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Some OK and others...I believe I'll wait thank you!
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Good to hear that your trip was all good, Mike. After you go home, please take a good shower and get back to work. 
"Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.
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Rajesh R Subramanian wrote: please take a good shower and get back to work.
Done and trying to get motivated.
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When a joker runs for president, it can only be a joke, thus the sad state of current affairs. 
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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Maybe I should reconsider this[^]. 
/ravi
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Well at least he can deliver news accurately since his jokes are horrendous. Pretty much the worst Weekend Update host to date, and somehow he continues to do it solo. Stefan is the only thing producing laughs in that skit these days.
Craigslist Troll: litaly@comcast.net
"I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. "
— Hunter S. Thompson
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Gotta disagree. I think Jimmy Fallon was the worst.
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Fallon was bad, but at least attempted jokes. Bad jokes. Seth's punchline is "Really?" Which is usually associate with unfunny observations.
Also, Fallon usually had a good co-host. So even if he was the worst individual host, Tina made up for his comedic lacking. Seth is up there by himself, dying...
Craigslist Troll: litaly@comcast.net
"I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. "
— Hunter S. Thompson
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Maybe he needs a side-kick - the potatoes/bread guy is always good for a laugh.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-----
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-----
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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Oh man, I'm taking our carb loading guy as a character for my own sketches, holy sh*t, thanks CP.
Craigslist Troll: litaly@comcast.net
"I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. "
— Hunter S. Thompson
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He didn't mean it as a joke, it ended up that way.
Join the cool kids - Come fold with us[ ^]
"Program as if the technical support department is full of serial killers and they know your home address" - Ray Cassick Jr., RIP
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Probably because they wouldn't allow hime to make trump dollars 
"I do not know with what weapons World War 3 will be fought, but World War 4 will be fought with sticks and stones." Einstein
"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example." Mark Twain
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Yeah they did, they are Donald Dollars; otherwise known as dollars.
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Vote for Ron Paul
"I do not know with what weapons World War 3 will be fought, but World War 4 will be fought with sticks and stones." Einstein
"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example." Mark Twain
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Trump to presidential bid: "You're fired!"
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Maybe. Or maybe he just wanted to force the issue of the birth certificate, pretty much ruining any "October Surprise" by that Irish feller, O'Bama.
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Anyone remember the "Ross for Boss" campaign (Ross Perot)?
Will Donnie change his mind back and run after all? And then back out again?
I wouldn't be surprised.
_____________________________
Give a man a mug, he drinks for a day. Teach a man to mug...
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He stared at the screen in a state of disbelief so complete, that swore he felt his heart physically sink to the floor.
"Those heartless cretins", he said aloud to himself.
He glanced furtively to the basket sitting under the window. Just two potatoes remained from what had been a bountiful supply, graciously left there by past students not nearly so destitute as to deprive him of sustenance for the long hours of not studying. On the table, just out of reach, sat a lone slice of bread. It had already begun its slow transition to some inedible substance punctuated by flecks of green and black, surely poison, but somehow beckoning.
He wrenched his concentration from his now meager rations, back once again to the LCD panel shimmering before him. "I know!", he shouted, almost jolting himself from his near dietary coma. "I'll appeal to their humanity!"
He typed furiously, taking no care to spell any word correctly, nor observe proper syntax rules of the English language. Perhaps it was a sub-conscious desire to display some passive-aggressive anger at his tormentors. He could feel the strength ebbing from him as he typed. "Perhaps this is what it feels like to die from hunger", he muttered.
A clock, ticking somewhere in the background of his awareness, sounded as if each second required whole minutes to elapse, with each tick-tock sound taking a few seconds each on their own accord. Nobody had answered his urgentz question, and it had been a whole four minutes since he'd posted it.
"F5-refresh! F5-refresh! EFFFFFFF-FIIIIIIIIVE REFRESHHHHHHHH!"
What's that? AN ANSWER! And from a highly rated user! The holy grail had been found, and he was about to reap the bene.... Okay, so he posted some links. Maybe the answer lies there and he was merely directing him to a more useful site! In anticipation, he stabbed the mouse at the link, and waited for his deliverance to collegiate heaven.
"WTF is 'apathy'? I'm doomed."
EDIT ================
I swear. That was literary GENIUS, and someone 1-voted it. If you were to try to put it to music, the song would almost write itself. Samuel Clemens himself would be proud! I'm the next Poe, fer christ's sake!!!!!
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010----- You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010----- "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
modified on Monday, May 16, 2011 7:09 PM
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You forgot the water.
Probably brackish, rancid water, with a rainbox slick on the surface and strange, slowing moving "things" swimming around...
Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together.
Manfred R. Bihy: "Looks as if OP is learning resistant."
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5 for creativity, but the poor starving guy could be the next Jeff Farnerson.
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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Who the frak is that?
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-----
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-----
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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Exactly! 
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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I thought it was good. I normally don't read posts that are longer than 5 lines long and I read the whole thing in feverish anticipation of some gratuitous violence but alas, you failed me John.
I 5'd you anyways but it didn't do much.
--
** You don't hire a handyman to build a house, you hire a carpenter.
** Jack of all trades and master of none.
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