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Rage wrote: final project in CS
Now I feel old... My 'goodbye-project' was in assembly of mainframe running a 'virus' imitating disk formating...
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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Oh all the time!
And they call up and go "WTF is this software doing now!?"
I say sorry, I'll look at it.......
Latent bugs anyway.
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Years ago I wrote an application internally for the business which created a printable catalogue from items salespeople selected.
On the 100th catalogue each salesperson printed an image of Cliff Richard appeared with the words "Congratulations" below the image.
The salespeople would get excited each time someone saw the easter egg and begged me to reset their count to 99 - which of course Ii refused as it would have been highly unprofessional of me to do that.
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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Yes, tons of them. Users call them bugs and they aren't have if they find them.
Ohh, I forgot to mention the surprise that they'll find when I have left the company... 
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Many years ago in my VB days:
Every 17th time the mouse-over event of an icon was hit, the finger pointer would briefly change to the middle finger. I thought it was funny, didn't take too much time and I thought no one would ever notice.
An hour after releasing it to testing, the lead tester came to my office smiling and asking, "did your app just give me the finger?"
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. -- Groucho Marx
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No, they're unprofessional, and they're hacker magnets.
Let me tell you about the one time I put an easter egg in software. On a particular release of a very ancient embedded product, there was a statement you could execute in the product's programming language, that listed the names of the software developers. We shipped the product with the easter egg. In the fullness of time, one of the engineers showed the easter egg to a hardware guy (whose name wasn't on the list). This nominally grown up person went to management crying because hardware wasn't represented in the easter egg.
Well of course the easter egg had to go. But the idea proved irresistible. The mechanical engineers had the injection mold for the plastic case modified to include the signatures of about 120 people who had even the most marginal relationship to the product. So if you have an old Fluke 9100A lying around, dissassemble it, and look inside the back of the keyboard case.
The most telling reason to remove the easter egg turned out to be that customers who knew the names of any of the product engineers had a bad habit of bypassing customer service to get the "real scoop" on the product by calling the switchboard and asking to speak to an engineer by name. Nobody wanted to get these calls...
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Takes ages and a lifetime with a fake credit card (10)
Pleonastic - The use of more words than are necessary
ages - eon
lifetime - eon
fake - plastic
credit card - plastic
Even gave you an extra clue in the title.
modified 23-Nov-17 7:08am.
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Yes, but the clue really should have been something about ages in something that gives plastic. Ages and a lifetime suggests two separate words stuck together, and fake does not really suggest plastic. And where is the definition part that suggests more words?
This message brought to you courtesy of the CCC Rule Police
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0. I didn't specifically say in as it's to obvious but I did say Takes {eon} with {plastic}
1. If someone says "it takes ages and a lifetime" then that is an example of pleonasm, which is why it's structured with the 'and'.
2. plastic is a synonym of fake. I use it in reference to Football Fans who claim to be an avid fan of Man Utd, say, but have never been to Old Trafford. See the list of synonyms [^] for the first definition.
3. See 1. also I gave two clues for each word so used more words than necessary, we've had spoonerism and paradox which used a similar concept recently.
4. I remembered 5 minutes before I posted, cut me some slack man!
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I'm just trying to make excuses for my abysmal failure ever to get a CCC.
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Quote: we've had spoonerism
Hey - don't blame me!!! 
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Hi,
I dislike Apples business practices so was a Blackberry, now Android user. My issue is my stately (old) Galaxy S6 I noticed gained an extra G in the Google button so it now reads Email, Internet, Play Store & GGoogle. Have I drunkly edit the text in the button (unlikely as I saw yesterday, stone cold sober this week) or has the latest update kicked something...
Glenn
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would you prefer a mmmmmicrosoft?
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Hmm, let me think, no, H e double hockey sticks no.
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what beer you are taking right now? 
Starting to think people post kid pics in their profiles because that was the last time they were cute - Jeremy Falcon.
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Charles Petzold is sometimes known for producing large and wordy tomes. I started with Creating
Mobile Apps with Xamarin.Forms, and several days later am only on chapter 9 of 27, and all he has done is basic hello world apps, and written a million words the Xamarin student must wade through, discussing how great XAML is.
Any recommendations for a book to quickly get up to speed producing mobile, especially Android, apps using Xamarin would be most welcome.
"'Do what thou wilt...' is to bid Stars to shine, Vines to bear grapes, Water to seek its level; man is the only being in Nature that has striven to set himself at odds with himself."
—Aleister Crowley
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I've been building native Android apps (using Xamarin) for a little over a year now. The productivity and ability to share code using C#/VS is awesome! Apart from a foray into Xamarin Forms about 2+ years ago, I decided to stay away from it for a while. Instead, I focused on learning the Android platform, which I did by reading most of this book before writing a single line of code:
It worked out pretty well! 
/ravi
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Thanks, Ravi, that book looks ideal.
"'Do what thou wilt...' is to bid Stars to shine, Vines to bear grapes, Water to seek its level; man is the only being in Nature that has striven to set himself at odds with himself."
—Aleister Crowley
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It's an easy read - well written and useful. I think you'll like it.
/ravi
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My book is a lot easier if you skip a lot of exercises. The time it takes to print "Hello world" with "Hello" in bold, on my emulator just isn't worth it. The build and deploy time is much more than the coding time. I am getting to some nicer exercises now that he's spent n chapters telling us how good XAML a fit is for cross-platform.
"'Do what thou wilt...' is to bid Stars to shine, Vines to bear grapes, Water to seek its level; man is the only being in Nature that has striven to set himself at odds with himself."
—Aleister Crowley
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How about reading every 10th page only ?
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Can't wait to hear how many chapters he has on publishing an app on the Play Store. Let me guess, that's chapters 10-27. 
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I've gotten more useful information about programming from Charles Petzold than any other writer I've read. I doubt I'd be doing this for a living now if I hadn't had the good sense to buy his early Windows books.
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And I'm sure I'll say the same about Xaml Forms (at least) when I eventually get round to finishing his Xaml Forms book. I already know more than average about the deeper workings of WPF, because I started there with a Petzold book.
"'Do what thou wilt...' is to bid Stars to shine, Vines to bear grapes, Water to seek its level; man is the only being in Nature that has striven to set himself at odds with himself."
—Aleister Crowley
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