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Number 1 on the day I was born!
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I'm an optoholic - my glass is always half full of vodka.
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Without the video evidence he would have had trouble explaining to his wife what happened to the flowers on their wedding anniversary.
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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Jörgen Andersson wrote: Have to admire the size of his balls.
The guy or the moose? 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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That's a female moose in her "early teens"
Luckily I should add.
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I tried to read that, now my brain hurts.
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"I wanna stoop baby... stoop"
Wasn't that song in Deadpool?
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: Wasn't that song in Deadpool?
I'm hopelessly distant from pop-culture and I believe this DeadPool you speak of is in the top 10 of pop-culture, so I apologize because I cannot answer.
I'm old and don't understand any entertainment references past 1995 or so.
Now, if you had referred to Smokey & The Bandit I might've been able to answer. 
EDIT - Does DeadPool really sing that song?
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He doesn't sing it - it's background in the movie. I believe the "artist" that sings it is salt-n-peppa.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: I believe the "artist" that sings it is salt-n-peppa.
So table spices are now artists? I must be behind the times.
Common sense is admitting there is cause and effect and that you can exert some control over what you understand.
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Where is the job location, in a cave?
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Slacker007 wrote: Where is the job location, in a cave?
I wondered why the interviewer kept calling me Robin and referring to Alfred. Also, when he showed me the Bat Signal I should've known. Makes more sense now.
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That would be awesome. I do a lot of cave exploration (though I've only been to about 110 unique caves so far), and working in one would be great. And very good exercise. 
If you think 'goto' is evil, try writing an Assembly program without JMP.
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Ah, hence TN (Tennessee?) Caver.
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You nailed it.
If you think 'goto' is evil, try writing an Assembly program without JMP.
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Any close calls, danger wise?
Caving sounds like a great time, however, I get a bit claustrophobic in tight spaces and have a fear of heights, and....I have seen too many movies where bad things happen in caves. 
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Danger? Sure, a few. There are opportunities to fall off ledges, or someone above you dislodging a large rock that may fall on your head (helmets are highly recommended), or just bumping your head on the ceiling which suddenly got lower while you were paying attention to where you were stepping (again, helmets are highly recommended!), or similar dangers. Common sense and paying attention alleviate most, and some caves and situations are more dangerous than others, but most are pretty tame.
I've not yet heard of anyone running into monsters like in the movies, though I've stumbled across a few raccoons who weren't at all happy we were there, and I once found a rattlesnake who had the misfortune of falling into a wet stream cave but who was too cold to protest when we carried him out.
I too get a bit claustrophobic when I'm crawling on my belly and I start to feel the ceiling on my back... that's where I say eff it and back out. I have a fear a heights, too, but have managed to learn how to do rope work (travel the nylon highway, as they call it). I don't seem to get as scared when I can't see the bottom where my death awaits. lol
If you think 'goto' is evil, try writing an Assembly program without JMP.
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And it doesn't add up to 100%, so I assume that sometimes you'll be stooping while you're climbing.
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This is starting to sound more like this company conducts periodic end of days drills.
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When I worked at a paper mill, some of the servers were very low on the rack and some server (VAX/VMS) were sitting on the floor in the computer room. So, yes, there was some 'stooping' to physically reach the nodes.
One night while on call, a VMS node crashed; I had to call the person who generally maintained them for verbal assistance (he had bypass-surgery and couldn't climb stairs, so was physically unable to help). He directed me in powering down the 'spare' node, physically swapping the hard drives and restarting the 'spare' node as the desired node. All of that work was done while sitting on the computer room floor.
So... yes, those can be valid requirements for employment.
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Tim Carmichael wrote: So... yes, those can be valid requirements for employment.
I hate when things make sense. They are so much less funny.
Humor reigns supreme!
I'll be moving back to my normal state of ignorance now. It's bliss. 
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Don't you just hate it when thousands of dollars worth of mission-critical equipment are on the floor, and then you go to open the CD drive and an ant colony falls out? Happened to me for the second time in five years last night. Up late with a lot of air cans.
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