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A Fish Called Walter? 
Either that or
Tarzan vs. Jaws 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Womanizer
In Word you can only store 2 bytes. That is why I use Writer.
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Are you thinking of this one[^]?
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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More about a candidate with fluffy hair
In Word you can only store 2 bytes. That is why I use Writer.
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A Fish Called Wanda
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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Ok, once again time for.....
SHARKNADO
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"Fish And Chips"... holy... this even is a real movie 
(yes|no|maybe)*
"Fortunately, we don't need details - because we can't solve it for you." - OriginalGriff
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The Incredible Mr. Limpet
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After messing around with controlling my headless Mac Mini for a couple of weeks over wifi (70MBPS), I finally got it set up and working via Ethernet cable (1.0GBPS).
It was driving me crazy. I finally got it set up on a assigned IP.
It continued to be slow for a couple of days but I couldn't figure it out.
Finally
I finally tried a different ethernet cable and !BOOM! super fast. 
I detailed the steps at: macbook - Is is possible to use remote desktop to a Mac via direct cable or wireless? - Ask Different[^]
Before, I would type a character and it would wait about 1.5 seconds before the char appeared. Complete agony.
Now I can grab an entire window on the Mac and drag it all around and it redraws almost instantly.
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raddevus wrote: ...tried a different ethernet cable and !BOOM!
Almost as if you connected a galaxy note 7. 
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Rajesh R Subramanian wrote: Almost as if you connected a galaxy note 7
This joke is going to continue for a long while, isn't it? 
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Leslie doesn't mind.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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The cable quality is ever more critical these days. When we're dealing with data rates in the gigabit ranges, simple cables become transmission lines operating at microwave frequencies and above. Twist rates and termination quality are critical to avoid reflections on the line and dropped packets. Even in a high quality 6e cable, sharp bends and crushed cables can cause serious problems. Your best bet is probably to channel the Bastard Operator From Hell via a pair of TV rabbit ears and some aluminum foil, then route the signals to your more pedantic router with 300 ohm ladder line and a 75 ohm converter. It's ugly, but it can be done. But I digress...
I can recall when CP took longer than 2 seconds to respond. We had, perhaps, 50,000 members, but if more than 200 of them dared to connect at once, the whole thing would give up trying and go to sleep. In my own experience, I was one of the first subscribers to use online banking; Bank of America offered online access in 1983, I think, making them one of the earliest adopters. It took about 30 to 45 minutes to check a checkbook balance, but it was lots better than having to drive into the city to ask in person. Again, cable quality was the issue. Standard 25-pair 22 ga copper wire bundles with a twist rate of 5 or 6 turns per inch lacked the capacity for faster data transfer rates. Today we take for granted 10 Gbps data rates, and get frustrated by reduced rates the we would have killed small animals to have a mere decade or two ago.
In summary, quit your whining and be thankful for what you have. In my youth, we would have called it FM; Freakin' Magic. 
Will Rogers never met me.
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Those are honestly some great stories. Thanks for sharing. You're right, it is all really amazing and I remember the days of disconnectivity (fondly).
I remember in 1993-4ish a co-worker called me over to his cubicle to see a copy of Mosaic running so I could see what the Internet was.
Cable Examination
And, your explanation about the cables is tremendous. I was flabbergasted that switching the cable helped so much. They are both just cheap cables which I had as leftovers from something or another.
Here's the deal, the 2nd cable I attached actually had the following printed on it:
cable said: "Only use for connecting to wireless router"
Cross-over Cable?
Would you happen to know what they are attempting to indicate? Is it a "cross-over" cable?
Is that possibly why direct connect from laptop to Mac Mini was failing before...because I had a regular pass-thru ethernet cable?
Or was it still just dumb luck? Bad luck followed by a bit of good luck.
Thanks again for all those details. 
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There's something wonderfully oxymoronic about the phrase "Only use for connecting to wireless router."
