|
Bad Joke of the Day
A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by.
He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like "Brian!
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to Brian Sullivan, every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Brian Sullivan. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."
Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Brian Sullivan, he could do everything right."
Passenger: "Wow. Some guy then.
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Brian, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Brian Sullivan."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Brian. He died. I'm married to his f****ing widow."
I'll get my coat.
Once you lose your pride the rest is easy.
In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you. – Buddha
Simply Elegant Designs Jim<</xml>
|
|
|
|
|
JimmyRopes wrote: I'll get my coat.
Don't, this is indeed a very good one. Makes it to my CP top ten.
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Entropy isn't what it used to.
|
|
|
|
|
This is actually a good one, even if I don't know if to loagh or to sympathize with the poor fella!
Geek code v 3.12
GCS d--- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L- E-- W++ N++ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5? X R++ tv-- b+ DI+++ D++ G e++>+++ h--- r++>+++ y+++*
Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
|
|
|
|
|
You should change the color of your name every week or so; just to keep us on our toes.
|
|
|
|
|
Quote: just to keep us on our toes the ropes FTFY
Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.
|
|
|
|
|
That sounds like my wife. When she is in a good mood tho. If she is not(most of the time), it's far worse.
There is only one Vera Farmiga and Salma Hayek is her prophet!
Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.
|
|
|
|
|
Good one
She sounds familiar!
New version: WinHeist Version 2.1.0
My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.
I'm currently unsupervised, I know it freaks me out too but the possibilities are endless.
|
|
|
|
|
I have taken the liberty of extrapolating DD's concept of "cultural meme"[^] a bit. Obscure yes, and many may have missed it, but acccording to Google this term has occured 928 times on Code Project...
"In honour of our Founding Father, for his prolonged spotless and warm work, unarmed a thousand and one elementary almost mothers" (7, 7)
"Prolonged spotlessness and warmth, unarmed a thousand and one elementary almost mothers" (7, 7)
Life is too shor
modified 21-Jan-15 8:01am.
|
|
|
|
|
MAUNDER MINIMUM
In honour of our Founding Father, MAUNDER
for his prolonged spotless and warm work,
unarmed
a thousand and one MI
elementary NI (Nickel)
almost mothers MUM
"The Maunder Minimum, also known as the "prolonged sunspot minimum", is the name used for the period starting in about 1645 and continuing to about 1715 when sunspots became exceedingly rare, as noted by solar observers of the time." - Wiki.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
|
|
|
|
|
Oh, I thought the Maunder minimum was twice a day.
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Entropy isn't what it used to.
|
|
|
|
|
Rage wrote: Oh, I thought the Maunder minimum was twice a day.
Oh, the fun I could have with that.
Marc
|
|
|
|
|
Well done, im proud of myself as i got at least the Maunder
Finally someone else can give the NODDCCC
if(this.signature != "")
{
MessageBox.Show("This is my signature: " + Environment.NewLine + signature);
}
else
{
MessageBox.Show("404-Signature not found");
}
|
|
|
|
|
It was getting Maunder that gave me the rest...
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
|
|
|
|
|
Yes Mr. Griff that is of course 100% correct!
And unarmed is an anagram of Maunder. Thursday is all yours.
Life is too shor
|
|
|
|
|
After this 20 pence before Christmas[^] which followed hot on the heels of a previous 16 pence, I have today had a further 51 pence paid into my bank account.
For those who are not so hot at the maths that is a total of 87 pence paid to me in the last two months alone.
Searching my way to an early retirement*
*Assuming that by the time I get anywhere near retirement the UK economy will be in such a state the retirement age will have been raised to around 140 years of age.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
|
|
|
|
|
chriselst wrote: *Assuming that by the time I get anywhere near retirement the UK economy will be in such a state the retirement age will have been raised to around 140 years of age.
Yoda said:
When 900 years old you reach, look as good you will not.
Geek code v 3.12
GCS d--- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L- E-- W++ N++ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5? X R++ tv-- b+ DI+++ D++ G e++>+++ h--- r++>+++ y+++*
Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
|
|
|
|
|
chriselst wrote: Searching my way to an early retirement*
Seems like togh business plans eh?
Try harder, and once you gain a 80 pence a month you should be able to start your new workfree life
if(this.signature != "")
{
MessageBox.Show("This is my signature: " + Environment.NewLine + signature);
}
else
{
MessageBox.Show("404-Signature not found");
}
|
|
|
|
|
...I bet you are seeing that Rolex slowly materializing in front of you...
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Entropy isn't what it used to.
|
|
|
|
|
A molecule at a time?
Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.
|
|
|
|
|
Stop gloating at us poor buggers who have to work for a living.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
|
|
|
|
|
You could probably buy a local politician for that.
|
|
|
|
|
OK, I've just downloaded and started installing the OneDrive app on a Weven machine, and I've reached a page that says "Fetch your files from anywhere".
This gives me the option to "Let me use OneDrive to fetch any of my files on this PC".
Now, hold on. I want this app to govern a single directory, the OneDrive directory, not to have access to every file on the machine.
Note that that means "I do not want Microsoft's cloud service to have access to every file on my computer."
But this option is a simple Boolean toggle -- to "Let me" or not "Let me". No huge grinding of discs happens if I change it, so there are no permission changes, or the like.
So Onedrive is using the permissions inherent in my log-in to the machine to give itself access to all files on the machine, and the only thing that changes if I tick or untick the "Let me" box is My permission to access my files!
Whether or not I am allowed to access my files on my machine, Microsoft's cloud services have access to every file on the device. This is probably also true of all the the files on my phone and tablets.
Now, I know that Microsoft is a big US corporation, so is therefore completely trustworthy and has only my best interests at heart, but I think it likely that I will be removing OneDrive from every device I own.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
|
|
|
|
|
Time ago someone here recommended me to use BitTorrentSync, I've used it for several purposes and it works very well, the idea of that software is that you spread your files across multiple devices (all yours usually) and no cloud is involved... Dunno if you already knew it, but if not it's worth taking a look into it.
|
|
|
|
|
Joan Murt wrote: Dunno if you already knew it I'd heard of it, but didn't realise it was quite so useful. Nice one.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
|
|
|
|
|
Weird, my OneDrive installation only works from a root OneDrive folder. Anything outside of that shouldn't be included AFAIK?
EDIT: I'll point out that all my Windows machines are Windows 8.1 so OneDrive was already pre-installed as part of the OS, so I didn't get taken through a bunch of configuration screens
How do you know so much about swallows? Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.
modified 31-Aug-21 21:01pm.
|
|
|
|