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"It works on my machine."
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For comedy value, you can't beat:
"Windows 10 is the best Windows ever!"
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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I'm never sure if I've heard a joke somewhere or made it up myself (I like to think the latter) but...
What's the difference between Windows 1.0 and Windows 10?
Windows 10 has no point!
I'll get my coat.
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Unfortunately, there's one thing I can't blame winio for, and that's the 191 lines of reply to you that simply vanished because I dared to use the COMCTL32 Save window (it's not a dialog), which crashed notepad++ simply because I wanted to save what I had already written (I could still see the window, behind the "Notepad++ has crashed" notification, so I know it was 191 lines) (google the problem, and just imagine my anger at having lost so much time because of a @#$%^&* OS error).
That problem has existed since weven, and it's a pretty fruggin' major problem, but adding baby blocks and spyware were obviously more important to MS than fixing major problems for their users.
I'll go through it all again when my blood pressure drops below volcanic.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Chris Maunder wrote: what are your favourite IT related quotes?
How is yours IT related? 
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Well, at least you're not a Linux evangelist.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Obviously you haven't had to work with Marketing!
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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I never said it didn't apply to IT. I'm simply saying not only to IT. More like, anyplace anywhere anytime 
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Zeker, maar het was Linux Torvalds.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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"Umm that's not a drink holder ma'am. That's your CD-ROM drive"
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David Bradley was the guy that wrote the original code for CTRL-ALT_DEL to reboot the IBM PC. During a 20 year PC anniversary event Bradley and Bill Gates were both on stage as part of a panel discussion when the topic of the keys came up.
"I may have invented it, but Bill made it famous." ~ David Bradley (IBM retired)
Gates didn't laugh.
That's what I do. I drink, and I know things. ~ Tyrion Lannister
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You're missing the S in Torvalds for the link, but don't quote me on that.
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I'd rather have a bottle in front of me instead of a frontal lobotomy.
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"The best way to improve Windows is run it on a Mac."
"The best way to bring a Mac to its knees is to run Windows on it."
Yup, from my signature below...
The best way to improve Windows is run it on a Mac.
The best way to bring a Mac to its knees is to run Windows on it.
~ my brother Jeff
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Chris Maunder wrote: what are your favourite IT related quotes?
"I have only proved the joke funny; I did not try it"
... a misquote of D.E.Knuth who famously said "Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.", described here[^].
I'm retired. There's a nap for that...
- Harvey
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Come to think of it, the original quote is somewhat of a knee slapper too.
I'm retired. There's a nap for that...
- Harvey
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linky no worky
#SupportHeForShe
Government can give you nothing but what it takes from somebody else. A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take everything you've got, including your freedom.-Ezra Taft Benson
You must accept 1 of 2 basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not alone. Either way, the implications are staggering!-Wernher von Braun
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Actual call to support:
"My cup holder won't open"
If it's not broken, fix it until it is
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As we know, there are known knowns. There are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns. That is to say, we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns; the one we don't know we don't know.
(IT? Well, in all honesty, I'm sure this nugget was forwarded under truly knowing circumstances. So please forgive me if you deem it not IT)
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Was Rumsfeld talking about quantum computing instead of lying about Iraq? 
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Look, we all have something to bring to this discussion. But I think from now on the thing you should bring is silence.
— Arnold Rimmer, Red Dwarf
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What? No-one posted the classic:
There are only two hard things in Computer Science: cache invalidation, naming things and off-by-one errors.
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"I thought you called to confess." – said by a sysadmin as we investigated why a production server magically rebooted.
- great coders make code look easy
- When humans are doing things computers could be doing instead, the computers get together late at night and laugh at us. - ¿Neal Ford?
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One of my favourites of all time:
"More people have ascended bodily to heaven than have shipped great software on time." Jim McCarthy
One of my co-workers once said in a meeting in which we were discussing null:
"There are many different kinds of nothing." Trevor Stokes
Cheers,
Mike Fidler
"I intend to live forever - so far, so good." Steven Wright
"I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met." Also Steven Wright
"I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't matter." Steven Wright yet again.
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A story I was told by an engineer at One IBM Plaza in Chicago, IL was that there was a model of the S/360 that was so buggy that the engineers threw it into Lake Michigan where it...
Sank intermittently.
Psychosis at 10
Film at 11
Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it.
Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.
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