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My company is locked down and I am required to work from home. I'm used to working in an open office space so this is a huge change for me. In order to make the transition as easy as possible, I have prepared my home office to remind me of work.
I've purchased a piece of Limburger cheese and placed it on a plate in the middle of the room to remind me of the smell of certain colleagues I'm now prevented from seeing.
I've placed a few pieces of cardboard in all window panes in order to produce a draft.
I've purchased ten portable radios and tuned them to different talk radio channels, adjusting the volume to slightly above normal conversation volume. At least one radio channel host has a loud and penetrating laughter. Half of the channels are allowed some professional content, but no more.
I've had automatic blinds installed but asked the installer to reverse the motor so the blinds go up when the sun shines through my window and down when it gets cloudy.
I found a handful of old mobile phones and installed some loud and distinctive ring tones that I found online. I've agreed with my colleagues that they call them a few times per hour, avoiding the temptation to answer them until my colleagues hang up - like in the office.
For a proper coffee experience, I brew my coffee the day before. Whenever I need a cup of coffee, I reheat the entire bottle in the microwave and pour myself a cup.
I have purchased both a cooling unit and a heating unit. They are adjusted so that the cooling unit engages at two degrees higher than the heating unit disengages. It is important for them to thus compete against each other, because otherwise I won't get a lifelike simulation of the HVAC system in our office.
I have replaced all of my office plants with wax plants - you know, those plants that are typically arranged in an upright torus and bark covering the soil. They require minimal maintenance, and require only some cuts and adjustments every now and then, thus being treated much like all other life in the office.
Whenever I begin working on a task, I start an egg timer so that it takes no more than 23 minutes before I get interrupted.
I've invested in an electrically adjustable desk. I realise that only few people actually make use of this feature but it sends an important message about the company's concern for the well-being of its employees. If you have no pain in your back, then everything is fine.
I remove all of my personal items, PC connections, etc. from my desk every afternoon, because although I intend to use them all the next morning, I must be reminded that I can never know where I will be placed on the next work day.
I've printed a number of letter-sized sheets with text and accompanying stick men (M/F, of course) that communicate how to be considerate of your employees. This is exclusively to set a proper atmosphere because just like in the office, no-one follows the recommendations.
I have installed an additional DHCP server on my home network in order to get IP address conflicts.
It will be expensive, but at least once a week I'll be hiring a construction team to perform noisy work.
And voila! The magic of the office at home.
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Just so long as you spend 2 hours getting to and from your home office each day, and flush a fist full of cash down the toilet each time you have a sandwich for lunch, you'll have a near complete simulation! 
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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OriginalGriff wrote: Just so long as you spend 2 hours getting to and from your home office each day
Yup, the daily routines[^] are important 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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I'm not sure, the picture doesn't make it clear: Do experts recommend keeping your daily rituals even while working from home, or not? It's only mentioned 4 times in the top half of it.
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OriginalGriff wrote: each time you have a sandwich for lunch
and make sure your sandwich is not worth the money you spent/flushed.
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That's awesome! I hope you bought some cheap TP for the bathroom too.
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Out of TP, so single ply Daily Fail will have to do.
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Don't forget to lock yourself out on the first day and every three months after that to simulate your manager not signing the paperwork for your badge to keep working
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Don't forget to put some dirty cups and dishes in the kitchen sink and on the worktops. And, next time you go to the loo, pee on the toilet seat and floor! Really missing the 'magic' of going to the office! 
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I would like to add a couple of things
1. You need the sound of a loud co-worker one who's voice you can hear over everything.
2. You also need the co-worker that eat very loudly
Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians.
Help end the violence EAT BACON
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Jörgen Andersson wrote: Limburger cheese and placed it on a plate in the middle of the room to remind me of the smell of
OK, you've already failed workplace PC requirements you're going to have to engage some consultants to teach you how to stop making politically incorrect statements including such things as racism.
moving to a new office means a fire drill usually mandatory within 60-90 days (depending on jurisdiction) days, and a workplace health and safety walk-through may be required too as well as inspection of signage for escape routs, exits, toilets, emergency lighting ...
if it's a fresh setup could be at least a couple of months before you are allowed to work there.
pestilence [ pes-tl-uh ns ] noun
1. a deadly or virulent epidemic disease. especially bubonic plague.
2. something that is considered harmful, destructive, or evil.
Synonyms: pest, plague, people
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Don't forget to put a bin with a couple of eggs opened some days ago to simulate some "uranus gas leaks" coming from other parts of the area.
M.D.V. 
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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You're wasted as a dev. Interior design is the way for you to go! I'd hire you in a instant*!
* A few weeks before I'm due to move on to another contract.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Precisely[^]
Okay not to sound so pessimistic. Actually, President Trump's gonna save us with the rescue boats. So nobody's gonna drown.
The chloroquine boats just arrived.
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Nand32 wrote: chloroquine
Quote: The US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has issued an emergency use authorization for chloroquine and hydroxychloroquine to treat patients hospitalized with COVID-19.
I tried to find quotes were people were blaming their stupidity on Trump for ingesting this stuff the wrong way and I could not find the quotes. Secondly, I see a lot of people on here therefore claiming that the stuff does not work and Trump is an idiot for suggesting it might.
Yet, here we are with the FDA approving it for treatment.
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other.
Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it.
Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
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I guess the only disagreement was, Trump was assertive about the positive impact of the medicine.
But the FDA guy said, this would take the "Trial route". Trump did not mention about it at all.
I guess that's the difference.
modified 30-Mar-20 9:02am.
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Nand32 wrote: , Trump was assertive about the positive impact on the medicine.
I had seen stories that said it had cured 100% of people treated. That seems pretty positive to me.
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other.
Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it.
Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
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ZurdoDev wrote: I had seen stories that said it had cured 100% of people treated. That seems pretty positive to me.
I wish they are true.
(Googles "Buy chloroquine in bulk" ) 
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Nand32 wrote: I wish they are true.
You can ask the people who claim they were cured by it. 
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other.
Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it.
Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
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ZurdoDev wrote: You can ask the people who claim they were cured by it
There contact info is available on the sites that are selling you the very same miracle cures so you don't have to do any searching!
(certainly, no one on the internet would ever lie . . . to you).
| Ravings en masse^ |
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| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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W∴ Balboos, GHB wrote: that are selling you the very same miracle cures
No one has tried to sell it to me. Do you have a link?
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other.
Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it.
Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
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ZurdoDev wrote: Do you have a link?
I have so many links I hardly no what to do with them.
Why do you ask?
| Ravings en masse^ |
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| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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W∴ Balboos, GHB wrote: Why do you ask?
Because I haven't seen what you claimed so I guess we must be visiting different sites.
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other.
Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it.
Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
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