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Similar to the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition, how about we create CP rules of Software Development?
I'll start:
If you announce to the universe that you have nothing to do, the universe will find an annoying bug for you to fix.
If this goes anywhere, I'll collate the list and post it, um, as a tip, I guess?
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From the FRoA 34 & 35:
Quote: War is good for software development
Quote: Peace is good for software development
(I was just watching DS9: S03, E15 "Destiny" after lunch - coincidence?)
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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FRoA 47 can go through unchanged: Quote: Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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what happened to
Quote: don't trust anyone that opens with, "I can help."
??
This internet thing is amazing! Letting people use it: worst idea ever!
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So can FRoA 112, "Never have sex with the boss' sister." 
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Bosses daughter?
If your neighbours don't listen to The Ramones, turn it up real loud so they can.
“We didn't have a positive song until we wrote 'Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue!'” ― Dee Dee Ramone
"The Democrats want my guns and the Republicans want my porno mags and I ain't giving up either" - Joey Ramone
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The length of time required to learn a new Microsoft paradigm / language / framework is inversely proportional to it's lifetime.
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On that basis, you should be able to pick up C++ in about three minutes...
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Maybe you missed the "Microsoft" keyword...
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Well ... It started as "C with classes" in 79, and Turbo C++ was out in 1990. But then came Visual C++ in 93, and pretty much since then if you reached for a C++ project, you reached for a MS product (Embedded excepted, I had some success with Embedded C++ on ARM processors at the beginning of the century)
OK, Turbo C is still out there, but the last release was 12 years ago - name me a mainstream C++ IDE that doesn't come with the MS logo?
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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 I thought this thread was supposed to be humorous. Apparently not...
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C++ is not a frivolous language! It's the "Uncle in accounting" of programming languages.
(C# can crack a joke from time to time, and VB is the Special Needs cousin you hope can't make it to the party)
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Hey, I thought that was a joke 8)
MS may have implemented a few versions of C++, but had nothing to do with the original definition of the language (other than to implement slightly non-compliant versions) and still only have an input to the language design (rather than controlling it).
Just shows how blinkered an idea one gets of the dev ecosystem if one has never stepped outside the MS universe I suppose.
(I started using C++ from its very earliest days, developed for Windows and Linux with it for over 20 years, and never once did I do that with a Microsoft product.)
HA HA HA HA <bonk>
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It took me nearly three minutes just to get the shrink-wrap off the manual!
This also tells you how long ago it was!
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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Never fix one bug when refactoring the entire module could bag you 50 more bugs.
Corollary: Always try and get your manager to bonus you on the number of bugs you fix.
cheers
Chris Maunder
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Chris Maunder wrote: Always try and get your manager to bonus you on the number of bugs you fix.
You are such a good employer. CP devs, ask for bonus. We promise we will flood the sugs and bugs forum.
"It is easy to decipher extraterrestrial signals after deciphering Javascript and VB6 themselves.", ISanti[ ^]
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Oh no! Do we really need the whole bible?
Quote: "What are we going to do?"
"What a Ferengi always does in a situation this grave."
"Panic?"
"No, you idiot! He goes to the Rules of Acquisition. Unabridged and fully annotated with all 47 commentaries, all 900 major and minor judgments, all 10,000 considered opinions. There's a rule for every conceivable situation."
I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats.
His last invention was an evil Lasagna. It didn't kill anyone, and it actually tasted pretty good.
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Software management 5th amendment: "it all depends".
If you can keep your head while those about you are losing theirs, perhaps you don't understand the situation.
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Productivity is inversely proportional to the amount of time spent in meetings.
The most difficult bugs to find are always in the "simplest" code.
The longer it takes to explain your code the more likely it is that you don't understand it.
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We are all Dilbert
I'm pretty sure I would not like to live in a world in which I would never be offended.
I am absolutely certain I don't want to live in a world in which you would never be offended.
Freedom doesn't mean the absence of things you don't like.
Dave
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He who does the least gets paid the most.
And from despair.com...
If you're not part of the solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.
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Oh, this should be an easy project. That is until you find out all of the requirements.
Common sense is admitting there is cause and effect and that you can exert some control over what you understand.
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And you will never know all the requirements.
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Requirements are top secrete, no one is allowed to truly know them all. Even the requester isn't allowed to know what they seek.
Common sense is admitting there is cause and effect and that you can exert some control over what you understand.
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