|
CDP1802 wrote: Still, that's only part of the story. It gets really interesting when the WTFs stop and are replaced by 'If I ever meet the idiot who...".
I had to test, fix and benchmark about 8kloc of "highly optimized" (teorically, in practice most of the time it wasn't performant) Assembly code (IA32 with full support to SSE up to SSSE3) which was both uncommented and undocumented, written by a guy who resigned years earlier.
That sentence was repeated quite often...
* CALL APOGEE, SAY AARDWOLF
* GCS d--- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L- E-- W++ N++ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5? X R++ tv-- b+ DI+++ D++ G e++>+++ h--- ++>+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
* Never pay more than 20 bucks for a computer game.
* I'm a puny punmaker.
|
|
|
|
|
How does the sentence usually end?
I usually would like to tar and feather him, throw him out of the guild and then out of the city.
Guards! 
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
|
|
|
|
|
CDP1802 wrote: How does the sentence usually end?
... and have a nice long chat with hims as it must be enlightening to speak with such an obviously alien mind. While beating him to death with a pillow or similar soft implement (it is slow enough to be satisfying).
* CALL APOGEE, SAY AARDWOLF
* GCS d--- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L- E-- W++ N++ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5? X R++ tv-- b+ DI+++ D++ G e++>+++ h--- ++>+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
* Never pay more than 20 bucks for a computer game.
* I'm a puny punmaker.
|
|
|
|
|
CDP1802 wrote: It gets really interesting when the WTFs stop and are replaced by 'If I ever meet the idiot who...".
Especially in my case, where it often turns out that it was the guy in the mirror.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
|
|
|
|
|
Johnny posted the same below. I just give you the same answer:
We all learn and we are always smarter afterwards. That's not what I meant. To get me that angry, someone must have done something that borders on sabotage. Something that's obviously a very bad idea and is so deeply embedded in the program that simple refactoring will not help to get rid of it.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
|
|
|
|
|
Aye, I also do things like that and then berate me months/years later 
* CALL APOGEE, SAY AARDWOLF
* GCS d--- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L- E-- W++ N++ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5? X R++ tv-- b+ DI+++ D++ G e++>+++ h--- ++>+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
* Never pay more than 20 bucks for a computer game.
* I'm a puny punmaker.
|
|
|
|
|
Sure, but something in our own code that later embarrasses us for its dumbnicity, when we've learned more, it'll royally p1ss off anyone who's already got that "extra" knowledge.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
|
|
|
|
|
CDP1802 wrote: It gets really interesting when the WTFs stop and are replaced by 'If I ever meet the idiot who...".
I would never dare say that, because with my poor memory, chances are that it's me!
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-
The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
|
|
|
|
|
We all learn and we are always smarter afterwards. That's not what I meant. To get me that angry, someone must have done something that borders on sabotage. Something that's obviously a very bad idea and is so deeply embedded in the program that simple refactoring will not help to get rid of it.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
|
|
|
|
|
About 100 years ago (Ok maybe not that long ago, but pre-WinNT!) we had to use a pre-processor in our build cycle for some weird and wonderful 3rd party add-on SQL-like tool. A bug in said pre-processor meant that certain header files had to have a blank line at the top or the first line of actual code got mangled.
After the 6th or 7th time of fixing the problem because someone had "tidied up" the whitespace in the file I added a comment:
I did actually get a phone call many years later (and after I had left that company) to be asked if it still applied!
|
|
|
|
|
Did you have to go there again and do it?
CHill60 wrote: pre-processor
Stop confusing the kids. Such things, like also memory management, are forbidden to them by religion.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
|
|
|
|
|
Good thing I'm an atheist!
* CALL APOGEE, SAY AARDWOLF
* GCS d--- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L- E-- W++ N++ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5? X R++ tv-- b+ DI+++ D++ G e++>+++ h--- ++>+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
* Never pay more than 20 bucks for a computer game.
* I'm a puny punmaker.
|
|
|
|
|
CDP1802 wrote: Stop confusing the kids.
Um. Is a pre-processor a framework?
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
|
|
|
|
|
No. A paradigm and also one of the black centipedes that have been soldered to one of those green thingies in the computer. 
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
|
|
|
|
|
Quote: Stop confusing the kids
They really didn't understand why I didn't care any more 
|
|
|
|
|
"Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live." -- attributed to John Woods, whoever that is.
If you think 'goto' is evil, try writing an Assembly program without JMP.
|
|
|
|
|
The WTF per minute is the ONLY valid measurement of code quality we use 
"There are two ways of constructing a software design: One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult." - C.A.R. Hoare
Home | LinkedIn | Google+ | Twitter
|
|
|
|
|
|
ed welch wrote: Facebook's iOS app ... uses 18,000 classes.
which is kinda ironic, seeing how many Farcebook users have NO class.
Software rusts. Simon Stephenson, ca 1994. So does this signature. me, 2012
|
|
|
|
|
Are you sure about that joke icon? 
|
|
|
|
|
Peter_in_2780 wrote: which is kinda ironic, seeing how many Farcebook users have NO class.
If they had at least seen a classroom from the inside...
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
|
|
|
|
|
The more the better... isn't it?
M.D.V. 
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
|
|
|
|
|
You do need to have an interface to the interface that interfaces with all the other interfaces.
|
|
|
|
|
I take it that's just the abstract version?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
|
|
|
|
|
Member 11683251 wrote: You do need to have an interface to the interface that interfaces with all the other interfaces.
You have to know the guy who has the one to rule them all?
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
|
|
|
|
General 
News 
Suggestion 
Question 
Bug 
Answer 
Joke 
Praise 
Rant 
Admin 
Submit an article or tip
