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Completely Useless Bacon Post of the Day:
(But seeing that I know how much people around here love BACON)
How about combining maths and bacon and make your very own Bacon Möbius[^]???
Seems like a lot of work, but then again: You will have an eternal supply of bacon (as long as you don't eat it)! 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
modified 24-Mar-16 6:42am.
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Johnny J. wrote: Completely Useless Bacon Post of the Hay:
FTFY (According to the Subject/Title of your Post)
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Hay, thanks! It's hard with all the letters, you know. There are so many of them... 
BTW: I fixed the subject...
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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You're welcome!
I had to read it a few times to make sure it's not my mistake 
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This might be interesting to native and non-native English speakers alike:
How Far Back in Time Can You Understand English?[^]
How far can you hang on? Personally, Shakespeare is as far as I'm willing to stretch my brain to (try to) understand...
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
modified 24-Mar-16 6:37am.
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Nice
There are two types of people in this world: those that pronounce GIF with a soft G, and those who do not deserve to speak words, ever.
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Chaucer's not too bad once you get into the swing of it. Curiously Spenser is far more difficult than Shakespeare despite being effectively a contemporary of his. But the real question how many generations later than your own can you go without struggling? Some modern argots make Shakespeare look like a beacon of comprehensibility.
I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!
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That's true! I'm born and raised in Denmark, lived there for 35 years.
Then some 16 years ago, I had to up and leave. Settled in Sweden. Next door neighbour to Denmark and quite a similar language (although Danes and Swedes alike will probably disagree).
Now, when I listen to Danish television or read Danish newspapers, there are actually words and sentences I don't understand! 
Mind you, the Danes have always been much more creative with the language than the Swedes...
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Who knew that when Willy wrote the character of Yorick he wanted to play the role himself.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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I don't mean to be a spoilsport, but rumour has it that Shakespeare wasn't that bright and really didn't write all the plays himself. 
So my question is: Are they sure that there actually WAS a head to begin with??? 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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The rumours are purely that he liked Bacon.
This space for rent
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You see, isn't it a coincidence how all my posts seem to relate to each other today??? Thanks for reminding me.
Personally, I'm leaning more towards Oxford, though! 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Johnny J. wrote: didn't write all the plays himself
No, some bloke who had nothing better to do while they were faking the moon landings wrote them and then used the time machine salvaged from the Roswell crash to take them back to Elizabethan London!
I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!
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Alas, Horatio, I knew him well...
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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I don't f*ckin know...
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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The absolute peak of "Yo momma's so fat..."
(7)
Clue 1: Eleven wrapped in gold fit in a thousandth of a metre..
modified 24-Mar-16 8:06am.
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Not a real answer..but with the clue you reminded me of a joke/pun.
A knight is thinking this to himself:
"I gained a little weight, now all the peasants call me Sir Cumference."
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Don't know why but this clue makes me think about "Burgers" 
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Everest?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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