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This is a terrible joke - sorry!
A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.
So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.
After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house.
He took the box back home, found a good spot for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to church with him.
So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to church with me today? We will have a good time."
But there was no answer from his new pet.
This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked again, "How about going to church with me and receive blessings?"
But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.
The guy decided to invite the centipede one last time.
This time he put his face up against the centipede's house and shouted, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to church with me and learn about God?"...
This time, a little voice came out of the box, "I heard you the first time! I'm putting my shoes on!"
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No no a hundred times no!
New version: WinHeist Version 2.1.0
When you are dead you don't know it, it's only difficult for others.
It's the same when you're stupid.
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If I had a shoe for everytime I'd heard that joke...
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Bless you!
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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Just found that if we have the word attached or attachment in the message and there is no attachment, it confirms if I am forgetting to attach the file. I like it.
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what does it do with detach?
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Sends a bulldozer to your home... 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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OriginalGriff wrote: Sends a bulldozer to your home...
but that would make it prompt for a bull
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Thunderbird has been doing that for quite a long time.
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iphones have got cameras on the front AND the back.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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For some inexplicable reason, that sounds obscene.
Software Zen: delete this;
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I find the entire concept of selfies obscene.
My idea of a "selfie stick" has a pointed end.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Android has cameras front and back, less price, open source technology and a map that does not send you to Mars if all you want is a Mars bar from the nearest store.
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I was commenting that this "new great feature" in Outlook is nothing new -- just like the "new great feature" of front and back cameras for the iphone was something that I'd had for two years on my phone at the time.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Mark_Wallace wrote: new great feature
I don't think I mentioned that.
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So I got my new Samsung S5 the other week and after setting it up found that the Navigon Navigation that came with the Smasung for free for the last 2 phones is no longer supported.
Samsung (and Optus) haven't removed it, in fact it requires you update it after creating a Samsung Account before it tells you it won't work.
So I look in the Play Store and found I could get Navigon Australia for AUD$29.95. Better than that I find I have a prepaid credit card attached to my Google Account with money on it.
So I've installed Navigon and found Carmageddon (Full) for AUD$1.31.
So what else do I "need" to purchase next? I have a Nexus 7 (with SIM but not HD screen) as well as the S5.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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I haven't had to purchase anything for my Samsung Note 4. I use Google maps for navigation. Don't know if that is available in your area.
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For navigation, I use Google maps with traffic updates. Other than that, I have only purchased SwiftKey keyboard for all my android devices.
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Swiftkey is definitely worth getting.
Keeper for passwords
WIFI channel analyzer for trouble shooting home wifi and ensuring I am on an unused channel.
X-plore for managing files on the device.
Teamviewer.
S Planner for calendar management.
Media Monkey for music.
Onavo Count for figuring out how much of my mobile data package I have used.
Avast for virus protection.
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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GuyThiebaut wrote: WIFI channel analyzer for trouble shooting home wifi and ensuring I am on an unused channel.
I use the free WiFi Analyser[^] for that, and jolly useful it is too!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Thanks for the tip 
I will give that a try too.
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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I have installed those free applications:
1. Here maps (offline navigation).
2. Waze (online navigation, our government adds news there regarding the road status which is good).
3. Skype.
4. tapatalk (some forums use that).
5. FBReader (to read some ebooks).
6. VNCViewer.
7. TeamViewer.
8. ES File Explorer (when you have to change a file extension...)
9. VLC
10. FTP Server
11. SuperBeam
...
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Ooh, I'd start with ES File Explorer[^] and/or Total Commander[^] and a bunch of its plug-ins.
Hacker's keyboard[^] is, IMO, the only one worth using.
GPad Remote[^] is something that I use a lot more than I thought I would.
NAP[^] is handy, if your copy of Tie a Yellow Ribbon is on your computer.
Draw![^] is cool for writing or drawing things to show to people without having to piddle about with editing tools (Handwriter[^] is similar, but I preferred the simpler app).
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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