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Buy the real, physical book, to keep on the shelf, and download a ripped e-book copy to read. The kids who do the ripping often do a better job than the pros.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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http://me.veekun.com/blog/2012/04/09/php-a-fractal-of-bad-design/[^]
A small excerpt from the start; the ~15 following screens (@2560x1600) itemize the WTFs.
An analogy
I just blurted this out to Mel to explain my frustration and she insisted that I reproduce it here.
I can’t even say what’s wrong with PHP, because— okay. Imagine you have uh, a toolbox. A set of tools. Looks okay, standard stuff in there.
You pull out a screwdriver, and you see it’s one of those weird tri-headed things. Okay, well, that’s not very useful to you, but you guess it comes in handy sometimes.
You pull out the hammer, but to your dismay, it has the claw part on both sides. Still serviceable though, I mean, you can hit nails with the middle of the head holding it sideways.
You pull out the pliers, but they don’t have those serrated surfaces; it’s flat and smooth. That’s less useful, but it still turns bolts well enough, so whatever.
And on you go. Everything in the box is kind of weird and quirky, but maybe not enough to make it completely worthless. And there’s no clear problem with the set as a whole; it still has all the tools.
Now imagine you meet millions of carpenters using this toolbox who tell you “well hey what’s the problem with these tools? They’re all I’ve ever used and they work fine!” And the carpenters show you the houses they’ve built, where every room is a pentagon and the roof is upside-down. And you knock on the front door and it just collapses inwards and they all yell at you for breaking their door.
That’s what’s wrong with PHP.
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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have a 5 for hating on PHP (Pretty Horrid Programming) I too dislike PHP and everyone who has touched it by choice.
I also hate Apple and its cartel partners 
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Looks like you offended the PHP gods!
Repent! Lest you be down voted out of existence!
(Just kidding. I think PHP can go to Hades!!)
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All of the books in the world contain no more information than is broadcast as video in a single large American city in a single year. Not all bits have equal value.
Carl Sagan
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A 1 vote from a PHPer is as good as a 5 from a proper developer
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Did you see this[^]??
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All of the books in the world contain no more information than is broadcast as video in a single large American city in a single year. Not all bits have equal value.
Carl Sagan
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Nope.
Todays insider never reached my inbox (again), so it doesn't exist.
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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I had a spell of non-delivery recently and eventually found that the last site update had cleared all my selections on the Newsletters page of My Settings. Worth having a look, if you still want The Insider.
Henry Minute
Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?"
“I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.”
I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus!
When you're wrestling a gorilla, you don't stop when you're tired, you stop when the gorilla is.
Cogito ergo thumb - Sucking my thumb helps me to think.
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I've been having them randomly fail to arrive for the last several years; I've complained in suggestions/bugs a few times but nothing was ever fixed. Todays arrived normally.
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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That analogy probably works on just about every language. 
Chris Meech
I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar]
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra]
posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]
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I do like the flexibility of PHP and the integration and simplicity of the PHP/mySQL web solution (not to mention its ubiquity on cheap hosts). But the language itself is fairly bad.
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....... that for the price they charge for their software they could afford to get someone better than the intern to code their free stuff[^].
Henry Minute
Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?"
“I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.”
I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus!
When you're wrestling a gorilla, you don't stop when you're tired, you stop when the gorilla is.
Cogito ergo thumb - Sucking my thumb helps me to think.
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I feel that Adobe is unquestionably the bane of software.
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How is that worse than Microsoft hiring experts to code the expensive stuff, which is also prone to being hacked? 
Will Rogers never met me.
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But we like Microsoft and we don’t like Adobe, so please show some decency and keep with the rules.
There is only one Vera Farmiga and Salma Hayek is her prophet!
Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.
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Just go to the Reader X help menu, click “ About Adobe Reader X” , then the button “credits”. You will be amused how many engineers are working on that questionable(least said) software.
There is only one Vera Farmiga and Salma Hayek is her prophet!
Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.
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No worries. They'll have an update tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after, and...
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When has Adobe ever cared?
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Especially since in the first week of Beta release of Photoshop CS5 they had 500K downloads. I think they'll do OK!
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One of the worst things that ever happened in computing was the pdf.
Try using TIFF, instead. In principle, pdf and TIFF are the same thing, but moving from pdf to TIFF is like going from the monkey cage to the 19th hole.
The only problem is that adobe bought out Aldus (to kill the superior competition, obviously), so if more people start using TIFF, they'll start adding all the worthless "features" that make pdf so bloated and useless.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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I was just going to post that link. 
If they're not very careful an onlooker is likely to have a heart attack or become a crime fighting vigilante.
Henry Minute
Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?"
“I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.”
I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus!
When you're wrestling a gorilla, you don't stop when you're tired, you stop when the gorilla is.
Cogito ergo thumb - Sucking my thumb helps me to think.
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Henry Minute wrote: a crime fighting vigilante.
Going completely off topic, but that comment has just reminded me of an incident at the weekend.
I've been away with my wife and child to Sidmouth for a few days. Friends own a guest house down there, I've done them a website[^] and get paid with free board for a few days now and then.
One night we went out to the pub to watch her brother[^] play.
About half 8 my wife, child and I returned leaving him and her, along with her brother and his missus, and another sister in the pub.
We heard them returning long after last orders.
Now she has problems with her legs from diabetes, had a toe off recently, and goes around on a mobility scooter, especially when pissed.
The rest of them are old and missing various bits.
The next morning they were hanging, and told the following tale;
On the way back, she had raced off ahead on the mobility scooter. She came across a youngish lad being aggressive towards a girl. So she steams over on yells at him to stop being a prat (or words to that effect).
A little taken aback by being accosted by a geriatric crime fighter on a mobility scooter the lad is even more put out when the rest of the gang turn up. Offering to take them all on.
At this point my mate who is old, tall, and respectably portly with a thick West Country accent decides for some reason to break out the Kung Fu. He cannot, of course, do any Kung Fu but is prancing about the street legs and arms going everywhere.
At around this time the lad quite sensibly decided his life was a little too weird that night and went on his way.
I've suggested that if she is to roam the dark streets of Sidmouth fighting crime on her mobility scooter then she should get a cape and mask to protect her identity.
Can't see it inspiring a film anytime soon.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
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