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Buddha says that if a monkey lives a good life he will come back as a woman, and if a woman lives a good life she will come back as a man.
So Buddhism is very clear about this...
A woman is either a successful monkey or failed man.
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I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
CCC Link[ ^]
Trolls[ ^]
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The historical person, born Siddhartha, Prince of a Sakya clan, who left wife, family, and royal lineage, to become a yogi, and then, perhaps, had some transformative experience in meditating deeply, after realizing that asceticism was a "dead end," following which he changed his named to "Gautama," or asked people to refer to him as "Tathagata" ("one who went beyond"), and went on to spend the next forty-five years of his life wandering, espousing a certain metaphysical credo, which is not "deistic," and which was always connected to a specific, and simple, meditation practice, and developing a vast code of rules for behavior, moral presecriptions, codes of interaction, etc., for Monks and Nuns living together (the Vinaya) ...
Did not speak of re-incarnation, or any"after-death" state: this is nowhere better illustrated than in the dialog with Malunkyaputta : See page 27-30 : from the book "What the Buddha Really Taught" by Walpole Rahula[^].
In one specific episode Gautama severely criticized a Monk who was "showing off" some kind of supernatural powers.
All that jazz about reincarnation, and karma, was added on later in India, and later China, Tibet, Japan where Gautama the Buddha, was deified, became an "object of worship," and his original teachings overlayed by the wholesale re-writing (in India) of Tantric texts, where the name "Buddha," was substituted for "Shiva."
And, this further elaboration, and obscuring of the original messenger, and teachings, developed highly the idea of the "Boddhisattva:" one who could be "enlightened," but swore not to until all other "sentient beings" were "enlightened."
In Tibet, the Tantric Buddhism, emphasizing magical powers (siddhis) and rituals, introduced by Padma Sambhava in the 8th. century CE, was fused with an existing ancient typical north-west Asian shamanic religion, Bon, which emphasized ecstatic trance, prophecy, and brought in countless species of "peaceful," and "wrathful" deities and sub-deities.
In China the full "efflorescence" of Mahayana Buddhism incorporated a whole host of "secondary Buddhas," the Dhyana Buddhas, "Bodhisattvas" all, who, it was believed had the power to intercede, or be propitated.
Incorporating ancient Vedic ideas that "male gods" were abstract, and needed a "shakti," a female version to manifest on any non-abstract "plane," you thus find that the Kwan Im, or Kwannon, Or Kwan Yin, usually styled the "Goddess of Mercy," is the female manifestation of the principal Dhyana Buddha, Avalokitesvara.
And so it went, and so it goes.
But, to find what may be the "residue" of the original teachings: get Rahula's book.
To understand the overlaying of Vedic and Hindu, and Tantric influeces on those original teachings to the point they were "submerged" in a "deistic" cult: the single best over-view I know of is by Donald Lopez:[^].
Lopez is a professor of Buddhist studies at the University of Michigan, has worked as an interpreter for the Dalai Lama, and is fearlessly unafraid to address controversial issues in Mahayana Buddhism, such as the institutionalized denigration of women.
And, if you think, Tibet was a "Shangri-La:" try this:[^].
For what it's worth, I really like and respect the Dalai Lama, and consider him, indeed, a spiritual person: an example of how a man, or a woman, re-creates an authentic religion, perhaps in spite of its ancient cobwebs, and countless veneers of overlays of gratuitous metaphysics.
The fact that the Dalai Lama gets up at 4am every morning, and as part of his meditation process, imagines his own slow death: well, fine; that's really not "morbid" in our western cultural sense of that word: it is part of a focus on "life in the shadow of death:" that hopefully leads to more compassion, equanimity, freedom from desire, and ... happiness in the deepest sense of that word.
best, Bill
"Our life is a faint tracing on the surface of mystery, like the idle, curved tunnels of leaf miners on the surface of a leaf. We must somehow take a wider view, look at the whole landscape, really see it, and describe what's going on here. Then we can at least wail the right question into the swaddling band of darkness, or, if it comes to that, choir the proper praise." Annie Dillard
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That is one hell of an abrogative repudiation of my post.
My response is somewhat more concise, or indeed, terse...
It was only a gag!
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I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
CCC Link[ ^]
Trolls[ ^]
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Oh, Frater Dave, Magister Vocabularius, let me assure Thee that my intention was not in any way to contradict, or "abrogate" (lovely word), your post !
