|
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer.
All of a sudden, he said out loud "Lord, grant me one wish".
Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish". The man said "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want".
The Lord said "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports that would be required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honour and glorify Me".
The man thought about it for a long time.
Finally, he said "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly happy".
The Lord replied "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
Real programmers use butterflies
|
|
|
|
|
|
A small repost once every other decade is fully acceptable, I think... 
|
|
|
|
|
Lighten up, Francis.
"They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers! Can I get an amen?"
|
|
|
|
|
That joke was originally told by Adam.
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.
|
|
|
|
|
And did you ever drive on the bridge, then  ?
|
|
|
|
|
I couldn't afford the toll. 
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Good one, I love to start my day with a good joke.
|
|
|
|
|
Only a real simp would need to ask such questions and only a simp would be dumb enough to go to the guy who played that prank on us and actually ask them.
honey the codewitch wrote: I wish that I could understand women.
Yes, my son, that makes you a simp.
honey the codewitch wrote: I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment
That's none of your business. All you need to know is that it's your fault and it's unforgivable.
honey the codewitch wrote: why they cry
See last answer.
honey the codewitch wrote: what they mean when they say 'nothing',
See last answer.
honey the codewitch wrote: and how I can make a woman truly happy
Above all, don't be a simp.
I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats.
His last invention was an evil Lasagna. It didn't kill anyone, and it actually tasted pretty good.
|
|
|
|
|
I'm not actually particularly interested in women, it was just a joke.
Real programmers use butterflies
|
|
|
|
|
I know. That's also a good way to dodge that bullet.
I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats.
His last invention was an evil Lasagna. It didn't kill anyone, and it actually tasted pretty good.
|
|
|
|
|
You must be a riot at parties.
|
|
|
|
|
Depends on the party. My personal favorite used to be missile away parties.
I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats.
His last invention was an evil Lasagna. It didn't kill anyone, and it actually tasted pretty good.
|
|
|
|
|
A bit predictable.
"In testa che avete, Signor di Ceprano?"
-- Rigoletto
|
|
|
|
|
|
Yeah, my take on that is the government losers got embarrassed, and decided to take revenge.
Luckily, it will be laughed out of court, and the losers just got themselves the Streisand Effect because of it.
Real programmers use butterflies
|
|
|
|
|
|
Had they provided a link the page I certainly would have. I don't feel like searching for it.
"They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers! Can I get an amen?"
|
|
|
|
|
The reporter ought to charge them for revealing a security problem.
Dumber than a box of rocks, typical politician!
The less you need, the more you have.
Even a blind squirrel gets a nut...occasionally.
JaxCoder.com
|
|
|
|
|
Hey! Don't tell everyone I leave a front-door key under the mat!
|
|
|
|
|
I won't say a word...oh BTW your getting low on Bourbon. 
The less you need, the more you have.
Even a blind squirrel gets a nut...occasionally.
JaxCoder.com
|
|
|
|
|
Wrong house then, I have only tequila and Rum. And wine for fancy burglars.
|
|
|
|
|
Technically, Mike's still correct.
|
|
|
|
|
And we all know that technically correct is the best kind of correct.
GCS d--(d-) s-/++ a C++++ U+++ P- L+@ E-- W++ N+ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t+ 5? X R+++ tv-- b+(+++) DI+++ D++ G e++ h--- r+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
|
|
|
|
General 
News 
Suggestion 
Question 
Bug 
Answer 
Joke 
Praise 
Rant 
Admin 
Submit an article or tip
