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Sounds like you just need to grease the palm of whoever knows the SA password. 
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I can get fired for even hinting that would be a solution.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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Yes. I know. I did mark my reply as a joke. 
I used to work with a secret clearance too. I am no stranger to how paranoia is allowed to get in the way of getting any real work done. And in very few cases was that paranoia actually warranted... 
Though I expect in your case, there probably isn't anyone who actually knows the SA password anyway. It's either in a lockbox somewhere, or the account is disabled completely.
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Apparently, the DBAs downstairs cannot discern the difference between a windows system admin, and a database system admin. They though I wanted SA on the box itself. After fixing that misconception, nothing has changed. They're promising better access when we move to SQL 2012 because it allows more granular permissions. I am not optimistic...
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: Finally, I have a secret clearance.
Not any more - you just told us about it.
I'm retired. There's a nap for that...
- Harvey
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Try this on for size:
DBA. In the Server Admin group.
Run-As is disabled on the workstation, so I can't use the SA account to run SQL Server Management Studio.
The SA account cannot log into a workstation.
Result = unable to connect to any SQL Servers.
SQL Servers are not configured for remote access, and there are no SQL tools installed on them anyway.
SA can log into a "jump box" which has all the required SQL tools, the idea being to connect from there to the assorted SQL Servers.
But the "jump box" will not pass Smart Card credentials to the SQL Servers, requiring a login/password to be used.
We don't have logins or passwords, we have Smart Cards.
I've been here since December.
I still haven't started working.
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That SO survey got me wondering what programming language the folks here would be personally interested in learning (and I mean, becoming proficient in) if you had the time & inclination?
This is actually a difficult question for me, because any time I have to work with something else (most notably Python at the moment) I end up missing all the snazzy features of C#.
That said, personally I'd like to explore the functional programming / parallel computing space some more, so F#, Rust and Erlang come mind.
Go falls under the category of a curiosity, I'm not sure what practical use I have for it, and I suppose there's always more bad practices to learn and hair pulling experiences to have with regards to Javascript.
Your turn!
Marc
Latest Article - Merkle Trees
Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny
Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
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Rust & Swift & Julia
#SupportHeForShe
Government can give you nothing but what it takes from somebody else. A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take everything you've got, including your freedom.-Ezra Taft Benson
You must accept 1 of 2 basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not alone. Either way, the implications are staggering!-Wernher von Braun
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TheGreatAndPowerfulOzRust & Swift & Julia
Exactly and precisely the same, except no Julia.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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TheGreatAndPowerfulOzRust & Swift & Julia
I forgot about Swift. I might add Scala to my list too, and was thinking about Julia.
Marc
Latest Article - Merkle Trees
Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny
Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
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I'm just trying to get by till I can retire with as little learning effort as possible. But seeing that that time is 15 years away, it's not that as easy as I could wish for... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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I am currently learning and using C#. As I expect to work until I drop dead over the keyboard, I am hoping that it will stay current until I do. At age 68 I am among the .08% of programmers in my age category. And YES there is AGE discrimination in our industry.
I am converting my program from VB6 to C# not for myself but for my loyal customers that have been with me since 1984 .....
AGE, Experience, and low cunning will overcome youth every time...
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At 62 I am in your age category and expect to need the keyboard pried from my cold, dead, hands.
I worked in assembly language for 15 years, made my way to C, then to Cold Fusion, and now VB.Net and C#. There is most certainly age discrimination in our industry. My method of dealing with it involves selling my value as an experienced developer, while carefully manicuring and massaging the number of years I have been writing software.
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Due to
Marc Clifton wrote: becoming proficient in
probably none for me because adding another language may result in loosing practice of my "main" languages.
If I had to choose one it will be probably C# because I have only basic knowledge so far.
modified 22-Mar-17 10:31am.
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Jochen Arndt wrote: loosing
Before you get jumped on by native-speaking grammar nazis, it's "losing".
English pronunciation is unsurpassable!*[^]
* What it's unsurpassable at is for you to decide
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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But not screwed?
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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I'm sober but screwed up.
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Nailed it!
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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C#. I know it but I'm not that proficient with it as I develop mainly in C/C++ with a side of (ugh!) VB6.
* CALL APOGEE, SAY AARDWOLF
* GCS d--- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L- E-- W++ N++ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5? X R++ tv-- b+ DI+++ D++ G e++>+++ h--- ++>+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
* Never pay more than 20 bucks for a computer game.
* I'm a puny punmaker.
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C++
I would love to have the time to learn and grok C++.
Edit: in all it's many flavors and colors.
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As one of the working (i.e. not yet retired) stiffs, I don't really have time to learn languages that I'm not likely to use.
Having said that, I have learnt Python, am learning the additions to C++ (C++14, and the proposals for C++17), and trying to come up to speed on the latest changes to C#.
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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Daniel Pfeffer wrote: and trying to come up to speed on the latest changes to C#.
VS2017 just auto-completed a property getter with a lambda "throw not implemented" expression, to which my response was, WTF is that? Discovered it's a C# 6.0 feature that I didn't know about. 
Marc
Latest Article - Merkle Trees
Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny
Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
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How about something totally different, like putting graphics hardware to good use?
If you really want to have graphics, then HLSL (High Level Shader Language) is the way to go, but if you want to use the GPU for real number crunching, you might need something that's a little more general and less geared towards graphics.
What kind of number crunching? How about AI? Neural networks needs a few (matrix) calculations and GPUs are very good at that.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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