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This actually made me perform a physical chuckle...versus, say, a mental chuckle. 
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Gee, I thought it would make you purr.
Mongo: Mongo only pawn... in game of life.
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I also say neigh to horse puns and sheep puns are just baad.
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Applying butter to this pun and tossing it twirlingly into the air seem most apropos.
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A large whisker on the rocks should make you feel a lot better.
Life is too shor
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Microsoft pesters people continually to upgrade their PCs to Windows 10. Annoying as all...
I am now getting pestered on my iPhone to upgrade to iOS 9.2.
Install Now
Install Tonight
Install Later
I have applications for work that break under 9.2; if I wanted to upgrade it, I would... stop requesting this multiple times a day!
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Did you post this using your iPhone? It couldn't read it.. have you tried upgrading to iOS 9.2?
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Yeah.... sitting at work enjoying Windows 7... but this machine is subject to weekly forced upgrades/patching as well.
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Try "later" 
Press F1 for help or google it.
Greetings from Germany
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No, be sassy! 
The sh*t I complain about
It's like there ain't a cloud in the sky and it's raining out - Eminem
~! Firewall !~
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I understood that reference!
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I've actually seen that done, a while a go someone was charged by their IT Provider to see if they could do a data dump of the customers data.
After they looked into it they also charged them for extracting that data.
Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians.
Help end the violence EAT BACON
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I was in a meeting the other week and kept interrupting to make important points, when this bloke said to me;
"I can't help but think that we have one mouth and two ears, so maybe you should speak less and listen more".
To which I replied "Well as we have one brain and two legs, maybe you should think less and f*** off more".
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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Should I think less? Dunno, I'd have to think about it.
I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!
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Definitely. 
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I find that I often get little epiphanies for a project while I am asleep. I should charge for the amount of sleep lost...
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Just found out my idol Pete Doherty was once married to Tony Blair[^].
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Did someone give DD a copy of Photoshop? 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Quote: pleaded guilty to possession of crack cocaine, heroin, cannabis and ketamine
Quote: in his younger days, Doherty worked as a drug dealer to pay for his drug habit
Quote: stole various items, including an old guitar and a laptop computer
As I see Tony Blair isn't the worst item on that list...
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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I'm guessing you googled him. Never ceases to amaze me how many people don't know of him or The Libertines music - so many have missed out.
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You right. I never ever heard of him, but basically it doesn't matter...I get a bad feeling every time I hear about an idol - one makes great music or other art and performance, but when not on the stage struggles with drugs and such...I can not separate the two...I feel sorry for him, but can't name him idol even the music is fantastic...
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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PompeyThree wrote: Never ceases to amaze me how many people don't know of him
Who the f*** is Pete Doherty?
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