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Hope that doesn't tic anyone off.
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
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the fall of Foudouko, the fate of Mamadou : a dark tale worthy of Master William of Avon, methinks: [^] Video (not for children ?) here: [^]
imho, this story has everything MacBeth, Titus Andronicus, and Hamlet have, and more butt-foo than the Kardahians.
And, oh yes, it reminds me of a certain software company I was an inmate of for a few years.
cheers, Bill
«There is a spectrum, from "clearly desirable behaviour," to "possibly dodgy behavior that still makes some sense," to "clearly undesirable behavior." We try to make the latter into warnings or, better, errors. But stuff that is in the middle category you don’t want to restrict unless there is a clear way to work around it.» Eric Lippert, May 14, 2008
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Quote: that shows how chimps deal with a tyrant
Think of all the tyrants from the history book or all the lesser tyrants that we meet on the job. Thank god we don't have to eat them to make sure we are rid of them. And torturing them first probably even makes them taste worse.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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CDP1802 wrote: And torturing them first probably even makes them taste worse.
Makes them taste better - tenderized and hung long enough to drain.
Sin tack ear lol
Pressing the any key may be continuate
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Yes, but all those stress hormones...
If it's not so good for ordinary pork, it will also not make such a dirty pig taste better.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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the fall of...
one can only hope. 
Marc
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Working for DAYS on a code set based on an idea, and then, just as you get it working reliably, it occurs to you that there's a MUCH better way to do it, and then you think, "am I gonna be embarrassed when someone else looks at this code?", and because it hurts to think about, you decided to refactor by starting all over again, and realize that 95% of the code you implemented wasn't necessary to begin with, and the other 5% is all that's usable from your sense of failure and self-loathing?
Or do you just say "f*ck it" and release it to production?
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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I do that a lot. Generally I don't have a clue what I'm doing when I get going, and it emerges what was required, and the flaws in my simplistic approach. Then I do it all over again, often more than once. This is the road to perfection.
Regards,
Rob Philpott.
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Rob Philpott wrote: This is the road to perfection.
It's the road to somewhere, that's for sure. In my case, it feel more like the insane asylum, though... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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If it's not needed then chop it out.. every extra line of code is a potential performance hit or bug just waiting to make your life a misery weeks/months/years(!) down the road 
Ah, I see you have the machine that goes ping. This is my favorite. You see we lease it back from the company we sold it to and that way it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.
modified 31-Aug-21 21:01pm.
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Release it but put in some comments that make people think somebody else wrote it! 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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I try to write comments like an Indian. That way, everyone will think the code was outsourced, and will understand why the code looks like it does.
Like this:
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
modified 31-Jan-17 10:37am.
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You mean like "How! This code run fast like great metal horse across the wide open prairies where the buffalo roams! Hoka hey!"? 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: Like this:
Wouldn't work. Anyone can tell it's fake by the lack of "u", "ur", "plz" and "urgtz" contained within the comment.
Speed of sound - 1100 ft/sec
Speed of light - 186,000 mi/sec
Speed of stupid - instantaneous.
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Chuckit in the f*ckit bucket and move on.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: and because it hurts to think about, you decided to refactor by starting all over again, and realize that 95% of the code you implemented wasn't necessary to begin with, and the other 5% is all that's usable from your sense of failure and self-loathing?
Isn't that the definition of "prototype"?
But prototyping is a dying art. Even in hardware circles, we sometimes shipped hand-wired prototypes to meet delivery schedules. 
Marc
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Marc Clifton wrote: Isn't that the definition of "prototype"?
But prototyping is a dying art.
Suddenly you made me realize there's a reason there's a "pro" in "prototype".
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If it ain't broke don't fix it!
New version: WinHeist Version 2.2.2 Beta I told my psychiatrist that I was hearing voices in my head. He said you don't have a psychiatrist!
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If you find there's a better way that won't take you a long time to implement... use it. You'll thank yourself later.
Jeremy Falcon
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If you work for an organization that measures progress by lines-of-code, then comment out the existing stuff with
#if 0
...
#endif and add the new approach. If not, then remove the old stuff and go on.
Software Zen: delete this;
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[well, it went by so fast, we missed it...]  
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You had enough time for the light to travel roughly from the monitor to your eyeballs. How much more time do you need?
| Ravings en masse^ |
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| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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You need to get your eyes checked - you are sitting way too close to the monitor! (About 30cm away)
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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OriginalGriff wrote: you are sitting way too close to the monitor!
Too close to my monitor, is it?
(Gratuitous and uncalled for reply: )*
Well - even at roughly 30 cm it's safer than being sheep in Wales.
* But never off topic!
| Ravings en masse^ |
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| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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There went again...
New version: WinHeist Version 2.2.2 Beta I told my psychiatrist that I was hearing voices in my head. He said you don't have a psychiatrist!
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