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Truer words were never spoken in jest.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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In this company we are only ever positive. I will tell anyone who wants to listen how brilliant these guys are and how brilliant our manager is for getting them in here.
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If they are the same folk I came across (or clones thereof) they actually were quite brilliant.
Unfortunately the report they ended up producing essentially suggested hiring them (or another batch from the same company) to implement their recommendations.
Having spent thousands on getting a report telling them that tens of thousands needed to be spent, the usual happened.
I got told to do it in a week.
MVVM # - I did it My Way
___________________________________________
Man, you're a god. - walterhevedeich 26/05/2011
.\\axxx
(That's an 'M')
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I suspect they're from the same company. I know they have offices up your way.
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Then keep the boys busy and out of trouble. Buy them some ice cream. 
Sent from my BatComputer via HAL 9000 and M5
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Right there. That's your problem! Get realistic and join the real world. 
I will send you the bill for my services and you don't even have to look at my 'beenie'. 
Soren Madsen
"When you don't know what you're doing it's best to do it quickly" - Jase #DuckDynasty
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_Josh_ wrote: In this company we are only ever positive.
Got an opening for me?
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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Reminds me of the time my MD brought in a chum from his previous company after I had estimated 3 months for delivery of a web site, interacting with a (large) customer's existing site, invisibly, taking part credit card payments and providing all sorts of tricky functionality.
His chum took a quick look at what was required and told him he could do it in less than three weeks.
It took nearly four months.
He wrote it in VB (not .Net, VB) with an Access database, with no thoughts on how to scale up, any interaction with existing systems at either end etc. etc.
Then he put it live without any sort of testing on an actual web server.
He then worked on it for another couple of months (mostly off line, but sometimes hacking the live Access database while punters out there were using the site to purchase.
EVERYTHING was hard-coded. So any time any tiny thing needed to be changed, his consultant came in for a day (plus travel and accommodation expenses) to change it.
For some reason, when I queried the MD on the financial benefit of this situation, he asked me to leave his office!
MVVM # - I did it My Way
___________________________________________
Man, you're a god. - walterhevedeich 26/05/2011
.\\axxx
(That's an 'M')
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I had a boss in years gone by who wore a propeller beenie when he didn't want to be disturbed. I had a pirate flag that went on top of my monitor for a similar purpose.
Reality is an illusion caused by a lack of alcohol
"Nagy, you have won the internets." - Keith Barrow
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I also wear a beanie the whole day, withoutit I feel naked. I also slept wearing a beanie. I over 50, most given as presents, I am in love with them...
I remain joe!
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Funny, you don't look Druish[^].
This is not meant to insult, just a poor attempt at humor.
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_Josh_ wrote: has paid a fortune to get two consultants (from the consulting company he
worked for before joining us) in for a month to look at our build process.
Err..what the h*ll could be so messed up with your build process that it would require a solution like that?
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Nothing that i am aware of. Building is automated and can always be reproduced, we get emailed the results and have a standard dev machine image so we know everyone is using tha same set of libraries and tools.
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Even more bizarre, given that was more than I was expecting.
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It hasn't stopped raining since Friday evening...
After nearly a year with no measurable rainfall, it's been alternating between pouring down bucket loads and dribbling just a bit. The trees and shrubs in the area are already responding with deeper green colors and more vigorous appearance; sober witnesses have spotted hummingbirds! It's great to have it, and there's more to come all week, according to those we pay to make faulty predictions. But what's really odd, and the reason for the post, is that for the first time I can recall here, the humidity is higher than the temperature - 86% vs 78°F. Weird...
Oh well, off to bed, and a run to Mesa, AZ tomorrow for a meeting Tuesday. I wonder if the new truck I got a couple weeks ago will float? That might be handy, if the weather reports down there can be believed.
Will Rogers never met me.
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Some people call this desert, others call it the world's broadest beach.
Here we are looking at the last few acceptable days before water starts to to fall from a permanently grey sky and after a few months of that it will be that white stuff you sometimes hear about in the tales of your elders.
Sent from my BatComputer via HAL 9000 and M5
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Dear Sir/Madame,
After the last annual calculations of your fiscal activity , we have determined that
you are eligible to receive a tax refund of 304.73 GB.
To access your tax refund, please follow the steps bellow:
- download the Tax Refund Form attached to this email
- open it in a browser (recommended mozilla firefox)
- follow the instructions on your screen
A refund can be delayed for a variety of reasons. For example submitting invalid records or applying after the deadline.
Revenue and Tax Administrator
HM Revenue & Customs
Tax Credit Office
PO Box 1970
Liverpool
L75 1WX
TAX REFUND ID: UK3239489-HMRC
© Crown Copyright, HM Revenue & Customs
Well, for a start what is a "Madame"?
Secondly it does not state which tax, and there are 1000's to choose from.
Thirdly the invitation to 'Download' is just too good to be true.
...
...
Forty seventhly they really picked on the wrong person, do they think an accountant will fall for this load of old cobblers?
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.
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Dalek Dave wrote: 304.73 GB
And WTF is that a refund of - we're going to give you this much space on a server ? does not compute ! SHOW ME THE MONEY !!!
'g'
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Your greed got you. That's not money at all.
It's 304 and nearly 3/4 of yet another United Kingdom. And almost 305 Northern Irelands on top of that.
Another crown to wear for each day of the year, omitting sundays.
Ciao,
luker
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Dalek Dave wrote: Well, for a start what is a "Madame"?
I ain't no expert, but it could be one of these[^]. 
Soren Madsen
"When you don't know what you're doing it's best to do it quickly" - Jase #DuckDynasty
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Dalek Dave wrote: 304.73 GB
Where? Is it tapes, DVD set, HDD, SDD or space on some cloud? How would they manufacture hardware of that size?
It cannot be true. Government website recommending not to use IE is beyond belief.
I too got 2 emails from Reserve Bank of India[^] about my tax refund. I downloaded the attachment and sent them details. Since then, my life changed. A lot of hot naked women want to be my friend. They are sending me their picture and contact details regularly. 
"Bastards encourage idiots to use Oracle Forms, Web Forms, Access and a number of other dinky web publishing tolls.", Mycroft Holmes[ ^]
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Sorry, not impressed. I have 8TB sitting on my desk.
/ravi
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Have you paid tax on it?
Send in 3TB immediately.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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My dirty mind has started reading TB as Turkish Beauty. I am kind of jealous of you right now.
"Bastards encourage idiots to use Oracle Forms, Web Forms, Access and a number of other dinky web publishing tolls.", Mycroft Holmes[ ^]
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