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Abhinav S wrote: "You, you, and you.... Panic. The rest of you, come with me." - U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.
Heard all except this one before. Have an upvote for making me laugh. 
What is this talk of release? I do not release software. My software escapes leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.
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If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
The most dangerous thing on the battlefield is a lieutenant with a map.
Murphy's law of Combat
(as they are known to me).
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...an oxymoron??? 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience
Greg King
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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin, Actress
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Anyone in Florida interested in a V8 mustang GT? If so email me to discuss. To be honest I need to stop buying new cars. It's eating at my savings.
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So you have become a used car salesman. Do you have your jacket[^]?
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Too late. Just put a deposit on my own midlife-crisis-mobile as my wife calls it.
Cars really are a waste of money .. but a fun one.
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There's no such thing as a V6 GT. If that's thew way your ad reads, maybe that's why nobody's buying it.
BTW, what year is it?
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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Non car people may not know what GT means, but there is a strong association with V8.
2012 I ordered it from the factory and got it October 2012. Never really liked it though. Not that it is a bad car but it wasn't what I wanted apparently. Found my next car an I am trying to sell this one while under warranty so potential buyers don't have to worry about a leaking block (not that there is one but you know what I mean)
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I loved my Mustang (even if it was just a V6, but it was the fun 5 speed). I'd love to have a V8 5 or 6 speed but snow means I have to keep my truck, and a baby on the way means no toys 
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What happened the first time you tried to sell the car?
My first car was a 1967 Mustang, and I'd love to have it back. But sometime in the late '70s they stopped making "real" Mustangs and released this scrawny, underpowered POS with the Mustang name and much improved mileage; I wouldn't have one as a gift. It wouldn't be worth paying the Gift Tax to have it in the driveway.
Will Rogers never met me.
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Tools/Supplies Required:
(1) 4-Wheeler
(2) 2"x6"x8' Lumber
(4) 2"x4"x8' Lumber
(1) Box of deck screws
(1) Tow rope
(1) Ea. Drill, Circular Saw
Step 1: Make a sled.
Of course this is done in the front yard, and what man wears safety glasses? So an integral part of Step 1 while making the sled is to get as much saw dust in the eyes as possible. When finished spend at least 5 minutes marveling at the engineering.
Step 2: Break the sled.
While trying to "slide" the hot-tub onto the sled, you need to snap at least one of the supporting structures. As many expletives need to be shouted as you walk around the house to get another 2x4 to repair the sled. Bless your foresight for not using the 16-D nails instead of deck screws.
Step 3: Get hot tub on sled.
This requires pulling at least one muscle in your back and possibly cracking a rib (hot tub weighs 700lbs empty, and its not completely empty). After man-handling this thing onto the sled and sweating like an eskimo in the jungle, you realize the sled is backwards (you made cut-outs in the front so it would not dig up the lawn).
Step 4: Dig up the lawn.
Well since you have to pull the sled backwards for 40 feet or so, make a (4) 2" wide trenches in the lawn.
Step 5: Slam the 4-wheeler into the house.
Pulling the sled to the new location requires you to get very close to the house with the 4-wheeler. Since the new location is next to a hill, you have to pull it all the way up to the house. Watch the hot tub as you pull forward, not where you are going.
Step 6: Blow a lung
Somehow the hot tub became twice as heavy in the move, so strain the rest of the muscles in your back and legs.
And now the worst one of all, I moved the hot tub because I bought a new one, and its much, much bigger than the old one. I get to move that one next weekend and the challenge of putting it on a platform first. Why by myself? Wife is pregnant and most of my friends live an hour away (and have kids). At least I get to sit on my ass for a living so I can recover 
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Alternative #1: In the UK, you can hire a Forklift from just £39 per week...
This message is manufactured from fully recyclable noughts and ones. To recycle this message, please separate into two tidy piles, and take them to your nearest local recycling centre.
Please note that in some areas noughts are always replaced with zeros by law, and many facilities cannot recycle zeroes - in this case, please bury them in your back garden and water frequently.
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How much do they charge when it sinks in my "very close to the water table" yard?
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If the sled didn't sink it shouldn't be a problem - and if it is just use sheets of wood to spread the load. You can always drive the forklift onto a sheet, then move the one it drove off, and repeat.
But if your yard is that close to the water table, why not just dig a hole, and heat that?
This message is manufactured from fully recyclable noughts and ones. To recycle this message, please separate into two tidy piles, and take them to your nearest local recycling centre.
Please note that in some areas noughts are always replaced with zeros by law, and many facilities cannot recycle zeroes - in this case, please bury them in your back garden and water frequently.
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Quote: But if your yard is that close to the water table, why not just dig a hole, and heat that? Laugh |
Brilliant!
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He wants to lift a Tub not a fork. 
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I'm assuming it's a very heavy fork!
This message is manufactured from fully recyclable noughts and ones. To recycle this message, please separate into two tidy piles, and take them to your nearest local recycling centre.
Please note that in some areas noughts are always replaced with zeros by law, and many facilities cannot recycle zeroes - in this case, please bury them in your back garden and water frequently.
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First mistake was not engineering the existing platform for transport. If it’s not over engineered, it wasn't engineered at all. Esp. a hot tub, I hear those buggers are heavy. 
Common sense is admitting there is cause and effect and that you can exert some control over what you understand.
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You forgot
Step 0: Drain the hot tub. (Would have been seriously lighter...) 
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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I drained it, blew out the tubes as best I could, but its almost impossible to get it all out, probably had about 10 gallons in various piping and pumps. Doesn't seem like much, but water weighs around 8lb/gal 
[Edit]
Would never have been able to move a full hot tub, even if I could it would probably crack the fiberglass structure. Full, the hot tub weighs around 4400lbs (450 gallons of water + 700lbs structure).
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I believe it was meant as a joke. Of course the joke icon could mean something else to you. 
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Eh, don't even look at the icons.
But if I had the tools to move it full I probably would  Its really a PITA to fill back up!
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For removing an old tub my solution would have required:
(1) chainsaw
Step 1: Cut tub, nearby house siding, and possibly legs.
Step 2: haul away small tub pieces.
Step 3: repeat step 2 as necessary.
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Alternatives to moving it:
0) Bury it in-place.
1) Fill it with concrete and mount a .50 machine gun on it.
2) Build an attractive teak cover over it and decorate to taste
3) Build a gazebo over it
4) Convert it to a largish fish sanctuary.
5) Convert it into a fountain
6) Ignore it and let the weather have it.
Notice that none of these suggestions requires you to actually move it.
When you install your new one, make sure you put it closeto the driveway so you don't have to move it very far when you tire of it.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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