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One of the things I learned early: never sniff household pets. Whatever you find out, you will not like...
The universe is composed of electrons, neutrons, protons and......morons. (ThePhantomUpvoter)
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Correction: your house smells just great.
Monday is one of my fasting days, you say your tummy is growling? My single meal for today is still over an hour off.
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So that where the Meerkats ended up
You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start
Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
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Only Aleksandr - it would be too much like cannibalism to eat Sergei.
The universe is composed of electrons, neutrons, protons and......morons. (ThePhantomUpvoter)
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From last month[^]
900 pigs died in a farm fire, a spoken from the fire brigade described the scene as delicious.
“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks
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OriginalGriff wrote: The whole house smells of curry.
You just killed my appetite.
Curry is one of those things I've never acquired a taste for despite everyone "guaranteeing" their favorite curry will win me over.
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Damnit OG now you got me hungry and all I got handy, at least until I go to the store is bologna. 
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When we getting that damn recipe forum.
My slow cooker is criminally underutilised. All I ever do in it is beef stew or gammon joints. Both of which are extremely tasty but still.
“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks
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I use it for a lot of things: stocks, curries, shepherd's pie fillings, ham joints, bulk chilli for the freezer, bolognese sauce, and steam puddings (sweet and snake'n'pigmy). I even cook roast lamb shoulder in it. Very versatile tool!
The universe is composed of electrons, neutrons, protons and......morons. (ThePhantomUpvoter)
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I tried doing a chicken in mine once, but after getting everything ready I discovered the chicken wouldn't fit in.
Turning it upside down and beating it up got it in, but it didn't work very well.
“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks
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ChrisElston wrote: Turning it upside down and beating it up got it in, but it didn't work very well.
Perhaps you should have used a dead one? 
The universe is composed of electrons, neutrons, protons and......morons. (ThePhantomUpvoter)
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According to the subject of your message, you're hungry.
Then you should do just one thing...
eat some BACON!
The quick red ProgramFOX jumps right over the Lazy<Dog>.
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I think I can speak for most of us here, We on our way!
Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians.
Help end the violence EAT BACON
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You'll get nowhere near Griff's underground lair in the Welsh wilds guarded by legions of attack sheep.
“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks
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ah you need the secret weapon a jar of mint sauce 
Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians.
Help end the violence EAT BACON
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and this is nothing like good support.
Get a phone call to say there is a problem with a (very business critical) system of mine. Log onto the management software, everything extremely laggy, some things look to be down then report as being up again a short while later, then down again and so on.
Logon to the UNIX server (I know very little about this, just have a few basic commands, and have little in the way of adminy access anyway). The load looks very high to my untrained eye.
So I email the server support guys "Would you say that this is an unhealthy load average; load average: 5.35, 6.03, 5.89".
Answer comes back "Chris, I'm not sure.".
A minute later I get "Chris, I'm off now.".
Bloody brilliant.
“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks
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Chris, what do you expect us to do about it? 
Why can't I be applicable like John? - Me, April 2011
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Beidh ceol, caint agus craic againn - Seán Bán Breathnach
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Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
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Just because a thing is new don’t mean that it’s better - Will Rogers, September 4, 1932
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Are you looking for a job?
I know a place where your attitude will fit right in.
“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks
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LOL - I don't know anything about Unix either, so I guess I would get the job if I applied???
Why can't I be applicable like John? - Me, April 2011
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Beidh ceol, caint agus craic againn - Seán Bán Breathnach
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Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
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Just because a thing is new don’t mean that it’s better - Will Rogers, September 4, 1932
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Chris, I am not sure. Anyway, I am off now.
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Do not feed the troll ! - Common proverb
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Turn it off and back on again.
The universe is composed of electrons, neutrons, protons and......morons. (ThePhantomUpvoter)
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Don't.
The amount of times servers get bounced around here is frightening.
We had the plug pulled on a server a couple of weeks ago because of a problem with one app had made it unresponsive (apparently) but another app had a batch process running. The other marked the user for the batch process as connected in the DB, when the plug was pulled it went down with the user still marked as connected. When it came back up it was still marked as connected. There is no facility with that application to clear a user who is marked as connected.
We had to get the company who wrote it to hack something to clear it up.
“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks
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ChrisElston wrote: There is no facility with that application to clear a user who is marked as connected
Lazy programming at it's best! 
The universe is composed of electrons, neutrons, protons and......morons. (ThePhantomUpvoter)
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When asked what had caused the problem I replied "Unfortunate timing and poor design".
“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks
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