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The same as every day at work:
Get a cup of ![Java | [Coffee]](https://codeproject.global.ssl.fastly.net/script/Forums/Images/coffee.gif) .
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Not good...I'm a heretic...Do not drink coffee...
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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You asked
Quote: What would be the first thing you do
So I answered what I would do, not what you might do. If you have asked "what I would do" (meaning you here), I (me now), may have answered that there might be also tea in the cup 
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Burn him! Burn him with fire!
And I hear that he doesn't eat BACON either... clearly not a real developer... 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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OriginalGriff wrote: And I hear that he doesn't eat BACON either
Where did you heard that?!
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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The NSA told me!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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OriginalGriff wrote: The NSA GCHQ told me!
FTFY 
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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As always - NSA hears all, but tells as less as possible...
I DO eat bacon - goose and turkey bacon
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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Kornfeld Eliyahu Peter wrote: I DO eat bacon - goose and turkey bacon
bacon - definition of bacon in English from the Oxford dictionary[^]
I'm sorry, but both the Oxford Dictionary of English and Merriam-Webster (for those who speak the U.S. dialect) refer to bacon as being made from pigs. Cured goose or turkey aren't called bacon.
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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Psss...I only try to confuse NSA...
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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Pah! Mock bacon!
That's like eating Carob and calling it Chocolate!
Or Budweiser and calling it beer... 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Horrors! For the last thirty-five years I was under the impression that the mark of a true developer was drinking caffeine, eating pizza, and working odd hours!
(bows head in shame)
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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Nah...BACON is definitely involved in the process!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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My pizzas always have BACON on them!
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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coffee, bacon? what nonsense are you talking about. the only sustenance developers need is chips, and maybe with a little bug sauce.
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Quote: Not good...I'm a heretic...Do not drink coffee...
Who's talking about coffee? The only civilised drink is a nice cup of tea.
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Amen!
At my previous place of employment (a startup), they asked for suggestions on how the work environment could be improved. I asked for afternoon tea and biscuits to be served on proper china.
Needless to say, my suggestion was not accepted, and the company shut down soon after. I don't think there was a connection...
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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Daniel Pfeffer wrote: Needless to say, my suggestion was not accepted, and the company shut down soon after. I don't think there was a connection...
Of course there was a connection. We wouldn't have built such a large empire without tea and tiffin at 4 o'clock in the afternoon. EDIT It all went to pot once coffee was introduced. EDIT
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Put my feet up for a couple of days, and pretend that I'm catching up on my e-mail.
(I'm really glad I use a "screen name" to post here)
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Check if my key card still works.
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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Long coffee break, then long-lunch, then another coffee break, then go home early.
«There is a spectrum, from "clearly desirable behaviour," to "possibly dodgy behavior that still makes some sense," to "clearly undesirable behavior." We try to make the latter into warnings or, better, errors. But stuff that is in the middle category you don’t want to restrict unless there is a clear way to work around it.» Eric Lippert, May 14, 2008
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So, just a regular day; nothing special.
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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Tap into any email I missed, before its neccary to burn the midnight oil on some problem which is already known
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Take a rest after a busy vacation! 
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Kornfeld Eliyahu Peter wrote: What would be the first thing you do at the office when back from a 2 week vacation?
I'd either be thinking, I sure am glad I have an awesome job that I look forward to coming back to, or I'd be thinking, why am I wasting my life sitting in this cubicle, sifting through a couple hundred emails, catching up on git commits, and reviewing the latest JIRA bug reports?
Marc
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