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Chinese takeout: $15.00
Gas to get there: $1.50
Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes: Riceless!
Don't go away folks, I'll be back next week!
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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...I just sent him a card: "Get well soon"! 
Ba-Tish!
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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I fell for it.
GCS d--(d+) s-/++ a C++++ U+++ P- L+@ E-- W++ N+ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t+ 5? X R+++ tv-- b+(+++) DI+++ D++ G e++ h--- r+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
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Speaking of wells and water bills...True story:
I live out in the country, just outside city limits. Everybody has his own well. Until a few years ago, that is, when the municipality ran water pipes down the street. Many of us opted not to get hooked up to it, as our ground water tastes a lot better than the smelly chemical-laden water they provide.
Then they started sending us monthly water bills--even to those who didn't get hooked up to it. One of my neighbors raised a stink about it and refused to pay. The municipality threatened to cut off his water service.
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dandy72 wrote: The municipality threatened to cut off his water service.
And people seem to think we need more government... 
Socialism is the Axe Body Spray of political ideologies: It never does what it claims to do, but people too young to know better keep buying it anyway. (Glenn Reynolds)
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...The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity! 
Ba-tish!
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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/ravi
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Are one hundred small Australian parasites burning? (7)
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Can't help but think itching ?
We can’t stop here, this is bat country - Hunter S Thompson RIP
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You can get a cream for that - your doctor may help, but I can't. No.
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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CAUSTIC
C 100
AU aussie
STIC tics (no idea where K went)
Software rusts. Simon Stephenson, ca 1994. So does this signature. me, 2012
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You are up Monday!
The solution is close:
Are one hundred C
small Australian AUS
parasites TICk burning?
CAUSTIC
The "K" disappears via the magic of question marks. 
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Nice one I got sidetracked with Ic for one hundred ( at the beginning of the word ) 
We can’t stop here, this is bat country - Hunter S Thompson RIP
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Dead ant ... dead ant ... dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead annnnnnnnnt.
I'll get me coat.
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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That joke is as old as me 
We can’t stop here, this is bat country - Hunter S Thompson RIP
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Havent heard that since I was about 7 years old. 
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Then it's time it was brought back!
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Also where was the Pink Panther born?
Durrrrhammm, Durrrrhammm, Durrrrhammm....
Pink Panther jokes... Haven't heard them in years...
Want your coat? I'll get it and mine at the same time...
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What material are the Pink Panther's jeans made out of?
Denim, denim, deniiiiiiiimmmmmm
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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A true 'count-my-blessings' moment . . . I never heard a Pink Panther joke.
That is, until this moment, which will go down in infamy.
| Ravings en masse^ |
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| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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I'd managed to suppress the second grade...until now.
I'll be forwarding my therapy bills, thanks!
"Never attribute to malice that which can be explained by stupidity."
- Hanlon's Razor
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No problem - address them to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington, DC 20500, for the personal attention of Donald.
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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It reminds me of how Bruce Wayne was called in when his food was ready...
Dinner dinner, dinner dinner, dinner dinner, dinner dinner.... Batman!!!
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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Ha! That joke caused me to remember the scene in Revenge of the Nerds.
"When you are dead, you won't even know that you are dead. It's a pain only felt by others; same thing when you are stupid."
Ignorant - An individual without knowledge, but is willing to learn.
Stupid - An individual without knowledge and is incapable of learning.
Idiot - An individual without knowledge and allows social media to do the thinking for them.
modified 19-Nov-21 21:01pm.
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