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Okay, I'll get the 'joke' out early - Bought the wife a new bag and belt today. Hoover works a treat.
Right, are any of you capable of even the most minimum level of romantic behaviour?
In 2001, I was working in Singapore and Mrs Wife, who was then just Miss Fiancée, was in Budapest. I wanted to make sure she knew she was always in my mind so I arranged for some flowers to be delivered. Lots of flowers.
She had just arrived at work when she got called down to collect a 'delivery'. It was a large bouquet of flowers, attached to it was a card with one word on it - "Nagyon". She wondered who it could be, but hopped/guessed it was probably me. But why the one word?
At lunch time, a second bunch of flowers, larger than the first of course, arrives. This time the attached card says "Szeretlek". Her suspicion is aroused. Have I sent one bouquet and someone else the other or are they both from me? Well "Nagyon szeretlek" does mean "I love you very much" and she was sure it was me. But she couldn't call as I was 'in a meeting' 
Finally, late afternoon brings the third LOVECON-I truck load of floral adoration. You know the huge bouquets they give to soloists at the opera? Tiny little things by comparison. This one also brings the one word message "Kedvesem" and now she's sure they're all from me; clever bunny that she is.
The message together is "I love you very much my darling" and she is 'well pleased', if not 'over the moon' even. Right, that was Phase I complete.
In the evening, I went over to Raffles Bar and up to the Long Bar. I had the band play a song for me and just before they started I called her and just said "Listen." I held the phone so she could here the band play "Wonderful Night".
By the end of the song she was in tears of lurve and nine days later she arrived in Singapore to visit me. That evening we went to the Long Bar and you'll never guess what song they started to play as soon as we walked in up the stairs...
speramus in juniperus
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Nagy Vilmos wrote: Right, are any of you capable of even the most minimum level of romantic behaviour?
No! 
.... well not unless it involves me getting chocolate! 
"State acheived after eating too many chocolate-covered coconut bars - bountiful"
Chris C-B
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Bad Ali!
Shall I do the doggy style joke as well? Okay.
After being married for so long, doggy style for us is me sitting up and begging and her rolling over and playing dead.
[I'll get the coat, no need to hold the door]
speramus in juniperus
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That's a looong story, bro.
Mine's a lot shorter.
I got assigned my Valentine date. Yes, that's true. She did one of these online "Who is your Valentine"-tests, and it happened that me popped up on the screen (well - a picture of me, actually).
So I'm settled for a date tonight, even though it will be 'only' a Skype date. Let's see how that's gonna turn out.
Clean-up crew needed, grammar spill... - Nagy Vilmos
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Nagy Vilmos wrote: you'll never guess what song they started to play as soon as we walked in up the stairs...
ACDC - Highway To Hell ? 
Sorry, I couldn't resist 
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Cool!!!!
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*gag*
*regurgitate*
*hurl*
*puke*
*spew*
*upchuck*
*throw up*
...in casacades!
Man up, will you! Just tell her lies and feed her candy like the rest of us. Don't raise womens expectations on the entire male population like that! 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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My work here is done.
Anyway her expectations are of ME and not you poor loveless plebs! I have yet, despite some effort, been able to surpass that one. But this morning I won points by just having a card on the table for her when she came down.
speramus in juniperus
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Don't forget the chocolate !
Microsoft ... the only place where VARIANT_TRUE != true
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Pluralise it: one is never sufficient.
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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I guess she meant "an infinite amount of chocolate"
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Who in his right mind understands chocolate with one single piece of that lovely brown (maybe white or other cute colors like pink for example) substance. There is nothing like that in the universe.
You should understands mountains from it enough to satisfy you and most importantly enough to leave you with leftovers
Microsoft ... the only place where VARIANT_TRUE != true
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Argonia wrote: enough to leave you with leftovers
Leftovers?
Sorry, no, you lost me there!
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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OriginalGriff wrote: one is never sufficient.
Griff, you are my kind of man!
"State acheived after eating too many chocolate-covered coconut bars - bountiful"
Chris C-B
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![Rose | [Rose]](https://www.codeproject.com/script/Forums/Images/rose.gif)
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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Covered in chocolate? 
speramus in juniperus
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Nagy Vilmos wrote: Covered in chocolate?
Oh stop it, you will get me into trouble!
"State acheived after eating too many chocolate-covered coconut bars - bountiful"
Chris C-B
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Nagy Vilmos wrote: I won points by just having a card on the table for her when she came down.
What was it? Your credit card 
Hmm i wonder why its doing that......ARGHS NO STOP, ROLLBACK ROLLBACK...F*** That's how i learned to "Always Backup"!!
Dogs are man's best Friend,
Cats are man's adorable little serial killer
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No silly, it had a nice romantic message:
Roses are red,
Violets are red,
The grass is red,
I just shot a squirrel!
speramus in juniperus
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Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Gin is cheaper
then a dinner for two
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Nagy Vilmos wrote: you'll never guess what song they started to play as soon as we walked in up the stairs...
This one[^]?
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You may no leave!
speramus in juniperus
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Nagy Vilmos wrote: You may no leave!
He no plan to either! 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-----
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Spilling are herd!
speramus in juniperus
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Pass the sick bag, Alice. 
Veni, vidi, abiit domum
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