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swaps? (it's totally a guess)
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FRIED? (another total guess!)
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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We have a system that takes messages from a JMS queue, and then processes them on the back end of a Unix server. Recently it has started taking some (a very small number of the total) messages, but not processing them. No errors, no logging, some messages merely disappear.
We've checked everything from our side, it is undoubtedly taking the messages from the queue, but somehow those messages are lost at some point.
So we've asked the vendor to investigate.
They refuse to do so without a screenshot of the problem occuring.
I've just replied letting them know I'll rustle up a screenshot of something not happening in a process on the backend of a server for them.
Just as soon as I've finished bottling unicorn farts.
Six and a half days to go.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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73
"You'd have to be a floating database guru clad in a white toga and ghandi level of sereneness to fix this goddamn clusterfuck.", BruceN[ ^]
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Wrong... it is 42
M.D.V. 
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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Not anymore. 73 is a better number. If you don't trust me, ask Sheldon[^].
"You'd have to be a floating database guru clad in a white toga and ghandi level of sereneness to fix this goddamn clusterfuck.", BruceN[ ^]
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Send 'em a screenshot of a blank screen? 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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A number of years back, I was working on a system that automatically created and approved invoices upon receipt of materials. The auditor asked to see screen shots of the process: invoice being entered, invoice being created, invoice being approved.
I reiterated: it is an automated process - it all happens as part of the invoice creation. I might as well have talked to a rock...
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Take a screenshot of the service manager showing that Automated Invoice Processing Service is running. Ctrl-C Ctrl-V Ctrl-C Ctrl-V
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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I once got a silly request from a PM, as though that never happens, when I explained there was absolutely no value in creating the feature his response was that it was an audit requirement, checkmate, just build the bloody thing.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity
RAH
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It is two. Does this mean I am under 5?
Shouldn't 0000 be 0?
"You'd have to be a floating database guru clad in a white toga and ghandi level of sereneness to fix this goddamn clusterfuck.", BruceN[ ^]
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Your original answer was wrong, your modified version is right.
But...if you got it right, then you'd know why 0000 is 4, rather than 0...
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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I just had number 2 and a '.'. It got modified to numbered list. 
OriginalGriff wrote: But...if you got it right, then you'd know why 0000 is 4, rather than 0.
closed curve: 4, circle: 0
"You'd have to be a floating database guru clad in a white toga and ghandi level of sereneness to fix this goddamn clusterfuck.", BruceN[ ^]
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2581 = 2. 
Edit: I didn't know it was answered already.
Don't mind those people who say you're not HOT. At least you know you're COOL.
I'm not afraid of falling, I'm afraid of the sudden stop at the end of the fall! - Richard Andrew x64
modified 15-Mar-16 5:01am.
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2581=2
Vote up or Mark as Answered, if this information helped you.
Kind Regards - Kunal Chowdhury, Windows Platform Development MVP
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I had to google it too and the clue is in an under five solving it 
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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Yeah.
I missed that as well...
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Exactly. You have to be as smart as an under five and no smarter.
I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!
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Ahh, many answered. So, looks like I took 25 mints to find it out.
Vote up or Mark as Answered, if this information helped you.
Kind Regards - Kunal Chowdhury, Windows Platform Development MVP
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Very clever, took me a couple of minutes; although I (sort of) cheated by reading the other responses first.
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Are you trying to unlock an Apple iPhone ?
I'd rather be phishing!
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