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In other vague, inane and utterly pointless narcissistic news:
I've managed to get food poisoning from a week old pastry. What can I say? I was hungry and unlucky!
My wife has relented on the purchase of new highly impractical car she can't drive (variegate punishments to be enforced later), however I forgot I suffer from a disease known as Imacheapbastarditis, a terrible affliction which leaves one with a hatred of spending money and healthy investments. The usual treatment is Wifox, which can drain a bank account faster than Mr. W.E.Coyote is pounded in to the ground by a falling anvil. Obviously in this case it's not effective.
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If you cannot eat week old food without getting sick I have to wonder if you're in the right field.
A programmer's gut should be second only to a buzzard's gut.
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I am not eating at your place.
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Food old enough can often be drunk.
Be excellent to each other. And... PARTY ON, DUDES!
Abraham Lincoln
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Jörgen Andersson wrote: FoodFools old enough can often be drunk.
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*looks up from under the desk*
Hey look, I found some pizza!
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"Found a peanut!"
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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Only a week old? That is quite unlucky unless you have a weak gut.
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Or it was a meat-pie type pastry...in the sun...for a week... 
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... with the USCIS in 3 weeks where I get to demonstrate a superior understanding of US history than my American born wife (sic). If they like me I guess I'll have to change my name to MidwestYankeeLimey.
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Given the thread directly below this one, I thought I was going to have to be nice to you.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Good luck and remember that the trick questions are about football and rounders.
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If you've watched lots of films you should be OK.
The Enigma machine was captured by the Americans during WWII, which was a war fought solely between America and Germany for example.
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I could have sworn it was the Polish ... thanks for setting me right!
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PB 369,783 wrote: a war fought solely between America and Germany the forces of Evil and Terr'ism for example
FTFY - most Americans couldn't find Germany on a map.
Of Germany. 
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That's why they came in late, twice! Somebody had to show them the way and give directions.
If there is one thing more dangerous than getting between a bear and her cubs it's getting between my wife and her chocolate.
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Little known fact: when Patton arrived in Casablanca he was actually supposed to invade Hamburg 
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Is this real history, or history as seen by Americans? If the later it's pretty easy: they won every war, single handedly (except those where the main character paints his face blue), and invented everything. Elvis isn't dead, aliens have a curious interest in Americans nether regions, guns are your salvation and the NSA stands for God, Moms Apple Pie and the American Way (and anyone who says different is a pinko liberal terr'rist).
Good luck! 
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OriginalGriff wrote: they won every war
For the record, we have won just about every war we have been in. 
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde
Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
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Oh? Vietnam? Korea?
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Colin Mullikin wrote: just about
As far as Korea is concerned, it wasn't a win, but it wasn't a loss either. The end result didn't really change much territorially. The only substantial result was the loss of money and lives.
Vietnam, on the other hand, was a massive debacle. It was a war we shouldn't have been involved in in the first place, and then once we did enter it, it was handled terribly. I will admit, this is our only loss in a major* war.
*Note: I include major because someone will probably come up with some minor battle to dispute my claim.
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde
Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
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OriginalGriff wrote: NSA stands for God, Moms Apple Pie and the American Way (and anyone who says
different is a pinko liberal terr'rist)
Your obviously not American. Liberals and the NSA paint people who believe in God for their salvation, own guns, or have conservative values as the terrorist.
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Best of luck. Put on a posh accent and you should be fine.
If there is one thing more dangerous than getting between a bear and her cubs it's getting between my wife and her chocolate.
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You can practice here: Naturalization Self Test[^].
They're pretty easy and you won't be bothered with the English test once he hears your accent, apparently. 
Addendum: California are trying to pass a law that would allow LPRs to serve on a jury so as to widen the pool, a good idea in my opinion since LPRs are usually highly invested in the community so the answer to at least one of the questions may have to change!
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair.
Those who seek perfection will only find imperfection
nils illegitimus carborundum
me, me, me
me, in pictures
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