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There's only one functional command:
duck();
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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In 1944 the Office of Strategic Services (OSS) published the "SIMPLE SABOTAGE FIELD MANUAL" for use by field operatives. The section on "General Interference with Organisations and Production" (starting on page 28 [32 in PDF numbering]) is hilarious in a very Dilbert sort of way.
http://svn.cacert.org/CAcert/CAcert_Inc/Board/oss/OSS_Simple_Sabotage_Manual.pdf[^]
(a) Organizations and Conferences
(1) Insist on doing everything through "channels." Never permit short-cuts to be taken in order to expedite decisions.
(2) Make "speeches." Talk as frequently as possible and at great length. Illustrate your "points" by long anecdotes and accounts of personal experiences. Never hesitate to make a few appropriate "patriotic" comments.
(3) When possible, refer all matters to committees, for "further study and consideration."
Attempt to make the committees as large as possible — never less than five.
(4) Bring up irrelevant issues as frequently as possible.
(5) Haggle over precise wordings of communications, minutes, resolutions.
(6) Refer back to matters decided upon at the last meeting and attempt to re-open the question of the advisability of that decision.
(7) Advocate "caution." Be "reasonable" and urge your fellow-conferees to be "reasonable" and avoid haste which might result in embarrassments or difficulties later on.
Later:
(d)(8) If possible, join or help organize a group for presenting employee problems to the management. See that the procedures adopted are as inconvenient as possible for the management, involving the presence of a large number of employees at each presentation, entailing more than one meeting for each grievance, bringing up problems which are largely imaginary, and so on.
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I got lost there and thought this might be part of the handouts they give Freshman in the US Congress
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BINGO! Exactly what I was thinking.
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Ha.. I was just thinking it reminded me of the company I work at..
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Is this manual given to the enemy so they could be lost in the paper-work bureaucracy than actual fighting.  
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sounds like a normal day at the office...  I let management deal with that, I just do the work and get in trouble for it later.
_________________________
John Andrew Holmes "It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others."
Shhhhh.... I am not really here. I am a figment of your imagination.... I am still in my cave so this must be an illusion....
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Thus demonstrating that it is easier to ask for forgiveness then permission
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From the manual's preface:
"The contents of this Manual should be carefully controlled and should not be allowed to come into unauthorized hands."
Too late! Huahahaha!!!
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." (DNA)
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Forget to provide paper in toilets; put tightly rolled paper, hair, and other obstructions in the W. C. Saturate a sponge with a thick starch or sugar solution. Squeeze it tightly into a ball, wrap it with string, and dry. Remove the string when fully dried. The sponge will be in the form of a tight hard ball. Flush down a
W.
C. or otherwise introduce into a sewer line. The sponge will gradually expand to its normal size and plug the sewage system.
..wild.
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Sounds like a modern management model, as taught in MBA schools everywhere. 
"A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"
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Holy cr@p!
Call the police! MI5! James Bond!
My company has been infiltrated by at least a dozen foreign agents!
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Are you sure this is not from the 'Politicians 101' guide?
____________________________________________________________
Be brave little warrior, be VERY brave
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This game has made me mad..try it..it's cool..all you have to do is not letting the black cat go out..and keep it within grid..lets see how many of you could solve it..
Black cat cool game[^]
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Beat it the first time...
Then lost about 5 games before the dots aligned to allow another win. It's all about where the dots land at the start. I had one game with 3 starting dots...
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I did it after playing 50 games or so..
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Done
It is Good to be Important but!
it is more Important to be Good
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Ya I found it too. All you have to do is start with far ends instead of the dots near cat...I wanna write C++ code to make computer play this game..it would be so cool..
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finally, something for a change.  
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No more jokes from now..I'm trying to improve my debate reputation which is around -250
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Shivamkalra wrote: I'm trying to improve my debate reputation which is around -250
Act natural, spontaneous jokes want hurt.
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Yusuf wrote: spontaneous jokes want hurt.
...contrary to spontaneous combustion.
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." (DNA)
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Shivamkalra wrote: I'm trying to improve my debate reputation which is around -250
Then do try to avoid the superlatives.
That is not an amazing game, it is a nice game, possibly an amusing game (unlike most of your jokes ).
I beat it on the second attempt and then for 6 straight games at which point I got bored.
Henry Minute
Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain
Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?"
“I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.”
Why do programmers often confuse Halloween and Christmas?
Because 31 Oct = 25 Dec.
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Got you, kitty!
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." (DNA)
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Done it a quite a few times now, win about 3/5 games. It really depends on where the starting blocks are, sometimes it does seem to be unwinable.
My current favourite quote is: Punch them in the face, see what happens!
-SK Genius
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