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I got laser eye surgery a month ago, but I still can't shoot lasers out of my eyes.
Am I doing it wrong, or should I be asking for a refund?
What I have tried:
Shooting laser beams out of my eyes.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Try rebooting!
In this present crisis, government is not the solution to our problem; government is the problem. ~ Ronald Reagan
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We're not here to do your homework. You won't learn anything by getting other people to write your code for you and it's unfair on your classmates.
Try attaching a debugger to your eyeballs and step through the code (assuming that you've actually bothered to write some) a line at a time. It's most likely an incorrect binding path for what it's worth.
Slogans aren't solutions.
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uninstall the updates
try again next Tuesday
Sin tack ear lol
Pressing the any key may be continuate
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Ah, easy mistake to make. You need administrative access for that. Try "sudo".
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Try drinking some Rhodamine 6G. If that doesn't work, try injecting it into your eyes.
(I am not responsible for any adverse effects due to following this advice.)
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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I've built a few lasers, some 'from scratch' - and I'll give you one bit of helpful essential advice: Sheep Are Not The Answer!
| Ravings en masse^ |
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| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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The lasers are still installing patches. Have them downgrade the OS to W7. 
Marc
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I also keep pressing the home button on my iphone at work, but it never worked either 
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You obviously didn't use the search function, to see if our question has already been answered.
Deleting as duplicate.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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For one I hate that they sell applications no-one wrote, and then push you to complete it yesterday...
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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"Don't sell the skin of the bear, until it is dead"
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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Whenever you come in contact with them, directly or indirectly, just put your fingers into your ears and sing a little. Don't listen to any of their fantasies and just ignore them. Double experience points if you resist the urge to listen when they actually turn up and try to explain to us how to do our jobs.
Ignoring them is not taken as rude, as they have only a loose grasp of reality anyway.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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No, no - remember: they have expense accounts. Use that fact.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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So do some other weirdos I don't even want te be lying dead in one cascet with.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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Because we're engineers. Engineers and marketing are like dogs and cats. Some snuggle, most war.
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marketing drives innovation via necessity being the mother of invention.
Sin tack ear lol
Pressing the any key may be continuate
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I forgot to ask:
What do you call a marketing guy in a tub full of acid?
A solution.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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Both are necessary roles in business.... you might not like them, but it's hard for a business to keep a constant stream of work/funds without them. They sell the dream, we make it happen. 
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Marketing is the skin of your code. So if you hate them your code is misunderstood. 
Press F1 for help or google it.
Greetings from Germany
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Yeah - but look how well that strategy worked out for Bill Gates.
| Ravings en masse^ |
|---|
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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I detest marketing morons because they're so bad at what they do.
They talk about themselves as though they're great persuaders, with silver tongues, who can make customers buy stuff that they don't want; but mainly they're just morons who have no idea how to use words/psychology to convince anyone to do anything, they're just incessant, persistent, un-get-rid-of-able nags, who cling to customers' backs like a sleep-paralysis hag until they sign the bare minimum.
The only thing they seem to be even remotely capable of talking up is themselves.
There are far, far, better ways of doing what they do, and I've lost years of my own lifetime teaching them to do it better (with marked results), only to see them almost immediately fall back into their moronic ways.
Speaking generically, don't waste your time on the bloody morons. Your time is better spent associating with people who have brains in their skulls.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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