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Not sure what you mean... but I'm a total nerd. Clearly... I'm on CP.
Don't go be all over-sensitive now. It's Friday. Lighten up.
Jeremy Falcon
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Objective criteria
1 Have a concise and precise agenda. Concise is the optimal word.
2 Give people at least an hour (5 minutes is too short) notice about the meeting. If it pops up too quickly people will tend to ignore it (my experience).
3 Make sure the right people are there. Absolutely
4 Respect people's time. If the meeting isn't moving along... move it along. Absolutely
5 Respect people's time. If the meeting gets off-course... bring it back to course and take whatever off-course chat that needs to happen offline. Absolutely
"A little time, a little trouble, your better day"
Badfinger
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I would add:
6) Everyone is muted except the current speaker. If there’s a question or comment, wait your turn or raise your hand. If possible of course.
Time is the differentiation of eternity devised by man to measure the passage of human events.
- Manly P. Hall
Mark
Just another cog in the wheel
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Have an agenda; or you'll be the agenda.
"Before entering on an understanding, I have meditated for a long time, and have foreseen what might happen. It is not genius which reveals to me suddenly, secretly, what I have to say or to do in a circumstance unexpected by other people; it is reflection, it is meditation." - Napoleon I
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turn on camera and have a good agenda 
diligent hands rule....
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. keep them as short as possible.
. make sure only people required are invited.
. have an agenda.
CI/CD = Continuous Impediment/Continuous Despair
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u failed to mention if its with a client or a co-worker
Caveat Emptor.
"Progress doesn't come from early risers – progress is made by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things." Lazarus Long
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Avoid meetings, stupidity is contageous.
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If the meeting is to arrive at a decision, then have your RACI matrix or equivalent defined before invitations are sent to know who to invite and who will have final decision (R).
Ensure that R knows they are making the decision.
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Same ones that work completely to make in person meetings effective.
...hmmm...oh wait...I forgot those don't exist either.
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Do not invite rabble-rousers.
Make sure the agenda items will be pertinent for all invitees; anything that is not should be kept to a brief (30 second) summary (I despise all-hands meetings because they do not take care to do this)
If agenda items will not/do not pertain to a person, do not invite them.
iow do not waste my time. I enjoy meetings where work gets done, decisions get made, pertinent information gets shared, and therefore camaraderie gets built.
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Cpichols wrote: Do not invite rabble-rousers.
Certainly no point in inviting anyone that is going to point out that the 'new' idea either can't work at all or it would take years to implement. After all reality isn't needed.
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Some meetings are useful and important. Many more aren't.
As with all meetings (remote and otherwise) have an agenda ready beforehand and stick with it. And be uncomfortably brutal with asking yourself and others "Is this meeting necessary?" and behave accordingly.
When the discussions stray off the agenda quickly ask for that to be taken to a discussion afterwards between the parties that actually need to discuss.
Have a clear ending when done and let people escape who need to. Those that want to talk more at that point might be free to do so, I guess.
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Most of this has already been said. But
1. Agenda - and do your best to stick too it.
2. Concise - Not just the agenda but the time. If you scheduled for an hour but only need 42 minutes. STop at 42 minutes.
3. People Management - Those that yell loudest need to be stifled(a bit) and those that are shy need to be encouraged. Get something from them. You invited them to hear their opinion. Get it. and DO NOT let them be overtalked by the loud ones.
To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer
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Stop having them...
Steve Naidamast
Sr. Software Engineer
Black Falcon Software, Inc.
blackfalconsoftware@outlook.com
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Fewer. It is possible to meet once a week, look at what was done the previous week, what needs to be done the next week, and assign as makes sense.
With rare exception, have team members use ad-hoc communication (e.g. Teams) to communicate directly with only who needs to be involved.
Hire or train your people to act professionally, take ownership of their projects and assignments, take initiative, use their abilities, and just get it done. Don’t hire or keep those whose best effort is to follow a recipe book and unable to use deductive reasoning.
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I literally had a conversation this morning where we hit all four popular things programmers say:
"It works for me"
"It worked a couple days ago"
"Huh"
"The JSON is bad"
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Ah but you missed the important ones!
"Where's the coffee?"
"I need a faster machine"
"Pizza, anybody?"
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Can speak from recent experience that faster machines don't help. They just raise your expectations accordingly.
What? why is it taking 10 seconds? (this used to take 2 minutes) ARGGGGG
To err is human. Fortune favors the monsters.
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But you can never go the other way…
This used to take 43 seconds, now it takes 44 seconds.
why?
Why?
WHY?
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Oh I went the other way, but it cost me a pretty penny. 
To err is human. Fortune favors the monsters.
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"It's not that critical".
"There is a simple workaround".
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"It must be a Dotfuscator error" 
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Did you turn it off and back on again?
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I generally hear a fair amount of cussing.
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
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