"Repudiation:" that's what I see when I look in the mirror.
My post was only an un-gagging (ungaga ?) of my own loose tongue. When the waxing moon is between about 50-60%, of full, as it is now, I sometimes feel compelled to go on ... and on.
ave atque vale, Billious the Scribbler
"Our life is a faint tracing on the surface of mystery, like the idle, curved tunnels of leaf miners on the surface of a leaf. We must somehow take a wider view, look at the whole landscape, really see it, and describe what's going on here. Then we can at least wail the right question into the swaddling band of darkness, or, if it comes to that, choir the proper praise." Annie Dillard
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Dalek Dave wrote: Buddha says
Present tense? You have him on speed dial?
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I hope this isn't a repost, but I haven't really been on CP much of late, and I don't feel like going back to look for it...
A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.
At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."
"I have a better idea," she replied, "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."
"Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.
"Good," she replied, "Get your own damn blanket."
After a moment of silence, ......... he farted.
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde
Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
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this does look pretty awesome.... here's hoping it's a PG and I can go with my kids!
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Can someone with the right access look this up for me.
Nish said last night that I had been banned from Code Project twice in one day (Code Project Legend or what!), but I received 3 seperate emails on Sunday to tell me my account had been banned.
Does that mean I was banned 3 seperate times in the one day making even more Legendary?
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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Just checking my emails now ans I see my account was deactivated again yesterday morning, woohoo, Legendarier.
Thank you Mister Microscopic Penis for the 1 vote without comment. Give your little balls a rub and come back and give me a reason why I get the 1, I don't care if all you have to say is I'm a c***, I'm big enought to handle that.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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Michael Martin wrote: Legendarier
Looks like a typo to me. It's spelled: Legendarriere. 
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AspDotNetDev wrote: Legendarriere.
That sounds to me like a Legends arse.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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Kind of. From what I hear, you are a legendary arse. 
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AspDotNetDev wrote: Kind of. From what I hear, you are a legendary arse.
The most Legendariest of them all.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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i didn't univote you - but you're a C%$#.
Just felt like i should tell you that 
Bryce
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bryce wrote: i didn't univote you - but you're a C%$#.
Just felt like i should tell you that
Thanks for your reply, but we are only taking responses to the original post at this time.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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got a fiver on that comment
Alberto Bar-Noy
---------------
“The city’s central computer told you? R2D2, you know better than to trust a strange computer!”
(C3PO)
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Do you see them? 
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Mladen Jankovic wrote: Do you see them?
No, just the pink elephant.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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Then there was the elephant who drank so much he saw pink people!!
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_Damian S_ wrote: Then there was the elephant who drank so much he saw pink people!!
So what you're saying is the Elephants can see me too.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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I think the idea of auto banning sucks, but this looks to me like you're trying to poke a lion with a stick. Also, when did the kid sister rule stop applying to lounge posts ? All I see is swearing and dirty jokes.
Christian Graus
Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista.
Read my blog to find out how I've worked around bugs in Microsoft tools and frameworks.
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Christian Graus wrote: I think the idea of auto banning sucks, but this looks to me like you're trying to poke a lion with a stick. Also, when did the kid sister rule stop applying to lounge posts ? All I see is swearing and dirty jokes.
Well you've known me since we first met face to face back in about 2000, so you know I'm going to poking and pissing people off, it's what I do. I don't think this time I have the luxury of a stick, it's me, my finger and the lion.
I think it still mentions Kid Sister and PG at the top of the forum, I don't read as much as I used too, but I don't think there is as much swearing as you say and the dirty jokes are mostly innuendo and not fully graphic.
Now if only I'd used the elephant with innuendo and didn't explicitly say rape, I'd probably be OK. Petty sad that the rest of the world can't see the ridiculousness of the suggested elephant having sex with a human.
Anyway, I'm off to paint my face black and play the banjo for a bit.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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Michael Martin wrote: play the banjo for a bit
He lives so far out of town that his ebay purchases come with free Deliverance...
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_Damian S_ wrote: He lives so far out of town that his ebay purchases come with free Deliverance...
Got that movie on DVD, I love it, need to get it on Bluray. Watched it with my son last year, he was a little too busy pulling apart the technical filming errors for mine. Should have been tearing apart the stunts more than anything.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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