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An Irish Sunday School Teacher was testing children in her Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven.
She asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?"
"NO!" the children answered.
"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?"
Again, the answer was "NO!"
"If I gave sweets to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?"
Again, they all answered "NO!"
The teacher was just bursting with pride for them. She continued, "Then how can I get into heaven?"
A little boy shouted, "YOU'VE GOTTA BE DEAD!"
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So the previous post about Dem Bones reminds me, a lot of classics appear to be getting "simplified"
For example, Clementine used to be
... Thou art lost and gone forever,
Dreadful sorrow Clementine
,
but now it is
... You are lost and gone forever
Dreadful sorry Clementine
Loch Lomond has gone from
Oh, ye'll take the high road and I'll take the low road
And I'll be in Scotland afore ye
to
You'll take the high road and I'll take the low road
And I'll be in Scotland before you
What's up with all the stupidizing? Something to do with the modern education system?
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S u n s h i n e wrote: What's up with all the stupidizing?
:cough: :cough:
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Stupidificationment?
You'll never get very far if all you do is follow instructions.
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What's wrong with a little verbing occasionally?
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viaducting wrote: Verbing weirds enweirdenizes language.
FTFY!
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I stand corrected
This[^] is the correct term. Sounds like a regular day in the Lounge.
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Times change. Adapt or....get really, really frustrated that things change.
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She's thirteen, she's beautiful she's mine
becomes
I hear the train a comin' it's rollin 'round the bend
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A lot of it has to do with the loss of a letter from the Old English / Scottish alphabet: Thorn[^] - it looked like a 'Y' but was pronounced "th".
Scotish also lost the letter Zog (or Zogh) - which is why "Menzies" pronounced "Mingis" - languages evolve over time, and songs and so forth evolve with them, frequently becoming better or worse in the evolution.
For example, King Charles II described the newly built St Pauls Cathedral as "awful, pompous, and artificial" - the modern version would be "awe inspiring, full of pomp, and artfully designed".
There is however very little chance of a Bieber song evolving into something I'd want to listen to during this millennium.
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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OriginalGriff wrote: There is however very little chance of a Bieber song evolving into something I'd want to listen to during this millennium.
Though, ironically a high chance of someone describing him as "awful, pompous and artificial"
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Tending to one in fact, given that you just did! 
Myself, I'd use fruitier words.
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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OriginalGriff wrote: I'd use fruitier words.
That would be entirely appropriate, given the context. 
Will Rogers never met me.
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OriginalGriff wrote: A lot of it has to do with the loss of a letter...
OriginalGriff wrote: Scotish also lost the letter...
It's no wonder we forked your language a few centuries ago. You don't see us losing letters! 
Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master. ~ George Washington
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Mike Mullikin wrote: You don't see us losing letters!
Hah! Your southern states have already lost "g": "huntin'", "fishin'", "shootin'"...
And you have lost the letter "Zed" completely, replacing it with "Zee". Come now, you know the band should really be "Zed Zed Top" 
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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I like to correct the grammar; e.g. "This is the sound that doves make when they cry."
You'll never get very far if all you do is follow instructions.
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Last night I went with my family out to dinner. We went to a very popular Lebanese Restaurant in town; great food but no sign of the ladies in loafers.
We were almost finished when this guy comes over and starts talking to us. "Who the elephant are you?" was my first thought as he chatted away and "Hos do you know us?".
After several minutes it clicked. It was my brother. I swear on Bob's legacy, it took me about five minutes to realise I was talking to my own brother and to be brutally honest it was not until he mentioned his younger daughter's name that I actually clicked.
Now to put this in context, I last saw him just after Christmas so it is only 4 months or so. He has been very unwell, Brain Cancer [shocked us all, we never knew he even had a brain], and has undergone surgery, chemo and radio. He is totally bald, worse than my egg-shell blond, but what threw me was the fact his face is puffed up out of all recognition.
After he left to regoin his party, dear Mrs Wife asked who it was.
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Well, at least you could feign shock that she didn't recognise him... 
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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Unfortunately, I was so shocked at how he looked I couldn't be shocked, feigned or otherwise, at her not recognising him.
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Cancer. 
![Rose | [Rose]](https://codeproject.freetls.fastly.net/script/Forums/Images/rose.gif)
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Best wishes to you, Nagy's brother.
Yes, yes. I do know we can defeat illness but, unfortunately, we cannot deny family ties.
Veni, vidi, vici.
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Nagy Vilmos wrote: no sign of the ladies in loafers
I'm sure that means something to somebody, somewhere.
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It is a reference to the admittedly bad joke about confusing lesbian and Lebanon. You know women in comfortable shoes? When I heard about the dykes in Holland I was expecting to see women in comfortable shoes shouting "Get away from the water!" <super>[Robin Williams].
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Remind me again why we don't get many women around here...
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