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Technically I was out of time, but you knew I'd got it from the beginning, so I'll do tomorrows (I got delayed getting back to the computer).
I'll make tomorrow's a hard one (so it'll probably get solved in 2 minutes or less) 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Hi All,
Just a final post, got home put frozen pizza in oven, had a beer put BBC news on, fell asleep, woke an 2 hours later by the smoke alarm, got burnt circle out of oven(  ). My advise don't attempted to heat food and work!
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Good advice, Glenn. If it's any consolation, that's something all of us have either done, or will do, one day.
Will Rogers never met me.
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Maybe that's why my new oven won't let me simply turn it on. I have to tell it how long to stay on, after which it turns off (with a very audible signal - I set it to maximum level).
It is a hassle when you check the food, and it needs only five minutes more: I can't just leave it in there fore another five minutes and then turn it off, but have to select one of fourteen baking modes and set the timer anew. I guess I will get used to it, and do the reprogramming without having to engage my brain, within a couple of months.
Actually, I never thought of a scenario like the one you describe. It sure gives good reasons for the oven to operate that way.
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never thought of making an ovan like this. Maybe the future considering microwave-ovans have been like this for decades without much huff-puff?
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While we are at it: The user manual contained a list of no less than six different open source software packets (with copies of the licese agreement) used in the baking oven, among them a JPEG-package.
What the h* does a baking oven need a JPEG package for? I sort of could understand it if it gave me a menu for baking turkey, bread, pizza... with photos of all the alternatives (I really don't see the need for that - distinguishing between chicken and turkey is far easier by text than by image!) - but it doesn't. Menues are textual, other indicators are line graphics. I really wonder what the JPEG software is for!
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No it doesn't. Microwaves have had + minute buttons that don't require changing/resetting any other options for years.
Your oven was just designed by an elephanting sunshine.
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, weighing all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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That's the easiest way to burn calories! 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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A few years ago, I walked out of the house, and could hear this "Beep, beep, beep" noise. Tracked it down to an elderly neighbour - it was her smoke alarm.
She had one of those "lavender pillows" you heat in the microwave for 30 seconds and put on your lap for pain relief? She stuffed it in the micro, wound the timer knob to max and went back to her chair, where she fell asleep ... And I could hear it from 100m through 2 foot thick stone walls.
Wrecked the microwave, I had to redecorate the kitchen, but she was OK. Just glad I checked her smoke alarms every month. 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Your good deeds don't go unnoticed 
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Neither do the rest of them
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
modified 8-Aug-17 5:13am.
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A neighbour across the road went on vacation, and we had the constant "beep, beep" from his burglar alarm from shortly after they left, lasting for a week. I talked to one of the other tenants in the 4-apartment building: He knew very well what had caused the alarm to go off for no appearant reason; it was a well known problem. We would just have to wait until the family returned home...
I was lucky, compared to him: My house is separate, across the road. He was living in the same house as the 24/7 burglar alarm beep. He just shrugged "Such is life!" (and getting sucher and sucher every day...)
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If it's any consolation to you, my first experiences with a microwave were not very pleasant:
Tried a pizza, but it came out feeling like a wet spunge.
Tried pea-soup, but it exploded as I did not put a spoon in it, the whole microwave was splattered under !
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Microwaves have two big uses:
1) Melting butter. 20 seconds, rest 10 seconds, nuke for another 10 seconds. Ready for making Hasselback potatoes. 
2) As a Cat Safe: a secure facility for food to cool before being bagged for the fridge or freezer.
For everything else, I hate it.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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OriginalGriff wrote: As a Cat Safe
You put the cat in there to keep it safe. 
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I am expressly forbidden by Herself from putting the cat in the microwave under any circumstances, regardless of provocation. 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Maybe if you just put some parts of the cat in the microwave oven? She didn't expressly tell you to not put parts of the cat in, did she?*
* If she did mention that, and I were you, I'd not sleep well at night.
| Ravings en masse^ |
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| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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A separate injunction revokes my ability to remove body parts.
Something to do with the "They do well on three legs" and "Curried cat leg" plans IIRC.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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That's not how you're supposed to do hasselbackspotatis. But if it works, who cares.
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Ah the microwave or as I refer to it the magical ding box, didn't grow up with one so don't trust em' !
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It is the machine that goes "Ping!"
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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OriginalGriff wrote: the machine that goes "Ping!"
You mean... they're not only used in hospitals nowadays? 
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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No, no, anyone can lease it back from the company they sold it to, and that way, it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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RickZeeland wrote: Tried pea-soup, but it exploded as I did not put a spoon in it, the whole microwave was splattered under !
Everybody knows that eggs will explode in a microwave; a tremendous pressure is built up until the shell can't hold it any more.
Or so I thought it was. I boiled an egg (the traditional way), peeled it, to realize that it was much too soft. So I put it on a small plate in the microwave to give it ten seconds extra. And it exploded.
It turns out that the pressure does not build up inside the shell, but inside the yolk. When it explodes (when some membrane covering it cannot hold it more), it explodes and ruptures the shell if it is there. It explodes just as much without shell being there.
If you need an excuse for (having to) cleaning up your microwave properly, try this out!
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Well, I leave the microweaving to my spouse from now on, thank you ...
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