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Mark, you are spot on. About everything. I have nothing to say except that you should know I read every word and agree. Turns out I'm in a toxic environment, and it's brought out the worst in me. I needed to read this. Thanks.
Jeremy Falcon
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A "really smart" person would figure out that there is as much to be learned from others, what not to do, for example, for himself.
I believe you have been spending too much time in front of a mirror, or maybe you have some social disorder. I would look into that.
Other people do not stifle your "personal development or growth", you do.
Just so you know that I understand, I have an IQ of 141. Your problem is not with your "intelligence" it is with your empathy. I would knock of the "Humble Bragging", and worry more about what you are contributing to society than what it is doing for you.
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You're actually spot on. I've come to realize over the weekend that I'm just in a toxic environment. My weaknesses have shown through because of it. It's not something I'm proud of, but I can remove myself from the toxicity at least, so I can go back to being a good person... or at least try to be.
Jeremy Falcon
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I have this problem too (Sorry this was how I read it!)  Go for Marcs solution if you can.
"In situations where you clearly know you're the smartest in the room, save a few germs you meet on occasion?"
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Oh I'm not oversensitive. it is a problem if one can't learn to handle it. I mean the end result is we should all be happy right? So in that respect it's a problem. About to check out his post...
Jeremy Falcon
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Jeremy,
I have walked your path to discover:
Frustration = (Expectation - Reality) * EGO; // I had it posted on my wall to remind me
So, we become so smart, that we see where Reality SHOULD BE (Expectation), and that DIFFERENCE is a little unnerving (people who think nobody should starve, realizing millions are starving).
The last factor is your EGO (or mine, back then). It makes the problem worse.
If you had NO EGO, the difference would not bother you. This is often thought of wisdom. where the wise old man laughs at the folly of the youthful in tilting at windmills.
Also, when everything is as it should be, all is fine. One feels no frustration.
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Wow, man I have nothing to say except that's you're spot on. I keep getting caught up in the should be this way mentality. I've also come to learn that I'm just in a toxic environment, and that's only made the issue worse... my EGO and weaknesses have shown through a bit too much.
I'm glad I talked to you guys (CP) about this.
Jeremy Falcon
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That's a great formula! 
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There are so many things you could do...
- Get over yourself. Your writing isn't that smart. You're probably misperceiving how much other people "get it". I'm a smart guy too, but I never claim to be the smartest guy in the room. Even if it might be true, you must develop the habit of slapping yourself whenever you begin to think that, and look for the things you're missing that your colleagues are getting.
- Marry a smart woman. She'll put you in your place post haste, not necessarily by putting you down, but merely by having brilliant insights you hadn't had.
- Get a new job working with/for smart people. When interviewing, I always say my goal is to be the dumbest guy in the room, so I can learn the most.
- Learn something new and technical. That'll put you in your place right away. Get that dumbass novice feeling back. It'll make you more humble. And if it doesn't, then you just were lazy and didn't pick something hard enough.
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Not really interested in your condescending post. Go away.
Jeremy Falcon
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Wasn't intended as condescention, but as a list of antidotes for feeling like you're the smartest person in the room. I get that if you were humble-bragging, you don't really want this list.
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Fair enough. I suppose if I felt superior and liked it then I'd need a dose of keep-it-real medicine; it wouldn't give me anxiety though if I liked it. I tried to make that point clear. Maybe I should've tried harder. In retrospect it may be due to communication issues that are deep rooted in me. And being in a toxic environment didn't really help.
I get where you're coming from though. Putting myself in your place I'd probably assume the same thing.
Jeremy Falcon
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I understand your feelings.
I have a developer friend who felt more or less the same as you describe - he was IMHO the smartest person around his work circle (a government financial institution), and was actually treated like a rock star by his peers. He really SHINED, but felt unsatisfied and was looking for a much bigger intellectual challenge. He actually managed to enter a top-tier software company, and the frustration went the other way; now he was surrounded by extremely smart people that often offered better solutions, or could program much faster than he could; the bar got so high that suddenly he had become just an average developer. He tries to stay positive and humble, as he is now in a position where he is learning and pushing himself more; he also misses - A LOT - his old job 
I guess that what I'm somehow trying to express is that frustration can go both ways and as much as everything in life, job satisfaction is a delicate act of balance. I know - easier said than done.
I sincerely hope brighter days lay ahead for you! =)
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That's exactly it!!! Here, I'm the only person that's gotten a rockstar award like - ever. And I know I'm not the best developer in the world. But here you'd think I was. This is exactly what I'm going through, and well at times I miss being able to grow. Here I'm stagnant.
Thanks for the kind words.
Jeremy Falcon
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This will take real self awareness and reflection, and I think using the words "smartest person in the room" is dangerous because it can make you arrogant and complacent. Avoid situations and companies where you are the only person learning and growing, but be open to learning from others. Everyone needs to learn to identify what other people know that they don't. Without knowing the specifics of your situation maybe the truth is that the other people are merely interested in learning different things?
On the other hand, most companies are stagnant and a little stupid and the fact that they haven't yet bankrupted themselves or been superseded by a smarter more nimble competitor is remarkable!
Idaho Edokpayi
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Thanks for this man. And what you speak of is truth. What I think the issue really is, rather than saying everyone is stupid, is we have a bunch of people with social anxiety issues here that are overly stressed. Getting in their heads too much and thus not paying attention to anything. So they lack clarity.
Idaho Edokpayi wrote: On the other hand, most companies are stagnant and a little stupid and the fact that they haven't yet bankrupted themselves or been superseded by a smarter more nimble competitor is remarkable!
Preach it brother.
Jeremy Falcon
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I think many of us have been where you are. The truth is that for most of us THERE IS NO HAPPY PLACE. Maybe you can work for yourself?
As coders we have to learn that most businesses are not in the business of code - stupid code is ok as long as it makes money. However, business does not seem to be aware of the extent that code can disrupt the current way that they do business.
Idaho Edokpayi
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I know what you mean man, but it's not even so much code related. It's just cognitive acumen I'm referring to. The code can suffer as a result of that, but I wouldn't expect business people to know code no more than I expect me to be an expert mechanic when taking my truck to the shop.
Anyway, it's amazing what stress and social anxiety can do. Never really seen just how much it messes with a person until you get a group of people together that all have it.
Jeremy Falcon
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I am speaking to the value assigned to developers and people who aggressively use technology to solve problems. A kid with some javascript and a database can replace thousands of human hours of labor in a week.
Idaho Edokpayi
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Don't worry about what the other boys do, worry about what you do. Use your gift by all means, but don't brag or criticise others for not being a clever as you. Help them because one day you'll need someone to help you. No-one is invincible; if you pay it forward it will come back to you by another route.
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I know you're correct in every sense of the words you speak. I have my weaknesses too I suppose, just in different areas. Also, I find that I'm more business-y now and less IT-y as I continue to grow. So my job has to change along with that so I can stay happy. And with happiness comes the ability to do the stuff you mention.
Thank you for your reply.
Jeremy Falcon
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Do exercise bikes get you nowhere?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Actually, no:
- Aerobic exercise improves state-of-mind, or enhances your enlightenment.
- Aerobic exercise can also enlighten the body, as long as you don't eat to compensate.
Those are two good places to go.
Software Zen: delete this;
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I spoke to those who should know: go peddle that tire-some trash elsewhere!
| Ravings en masse^ |
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| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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Exactly. Keep it wheel or hit the road.
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