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Real men don't read the instruction manual 
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Surely the "spelling the word "the"." portion of that sentence is superfluous?
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What'll happen when he finds out he can't pass GO and collect his $200?
New version: WinHeist Version 2.1.1 new web site.
I know the voices in my head are not real but damn they come up with some good ideas!
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I can sense a new supervillain movie coming up..
How do you know so much about swallows? Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.
modified 31-Aug-21 21:01pm.
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YOU shall not pass![^]
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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Heard on the radio during my morning commute in an ad for FooBar Jewelers "Lifetime Diamond Guarantee".
WTE are they supposed to be guaranteeing? I could see a guarantee on the setting, but on the stone itself? You're not going to scratch it by accident afterall; are they promising it won't ever turn into a cubic zirconia or something? 
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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It's not silly at all. Less critical viewers of the ad may be lured onto their site that way and it may raise curiosity of the more critical readers, luring them onto the site as well.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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There's a sucker born every minute, you just have to know how to lure them in!
New version: WinHeist Version 2.1.1 new web site.
I know the voices in my head are not real but damn they come up with some good ideas!
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I dunno, diamonds can be damaged. Especially by wives who are putting some cream on their hands in the car so have taken the rings off and left them on their laps, then they get out of that car on a busy street and the rings go over the road and get run over several times.
Just saying it could happen, my wife would never do that. No, not her. 
veni bibi saltavi
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My Missus has lost the diamond out of the solitaire engagement ring and also 2 x 18 caret bracelets I bought in the early 90's ($600+) and the mid 90's replacement ($900+).
She now has no bracelets and no diamond in the ring.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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There are diamonds and there are diamonds. Unless you are Crown Prince of an Emirate, it is extremely unlikely that the diamonds you have seen on the fingers of anyone you know will be of sufficient quality to be completely impervious to all damage whatsoever. The guarantee also includes free regular inspection and professional cleaning of the stone and affords certain privileges with regard to trading-in the stone at a later date. It's actually a very attractive package (better than Tiffany's!) and I would certainly be featuring it in my ads were I a jeweler.
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Mohs scale diamond = perfect, ideal, flawless > Crown Prince of Emirate or Queen of England diamond >
diamond bought from Tiffany's for Elizabeth Taylor > diamond bought from Foobar Jeweler for average girl's engagement ring
Besides the guarantee usually includes regular free inspections and cleaning which is actually more than Tiffany's offers. If I was head of Foobar, I'd definitely be making that a headline of my ads!
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Two replies to the same message with the same information? It's starting to look like you're writing their adverts for them. 
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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The first one didn't come through immediately so I thought I'd hit the wrong button. But if they want to hire me ..... !
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The only thing that I don't get yet is why everyone so desperately decorates himself like a christmas tree.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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CDP1802 wrote: decorates himself like a christmas tree.
You decorate your Christmas tree with diamonds? Can you adopt me please? 
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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Please move to the end of the line. The other applicants arrived before you. 
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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I concur. What's the big deal with diamonds, rings, etc. They are just shiny rocks attached to bits of shiny metal after all!
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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Gold has excellent electrical properties and does not corrode. Diamonds can be used in all kinds of cutting tools. There are probably hundreds of more productive uses for them than decorating some aging primates
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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Well, diamonds are made of carbon after all.
Burns just fine.
But as the heat conductivity is five times that of copper it's at least pretty hard to set fire to.
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Tommy Boy quote...
[^]
Seems appropriate..
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Well, TBH I'm already questioning the state of mind of anyone willing to spend this sort of money on shiny rocks...
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The answer is SUBAQUA, or SUB-AQUA, by some standards, so after 3 hours of holding my breath I'll have to do it again. Can anyone give the solution to the cryptic bits.
veni bibi saltavi
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I thought "Jacques' kit" must be a reference to Monsieur Cousteau, but I couldn't see how "aqua-lung" could be seven letters. 
EDIT:
Aha!
- "Less than" ⇒ "sub";
- "Indefinite" ⇒ "a" (an indefinite example of)
- "Capacity" ⇒ "qua[^]" (in the capacity of)
Very devious, and no mention of alcohol.
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
modified 5-Jun-15 8:52am.
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