Lying implies intent. He didn't intend to retract his commitment.
The world would be a better place if everyone in a position to do so would regularly reassess his past decisions and correct them while it's only causing a minimal side effects rather than waiting until it all breaks down.
GOTOs are a bit like wire coat hangers: they tend to breed in the darkness, such that where there once were few, eventually there are many, and the program's architecture collapses beneath them. (Fran Poretto)
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It is different to leaving a current job because when you do that the company has got some value from your work, and you need to give a notice period which gives them a chance to replace you, and that notice period also means you have fully complied with your legal and moral duty to the company. Accepting a job offer and then declining it puts the company in a bad situation for many reasons. For one they may be banking on the fact that you are starting, and now they have to re-start the hiring process. They might have spent money on advertising, on agency fees etc which has gone to waste. If you are waiting on another offer to come through then you should tell the company that you need to wait, not accept it while you wait and see if the other offer comes through.
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I'm not sure where you live but everything here is "at will". There's no legal obligation at all and the moral obligation only seems to apply to the employee not the business. I've seen someone walked out of many jobs with no notice at all, and I've seen people rage quit and storm out.
This company knew I was interviewing with other companies. I think that's why they put a very short time limit on the offer they extended.
Elephant elephant elephant, sunshine sunshine sunshine
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I'm with you. I have no loyalty for any company. They need my skills and I sell my time + skills to make my living. If I don't produce they will ex me. If I find better option, I will leave. Simple as that.
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noob. no offense. I've been a hiring manager. We love people like you.
Charlie Gilley
<italic>Stuck in a dysfunctional matrix from which I must escape...
"Where liberty dwells, there is my country." B. Franklin, 1783
“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759
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All employers love me because I act professionally and have high moral standards
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disagree. 200%. Contract other than show up for a week, we'll pay you a week? Nonsense. If they *really* wanted him, they would have given him golden handcuffs.
Charlie Gilley
<italic>Stuck in a dysfunctional matrix from which I must escape...
"Where liberty dwells, there is my country." B. Franklin, 1783
“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759
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Nonsense. If they decided the next day that they didn't need him the would find a way to fire him.
If it's not broken, fix it until it is.
Everything makes sense in someone's mind.
Ya can't fix stupid.
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I can't understand this mindset many people have (especially in the states) where employees should be both beholden and loyal to companies even at their own cost but companies have zero obligation to the employee beyond a static paycheck. Hypocritical.
In general:
Loyalty, like respect, is a two-way street. If a company doesn't want to worry about hiring difficulties, then take the steps to keep talent you've hired. It's not like job-hunting is free for the labor either (in dollars or in time).
EDIT: Also in this specific case, no contracts have been signed yet. Do you honestly think a company would "do what's right" even if it cost the company money and they had no legal obligation to do it? 
modified 30-Oct-18 23:24pm.
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Yeah the laborer has to do a decent amount of work beyond just sending in resumes. I had several interviews and code tests and whatnot. Definitely not free.
I also understand that if it made sense for them, they'd cancel on me even after I'd quit my current job. I've seen that happen before (not to me, but to a friend).
Elephant elephant elephant, sunshine sunshine sunshine
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loctrice wrote: I also understand that if it made sense for them, they'd cancel on me even after I'd quit my current job. I've seen that happen before (not to me, but to a friend).
Happened to me. After I moved, in fact. Company decided they were fine with their old system and let 3 new hires go days before we started. I even drove 13 hours to an interview for that job. Learned my lesson. Now I'm just chilling in the middle of nowhere Kansas. Thinking of hopping over to CO after I finish school.
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Happened to me too. Got an interview, then an offer, and a couple of days later a friend of theirs got the job instead. So much for moral obligations...
Thankfully I had waited on responses from other companies before telling them to ignore my other applications, so I had no trouble taking another offer.
GOTOs are a bit like wire coat hangers: they tend to breed in the darkness, such that where there once were few, eventually there are many, and the program's architecture collapses beneath them. (Fran Poretto)
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