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Soulus83 wrote: Henry Minute wrote: Shaggy Dog
You mean Scooby Doo right?
no, Scooby isn't Shaggy.
3x12=36
2x12=24
1x12=12
0x12=18
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Gotta read the article it wil make you laugh.man stabs marine and "falls off curb"
Yes its Photoshopped from the original article but its still funny as hell.
Programming is a race between programmers trying to build bigger and better idiot proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots, so far... the universe is winning.
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It's not totally true but still funny as poop!
Snopes[^]
The environment that nurtures creative programmers kills management and marketing types - and vice versa. - Orson Scott Card
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yeah I had actually looked up the original story. The marine was stabbed but the 4 marines held the guy for cops and he didn't actually have the accidental step off the curb. It would have been so righteous if he had though. Maybe that's why its so funny even though we know its not completely real.
Programming is a race between programmers trying to build bigger and better idiot proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots, so far... the universe is winning.
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Repost, but still funny.
Craigslist Troll: litaly@comcast.net
"I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. "
— Hunter S. Thompson
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Programming is a race between programmers trying to build bigger and better idiot proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots, so far... the universe is winning.
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Just wait until JSOP posts his long literary account of what happened, this should be good.
Craigslist Troll: litaly@comcast.net
"I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. "
— Hunter S. Thompson
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Sometimes life makes me smile.
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Ok, as many of you know I'm very new to this new career and am working at my first good job doing it. I have been working on an update to existing applications that were written by a self taught programmer. Now he wasn't bad but there are some issues with his style of coding that Ive had to work through. Add to that, he is no longer here or available. there are about 5 comments in 40,000 lines of code, and he seemed to like obscure names for variables, functions and whatnot. Its an ASP.net app that is full of javascript for things that could have been handled perfectly fine with c#'s built in items, and on the list goes.
As you can imagine, its been a tad bit of a headache figuring out what he intended with any particular piece of code.
My first major update went live and so far.. seems to be working as intended and did not break anything else. WHEW! ! looks like I get to keep my job for a bit longer yet
Not to mention it makes me feel a bit more like a real programmer to have successfully completed this update. Now on to the next one ! ! ! !
Programming is a race between programmers trying to build bigger and better idiot proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots, so far... the universe is winning.
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gavindon wrote: seems to be working as intended and did not break anything else.
First timer's luck.
Wait till you get more experienced...you'll be f***ing everything up...trust me.
--
** You don't hire a handyman to build a house, you hire a carpenter.
** Jack of all trades and master of none.
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well now, to be honest it didn't seem to break anything when I went live, but, I refuse to fully discuss the last few days of running the app from a live TEST site I had built....But that's nobodies business but my own
Programming is a race between programmers trying to build bigger and better idiot proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots, so far... the universe is winning.
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When in trouble, break glass and pull handle.
Never admit fault. Any mistakes were always made by the guy down the hall. Never put your name on the source code and always play stupid.
--
** You don't hire a handyman to build a house, you hire a carpenter.
** Jack of all trades and master of none.
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Slacker007 wrote: always play stupid.
no problem there
Slacker007 wrote: Never put your name on the source code
I'm the only developer here. they know it was me
Slacker007 wrote: Any mistakes were always made by the guy down the hall
For at least a couple more months I can claim previous guy....
Programming is a race between programmers trying to build bigger and better idiot proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots, so far... the universe is winning.
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I hear you...
Last job I was, you could tell who was a senior programmer by the number of times they screwed up with their releases...there were qualifications based on the number of users affected, and top 1 was bringing down the system (I used to work in a SaaS company so you can imagine the impact). I myself won the first place a couple of times just with that last one
Still, code was so obscure and patched all over that they couldn't prove that it was me the one who brought the system down
"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--either way, you are right."
— Henry Ford
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I'm the only guy here, something breaks in a patch, they know it was me
Programming is a race between programmers trying to build bigger and better idiot proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots, so far... the universe is winning.
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The job progression:
New programmer: Takes it safe, but still goes through code, trying to understand it and even making some minor optimizations, argues that much of code should be refactored. Takes months.
Experienced programmer: Rewrites everything. Extends schedule rediculously. Users complain that software doesn't work the way it used to. Takes years.
Truly senior programmer: Fixes the specific bug, leaves the rest of the crap alone, including the horrible formatting, bad variable names and no comments, doesn't care how it works. Takes minutes.
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well I'm not senior but I already planned on the third route , fix the bugs and roll on. But it does take more than minutes for my newbie brain to unravel all this crap...
but I will simply fix things as they come up, and try to keep to better practices when I write new additions to the project.
having said that, where do you draw the line at rebuilding something vs try to patch in new code in with the old spaghetti? That's part of my issues. I see a better(and much simpler) way to do some things, but to do that I would have to do some major gutting back down the line. But simply tying in some new code to that crap is almost as bad... Guess I will take it aline of code at a time and just do what seems best at the moment depending on deadline for new items vs amount of rework etc..
Programming is a race between programmers trying to build bigger and better idiot proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots, so far... the universe is winning.
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When the aggregate amount of time needed to implement all the of patches you need to make to part of the mess approaches the amount of time needed to rewrite the section from scratch. Alternately when the mess becomes a performance bottleneck that can be fixed with a rewrite.
3x12=36
2x12=24
1x12=12
0x12=18
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Lmao! It's almost like you peer over my shoulder at work.
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gavindon wrote: there are about 5 comments in 40,000 lines of code, and he seemed to like
obscure names for variables, functions and whatnot
Job Security.
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--
** You don't hire a handyman to build a house, you hire a carpenter.
** Jack of all trades and master of none.
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good point, but that only holds so far as I can keep unraveling this spaghetti logic. Functions repeated well, repeatedly, instead of creating an overloaded function and just calling it when needed, he rewrote the same function 15 times(in the same class/page code behind). But only two versions of it....
this was done with multiple functions, over and over and over.... and a couple of them are long as hell... lol
Programming is a race between programmers trying to build bigger and better idiot proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots, so far... the universe is winning.
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