It might be dumb luck, or you might really have two different style Ethernet cables. The crossover terminology is a holdover from the RS232 days, when we swapped the Tx and Rx pins depending on the connection. Ethernet uses two pairs of lines - a Tx pair and a Rx pair - to connect, and in the early days it really mattered. PCs and printers and such were called Data Terminal Equipment (DTE) and switches, modems, multiplexers, and hubs were called Data Communications Equipment (DCE). A regular cable was used to connect two devices of different class, but a crossover cable was required to connect two devices of the same class. For the past decade or more, though, the devices have come with auto-sensing ports, and are capable of internally adapting to the connected device.
Look up the spec for a TIA/EIA 568A and 568B terminations. IIRC, the differ only in that the orange/ orange-white pair is swapped with the green/ green-white pair in the RJ-45 connector. If both ends of the cable are wired the same, you have a straight cable. If they differ, it's a crossover cable.
Anyway, glad to hear you got it working! 
Will Rogers never met me.
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Was not aware VNC had that much overhead to work this badly at 70mbps. Especially considering you can stream full-screen 1080p HD video at 30fps over much less bandwidth.
Of course, that's oversimplifying and not painting a complete picture, but still, it kinda puts things into perspective.
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dandy72 wrote: Was not aware VNC had that much overhead to work this badly at 70mbps
That is a fantastic point! You saw clearly & exactly what I was going through.
While trying to get it working I tried exactly what you mentioned -- streaming video from the Mac Mini - watched a youtube video as a test -- and I was able to do it, but My VNC connection was always terrible.
I just couldn't figure it out and it was driving me crazy.
That's also why I was so amazed and happy when changing the cable made the immediate difference.
For a while I even thought it was XCode doing something because every time I tried to type code, it would slow down like crazy -- or maybe it was just way more obvious then.
Edit And another thing, I was watching the bytes sent over my NIC since only VNC was on that and I was seeing bytes being transferred all the time, even when the Mac was sitting idle. I saw over 3GB data sent in 30 minutes. That totally confused me. Why would VNC or Mac or whatever send that much data?
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How's this for a simple test: Copy a large file between your two systems with your current configuration, and keep an eye on the transfer rate. Explorer should give you a fairly good assessment (PerfMon might be better). Then try again with your previous configuration, and compare the two. Presumably, that would reveal a rough estimate of the best transfer rate VNC could get under ideal conditions.
Of course, caching can skew the results, so I'd try rebooting both machines before each operation and try it a couple of times to get better / more representative results.
And then, the problem might not be raw transfer rate, but latency. If it takes half a second for VNC to get things going and start showing the remote cursor moving as you move the mouse, surely that would drive anyone insane.
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Surprised they didn't try to cover it up. 
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"the responding officers reportedly left the scene before Turner returned to her car."
'Cause, y'know, they wouldn't want to do anything like prevent the car or its contents being stolen, because of the broken window, would they? You'd have to be pretty stupid to expect that kind of behaviour from cops.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Wow. Now try to be a good Samaritan and do the same, as a civilian...and then walk away as the cops did...
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What fantastic role-models... 
Sounds like time to start breaking criminals out of the back of police cruisers. It could be hot in there, and they're handcuffed, and the doors don't open from the inside... Same level of thought as these officers applied, right? That means it's okay?
Does lend support for paying police better wages though. Maybe that would attract some actually intelligent people to the profession... 
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Yes, but the wig might have been flattened by the heat!
Seriously, we find a number of dead babies each year in AZ, because of distracted parents walking away from a child in the back seat. It happens a lot, and I'm sure that, in most cases, there is no malice intended - just plain, stupid inattention. We should offer voluntary vasectomies as an alternative to incarceration for such men. I happen to think that a wig in the car would be clearly different from a suffering baby, but since I've never seen either in my lifetime, I'm not qualified to judge. I'm just glad that the wig is alright...
Will Rogers never met me.
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