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I am glad you have found a non-offensive way to present the joke.
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If somebody could tell me a fool-proof way of identifying a lawyer from a distance, I'd oil the hinges on my car door.
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I'm an optoholic - my glass is always half full of vodka.
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The Fin on their back and the big rows of teeth.
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Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur .
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That's a very sharkist comment!
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I'm an optoholic - my glass is always half full of vodka.
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Oh Cod! Here we go again...
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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What's the difference between a shark and a traffic warden?
One's a fearsome creature that attacks at random, draining your life blood, and the other's a shark!
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I'm an optoholic - my glass is always half full of vodka.
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For "Lawyer" read "Traffic Warden"... 
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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They don't exist any more - they have been replaced by the even more dreaded "Civil Enforcement Officer"
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I'm an optoholic - my glass is always half full of vodka.
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They have advantages: they have a single blue line on the hat / baseball cap, rather than two yellow lines.
This means you are allowed to park on their heads...
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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But only during the period noted on the signage!
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Ah no - it's always open season! 
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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yeah, even lawyers are gonna shrug and nod at that.
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Are disappointing.
Despite being the subject of a court case supposedly involving a giant biscuit cake to show they are not liable to VAT, and specialist monitoring systems[^] being built to check they are OK on the production line (which is over a mile long), they are very disappointing to eat.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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Depends on which ones you buy: the McVities ones are indeed pretty poor these days: so-so sponge, tasteless "orangey bit" and little chocolate.
The Lyons ones are much better for "orangeyness" and good chocolate thickness, but a dry sponge; while the Tesco version is ok sponge, good "orangeyness" but spray paint chocolate to ensure an even one molecule thickness...
None of them dunk well.
I quite like these: Asda Milk Chocolate Oatie Crumbles[^] - despite being milk chocolate rather than plain, they are similar to McVities milk chocolate hobnobs[^] but better. Can't eat many at a time though - which is a bonus!
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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Quote: Depends on which ones you buy
NO! If you don't like Jaffa cakes there is something wrong with you, so I'd recommend a visit to a doctor. Preferably a proctologist, as your tastebuds is full of sh*te.
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Oh, I got to remember that one. 
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Pretend to be a flower.
Go pollinate yourself.
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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LOL - Very elegantly put! 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Won't that be inbreeding? 
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Not stolen, recycled!
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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Nah, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
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Imitation without attribution is plagiarism 
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They have to be fresh - they go stale very quickly. Fresh, you jam them into your mouth, as many at one time as you can, take a sip of tea or coffee and enjoy.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair.
Those who seek perfection will only find imperfection
nils illegitimus carborundum
me, me, me
me, in pictures
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Got a problem in Crystal Report (requested by the user), search for the problem, trying everything I could find, and at the end of the day, my boss will say that it's okay if it won't be done?! Nice..
I'll just go home and have a good night sleep.
Don't mind those people who say you're not HOT. At least you know you're COOL.
I'm not afraid of falling, I'm afraid of the sudden stop at the end of the fall! - Richard Andrew x64
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