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Vivic wrote: 1 Forgive your enemy nut
Yes, those damned brazils just live to make my life hell.
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Reminds me of my signature. 
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I particularly like number 4: how very true. 
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So, the question is, would you dare to change the law?
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
Any organization is like a tree full of monkeys. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.
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Let's just say I wouldn't break it...
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Vivic wrote: 3. Help someone when they are in trouble and they'll remember you when they're
in trouble again.
That should read: TRY to help someone.
It allows implies that they KNOW they are in trouble or CARE that they are in trouble. Quite often, they don't know or they don't care.
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4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.
I'd rather be phishing!
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Was that a thumb's down for the comment or that you can't shoot the buggers?
Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.
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The whole idea that is it supposed to be funny to shot people "just because".
I'd rather be phishing!
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Thanks. Now I know I must keep any jokes I make here on CP squeaky clean and politically correct.
No object is so beautiful that, under certain conditions, it will not look ugly. - Oscar Wilde
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#3 so funny and it's true.
Wonde Tadesse
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A corollary to number three, and a favorite of mine: "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, give a man a poisoned fish and you feed him for the rest of his life."
Within you lies the power for good - Use it!
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I prefer my ('borrowed/enhanced' version of #4) ...
4) Some people are like Slinkies. They aren't really good for/at anything, but they still bring a smile to my face when I push them down a flight of stairs(*)
(*) seems to be attributed to Patricia Briggs/Walter Winchell
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6. A friend in need is a pest.
Will Rogers never met me.
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In Russian there is the phrase like your p.2.
Here is it in my translation (don't bit the pianist...):
"Money doesn't create the happiness, but helps to suffer it's absence".
My English is permanently under construction. Be patient !!
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Alternately, we have the following two rules, first propounded by anarchist theorist Mikhail Bakunin:
- There are no rules.
- Rule #1 is not binding.
I observe those rules scrupulously.
(This message is programming you in ways you cannot detect. Be afraid.)
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1. Pillage, then burn.
6. If violence wasn’t your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.
12. A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head.
14. "Mad Science" means never stopping to ask "what's the worst thing that could happen?"
17. The longer everything goes according to plan, the bigger the impending disaster.
from Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries - Howard Tayler.
http://schlockmercenary.wikia.com/wiki/The_Seventy_Maxims_of_Maximally_Effective_Mercenaries[]
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Hilarious! I'll add one more that one of my bosses used to say.
6. A fool with a tool is still a fool. The tool just makes him more dangerous.
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Step away from the Spike Milligan and put the remote down. 
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Well eight out of ten at least.
I don't think to much before I speak, and I don't succeed on stage because I avoid it at any cost.
List of symptoms over here[^].
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
Any organization is like a tree full of monkeys. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.
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10 out of 10 for me I think.
I love showing off, giving a performance as long as I know what I am doing, everything carefully rehearsed though, I'd hate to just go and wing it.
I rehearse most things that I say out loud, which means I struggle in groups because I'm always waiting for my turn to speak or still thinking about something that has gone.
I cannot cope with small talk, can't see the point, I'd rather sit in silence, I'm comfortable with silence.
The thought of having to make a phone call makes me feel sick, and I have to build myself up to making one each time. The only exceptions to that are calling my wife, or my parents.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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chriselst wrote: I love showing off
Who doesn't?
chriselst wrote: giving a performance as long as I know what I am doing, everything carefully rehearsed though
But you can't be rehearsed enough can you?
chriselst wrote: still thinking about something that has gone.
And meanwhile I'm missing out on what's being said at the moment.
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
Any organization is like a tree full of monkeys. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.
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