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Let me guess - it's a bank holiday?
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Trollslayer wrote: Let me guess - it's a bank holiday?
Tomorrow yeah, but now it's just the weekend! 
Cheers,
Vikram. (Got my troika of CCCs!)
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Sorry, we think of a bank holiday weekend rather than the two being separate, that's what I meant.
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Ah, ok, I didn't know that, thanks.
Do all UK bank holidays (other than New Year's Day and the religious ones like Christmas, etc) fall on Mondays and Fridays?
Cheers,
Vikram. (Got my troika of CCCs!)
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Before the Internet, you wouldn't have had the time to care about such things, much less look for them.
Ante-Internet, this town had two newspapers - a 6 page local weekly and a "lite" version of the LA Times - one library which had a reference section containing 3 old telephone books and 2 outdated volumes of the Thomas Guide, and no bookstore. There were 3 TV channels - 4 if the wind was blowing right - and spotty radio reception. Compuserve was like a portal to Nirvana!
"A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"
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A wise old man who was a judge, was asked to settle a dispute between two brothers about the fair division of a large estate left them by their father.
"Let one brother divide the estate," said the judge," and let the other brother have the first choice in choosing his share."
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I wouldn't regard this as a joke of any sort (and certainly not the best joke in human civilisation), but a variation of the Judgement of Solomon.
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And I always thought, the Descartes-joke was the best one in history of human civilization.
(Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender walks up to him and says, “Would you care for a drink?” Descartes replied, “I think not.” and disappears.)
So your post definitively proves me being wrong.
Tsk, silly me.
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." (DNA)
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Descartes : I think therefore I am
Babe : Im pink therefore Im ham
sorry, couldnt resist, but your "I think not" was funnier
'g'
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That's not a joke so much as good advice. To prevent children from arguing over cake, you create a slice they share, have one child cut the slice in half, and have the other child pick his/her slice.
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Comedy is not your forté - are you German?
Did you know:
That by counting the rings on a tree trunk, you can tell how many other trees it has slept with.
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Where's JSOP with a 'tard remark.
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You're still a 'tard! 
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Dear Shivamkalra
I hereby crown you, the official world joke poster of the human civilization. What started as benign JOTD quickly turned to 'best joke of the century' and then BJHHC. As a world joke poster, rest assured the title is yours until some other 'tard snatched it.
Now that you have achieved such highest 'tard status, you are advised to withheld any further posting of jokes, lest you want to loose your title. Please don't dilute your title by posting any more jokes, as that will only reduce your rank. Should other 'tard snatches your title then you will be entitled to reclaim your prize.
Well done and Congratulation. As world title holder you may enjoy it for the rest of your life.
P.S. Please don't undertake any more joke postes as to not loose your title
Regards,
World Best Jokes Federation
President
Your official title should arrive at your address within the time frame outlines the users manual.
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Your journey of discovery into the world of humor reminds me of the episode of Star Trek TNG, in which Data attempts to acquire a sense of humor. It, too, was filled with tragedy and disappointment, not to mention truly pathetic jokes. I wish you well on your journey, and remind you that most such trials of inner discovery are taken solo. May you find a happy ending to your travels down this road - soon!
"A Journey of a Thousand Rest Stops Begins with a Single Movement"
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I have to say - as far as I'm concerned, you are a moronic a***hole. You have all the sense of humour of a zombies penis.
"WPF has many lovers. It's a veritable porn star!" - Josh Smith As Braveheart once said, "You can take our freedom but you'll never take our Hobnobs!" - Martin Hughes.
My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx
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Yet we will automatically entered next year as we are one of the few countries that actually pay for it.
We should pull out.
That'll fox them!
------------------------------------
I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
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You have plenty of good bands and musicians in UK.
Why don't you try to send some of those instead of making a bad joke out of it?
<edit>And I agree, why pay for something that's not taken seriously?
Then again, are anyone taking it seriously, I'm certainly not!</edit>
"When did ignorance become a point of view" - Dilbert
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I am a HUGE fan of the music of the British isles, but the only English musician/band in my top 15 is Sting. The others are from the Celtic lands - The Corrs, Cara Dillon (amazing voice), Runrig, Capercaillie, Celtic Woman, Dougie MacLean, The Cranberries, Enya, etc.
Sting's lyrics are fantastic though - "Be yourself, no matter what they say".
Cheers,
Vikram. (Got my troika of CCCs!)
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Vikram A Punathambekar wrote: "Be yourself, no matter what they say"
Motto of the Young Serial Killers Association.
Bob Emmett
New Eugenecist - The weekly magazine for intelligent parenting.
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Vikram A Punathambekar wrote: Sting's lyrics are fantastic though - "Be yourself, no matter what they say".
I always liked the line from Russians "Let's hope the Russians love their children too", and not to mention my favorite Sting song Soul Cages[^].
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Yup, I always liked the doomsday clock ticking. "How can I save my little boy / From Oppenheimer's deadly toy".
Englishman in New York, Desert Rose, A Thousand Years, Fields of Gold, If I Ever Lose my Faith in You, Shape of My Heart - they are ALL good. He's amazing.
Another song I absolutely love is Billy Joel's Vienna. I only discovered it a few months ago, from an old sig of our Michael P Butler's. Simply brilliant.
Cheers,
Vikram. (Got my troika of CCCs!)
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I'm glad we came last. Coming first would have been horrendous - we'd have had to host the sodding horror.
"WPF has many lovers. It's a veritable porn star!" - Josh Smith As Braveheart once said, "You can take our freedom but you'll never take our Hobnobs!" - Martin Hughes.
My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx
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