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Where do I upload your $2.5 million USD. Tomorrow we give you a raise
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My bank account is located at the Western Union branch on the corner of Happiness and Health. Just send it to VB_Coder. I'll collect the cash and send you the rest of the code. 
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newton.saber wrote: Please build the life-transforming all-encompassing new platform which 8.2 billion people of the earth will begin using tomorrow.
Using only 4 programmers! 
Once you lose your pride the rest is easy.
In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you. – Buddha
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JimmyRopes wrote: Using only 4 programmers!
We really shouldn't need more than 1 programmer should we? I mean what would all those people do?
Now, Marketers...we're going to need 100s of them. 
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That's what the other three programmers are for. Three programmers are roughly equivalent to 99 marketers by my calculations.
Sure there's a little bit of slack, but I'm confident if we pull together we can make up the difference!
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There's one born every minute. How many applicants have they had already?
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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Daniel Pfeffer wrote: How many applicants have they had already?
Well...
I don't want to toot my own horn, but at least one. 
I'm quarkified too, betuz I are an awesome keyboardist.
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Kevin Marois wrote: developing a world changing platform
Cool, they must be developing another javascript framework that'll be all the rage for 4 months before the next one comes along.
Kevin Marois wrote: The pay for this position is incredibly high, between $350k to $450K annually
Excellent! I hope that like all freelance projects they want all the code to be on their servers at all times and they'll pay me when the whole project is finished and they have all the code up and running.
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Quote: been developing websites and platforms since they were a teenager
When I was a teenager, websites didn't exist... neither did the internet!
My first computer was a mainframe!
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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Now then, it should become a very relaxed Job for you 
modified 19-Jan-21 21:04pm.
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Forogar wrote: hen I was a teenager, websites didn't exist...
Stop your limited thinking.
How're you going to get ahead like that?
I personally worked on the Internet __before__ it was created.
We used typewriters and shuffled the papers amongst ourselves.
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I was around when the first internet virus was deployed on DARPA. Imagine the fun of single stepping a DEC 8/12 to trap it.
The difficult may take time, the impossible a little longer.
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That is cool. I remember reading about that virus in John McAfee's original book about viruses (virii).
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I resemble that.
Mongo: Mongo only pawn... in game of life.
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Platforms did though. Many more of them as well as most rail lines hadn't been closed yet. 
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Kevin Marois wrote: as we are creating a life changing platform that will change the medical industry.
Ah - I see early hints of the iSuppository(tm) work here?
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There are repos from Git.
This will be suppos from ___PUT__!!
Get it?!! nyuck nyuck! PUT. You know suppository going to get you PUTTING all over the place. 
I have actually become much funnier recently. I don't even know how that is possible. 
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'websites' ?!
Klingon developers don't write code for websites.
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I moved from LA when I was 22. Haven't looked back.
I recommend the same.
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compensation: Doe
Dat compensation, doe!
No, really, 350k+? That really does sound too good to be true...
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I actually interviewed for this job.
Things went really well right up to the end where I was told that I would have to wear a tie on office days.
I walked out and didn't look back.
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For 350-450K I'd dress in drag or go full nude.
If it's not broken, fix it until it is
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If I went full nude, barf bags would need to be supplied to the others.
Mongo: Mongo only pawn... in game of life.
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Just a tie?!?
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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Let me run that through Google Translate... From "RecruiterSpeak" to "English"...
Kevin Marois wrote: compensation: Doe
"All salary figures below should be assumed to represent kilograms of venison"
Kevin Marois wrote: We are looking for an incredibly talented and gifted programmer to join us in developing a world changing platform that would be adopted by everyone in the world.
"Our platform was really revolutionary ten years ago, but it's already been done by ten other companies, and we think our trivial feature will be unique enough to compete against them."
Kevin Marois wrote: We need a programmer who has been developing websites and platforms since they were a teenager!
"If the Internet wasn't around (In its current form) when you were a teenager, you're too old and we won't hire you"
Kevin Marois wrote: C, C++, PHP, Python, Javascript, and Go would be the languages you have mastered!
"We don't know anything about programming, but my cousin's nephew said these are really popular right now"
Kevin Marois wrote: The pay for this position is incredibly high, between $350k to $450K annually.
"Paid in stock options that will soon become worthless"
Kevin Marois wrote: You will only be required to be in the office to work when needed. Otherwise you are allowed to work remotely, so long as you get your tasks completed on time.
"Our 'office' is actually the CEO's basement"
Kevin Marois wrote: Must have real talent, as we are creating a life changing platform that will change the medical industry.
"We don't know anything about the medical industry, but we heard there's a lot of money there, because... Obamacare!"
Kevin Marois wrote: The team would be small, as there would only be 3 other programmers working with you
"We're hoping we'll be able to find 3 or 4 people stupid enough to take this job"
Kevin Marois wrote: We have set aside 5 million to pay programmers, so this position is incredibly high paying
"In stock options, of course."
Kevin Marois wrote: Please apply ONLY if you are truly skilled at programming
"And please don't lie, because we'll have no way of verifying whether you actually know how to program."
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