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To be fair, I didn't search for Dubya.[^] 
Henry Minute
Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain
Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?"
“I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.”
I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus!
When you're wrestling a gorilla, you don't stop when you're tired, you stop when the gorilla is.
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Not really, it just kind of compounded with it and made me nauseous. But I finished the first one, and it went really well, so that helps.
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You carried a 6-bit palette with you? Guess 24-bit would be a little heavy.
Somebody in an online forum wrote: INTJs never really joke. They make a point. The joke is just a gift wrapper.
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 I'm going to have to start using that site more.
Somebody in an online forum wrote: INTJs never really joke. They make a point. The joke is just a gift wrapper.
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I saw that the cargo capacity of a 747 is "105 sh tn" and thought it meant "sh*t ton".
Somebody in an online forum wrote: INTJs never really joke. They make a point. The joke is just a gift wrapper.
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lewax00 wrote: ...my tire came off the rim and is now angled about 45 degrees.
Better than being angled at 90 degrees. 
"One man's wage rise is another man's price increase." - Harold Wilson
"Fireproof doesn't mean the fire will never come. It means when the fire comes that you will be able to withstand it." - Michael Simmons
"Show me a community that obeys the Ten Commandments and I'll show you a less crowded prison system." - Anonymous
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Sometimes, as a developer it possible to have a wrong line of thought before you later realize it. I was discussing with a friend and he asked me, "Sunny, how can i INHERIT eternal battery life?" and I replied him, sorry I've never heard of such class library or any related DLL, is it a third party DLL? It took me while before realizing that my friend was actually referring to his Phone whose battery is malfunctioning. As anyone shared in such experience like this as a developer?
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Sunny Oludayo Alli wrote: As anyone shared in such experience like this as a developer?
Yes but the incident is encapsulated.
Too much of heaven can bring you underground
Heaven can always turn around
Too much of heaven, our life is all hell bound
Heaven, the kill that makes no sound
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I asked a girl about her dating habits, and she said, "I've been single tons." I asked if I could "get her instance", then she bent over and pulled up her skirt. I then got access to one of her privates.
Somebody in an online forum wrote: INTJs never really joke. They make a point. The joke is just a gift wrapper.
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AspDotNetDev wrote: I then got access to one of her privates.
No you didn't. That was a *VERY* public member.
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at least who did not have to be friend with her!
Watched code never compiles.
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Was she using CamelCasing properly?
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Just along for the ride.
"the meat from that butcher is just the dogs danglies, absolutely amazing cuts of beef." - DaveAuld (2011)
"No, that is just the earthly manifestation of the Great God Retardon." - Nagy Vilmos (2011)
"It is the celestial scrotum of good luck!" - Nagy Vilmos (2011)
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AspDotNetDev wrote: then she bent over and pulled up her skirt. I then got access to one of her privates
As she bent over, the members must have been declared public or else you should have "Object reference not set to an instance of an object"
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+5 for wit !
If a lady I was enamored of told me she was a singleton, I think I'd ask: "can I be your one-and-only, then ?"
But, maybe, first, I'd ask: "are you really a singleton, or are you just really: being static ?"
Now, if she'd said she was, indeed, "static," I might inquire if she had a constructor, and if she said "yes," then I'd ask "what parameters do you require ?" If she said she had a constructor, but required no parameters, I'd politely say: "Sorry, but I cannot compile against thy framework."
And I might have asked: "Is that skirt you're wearing a struct?" : if she'd said, "yes:" then I would know that just by referencing the skirt: everything in it that's public is both initialized and exposed.
"For no man lives in the external truth among salts and acids, but in the warm, phantasmagoric chamber of his brain, with the painted windows and the storied wall." Robert Louis Stevenson
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Convert it to Christianity.
Ideological Purity is no substitute for being able to stick your thumb down a pipe to stop the water
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Can you please give me the "ChristianityConverter.dll"?
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You can download it from www.pope.com[^]
Ideological Purity is no substitute for being able to stick your thumb down a pipe to stop the water
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throw new NotImplementedException();
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Whenever I did something wrong, I just wished I could press Ctrl+Z and start over again 
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If you are writing an app that no one will see (other devs), do you still follow best practices i.e. creating classes, data access layers, blah, blah, blah? or, do you say f'it and write the app like a retard? i.e. putting all 5-8K lines of code in one form class and calling it a day.
I am being asked by a senior dev to do something that I feel is fundamentally wrong as a programmer but he is the "senior" dev and thus must be obeyed.
Just along for the ride.
"the meat from that butcher is just the dogs danglies, absolutely amazing cuts of beef." - DaveAuld (2011)
"No, that is just the earthly manifestation of the Great God Retardon." - Nagy Vilmos (2011)
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Tell him you're getting a woody, and he'll leave you alone. Trust me on this.
EDIT ==============
1-voted AGAIN! Geeze! And to think this isn't even the funniest thing I've posted today...
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
modified 12-Dec-11 12:19pm.
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Wasn me this time I swear. I put a five'r up due to funny, and would awesome to see the other persons face (and likely something I'd do strangely).
there should be a houserule of not encouraging the nocturnals.
My response would have been to fake crying really.
/////////////////
-Negative, I am a meat popsicle.
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Do you think telling him you have a nine-iron could have the same effect ?
best, Bill
"For no man lives in the external truth among salts and acids, but in the warm, phantasmagoric chamber of his brain, with the painted windows and the storied wall." Robert Louis Stevenson
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