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My Missus has lost the diamond out of the solitaire engagement ring and also 2 x 18 caret bracelets I bought in the early 90's ($600+) and the mid 90's replacement ($900+).
She now has no bracelets and no diamond in the ring.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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There are diamonds and there are diamonds. Unless you are Crown Prince of an Emirate, it is extremely unlikely that the diamonds you have seen on the fingers of anyone you know will be of sufficient quality to be completely impervious to all damage whatsoever. The guarantee also includes free regular inspection and professional cleaning of the stone and affords certain privileges with regard to trading-in the stone at a later date. It's actually a very attractive package (better than Tiffany's!) and I would certainly be featuring it in my ads were I a jeweler.
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Mohs scale diamond = perfect, ideal, flawless > Crown Prince of Emirate or Queen of England diamond >
diamond bought from Tiffany's for Elizabeth Taylor > diamond bought from Foobar Jeweler for average girl's engagement ring
Besides the guarantee usually includes regular free inspections and cleaning which is actually more than Tiffany's offers. If I was head of Foobar, I'd definitely be making that a headline of my ads!
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Two replies to the same message with the same information? It's starting to look like you're writing their adverts for them. 
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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The first one didn't come through immediately so I thought I'd hit the wrong button. But if they want to hire me ..... !
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The only thing that I don't get yet is why everyone so desperately decorates himself like a christmas tree.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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CDP1802 wrote: decorates himself like a christmas tree.
You decorate your Christmas tree with diamonds? Can you adopt me please? 
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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Please move to the end of the line. The other applicants arrived before you. 
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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I concur. What's the big deal with diamonds, rings, etc. They are just shiny rocks attached to bits of shiny metal after all!
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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Gold has excellent electrical properties and does not corrode. Diamonds can be used in all kinds of cutting tools. There are probably hundreds of more productive uses for them than decorating some aging primates
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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Well, diamonds are made of carbon after all.
Burns just fine.
But as the heat conductivity is five times that of copper it's at least pretty hard to set fire to.
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Tommy Boy quote...
[^]
Seems appropriate..
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Well, TBH I'm already questioning the state of mind of anyone willing to spend this sort of money on shiny rocks...
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The answer is SUBAQUA, or SUB-AQUA, by some standards, so after 3 hours of holding my breath I'll have to do it again. Can anyone give the solution to the cryptic bits.
veni bibi saltavi
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I thought "Jacques' kit" must be a reference to Monsieur Cousteau, but I couldn't see how "aqua-lung" could be seven letters. 
EDIT:
Aha!
- "Less than" ⇒ "sub";
- "Indefinite" ⇒ "a" (an indefinite example of)
- "Capacity" ⇒ "qua[^]" (in the capacity of)
Very devious, and no mention of alcohol.
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
modified 5-Jun-15 8:52am.
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Yay! But I still have to do it again Monday.
Wonder if I can reuse an old clue?
veni bibi saltavi
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Occasionally I manage to post a useful answer in QA, and someone upvotes it and adds a reply comment indicating they have +5'ed it. Sometimes I reply "thanks", and sometimes I don't bother; no real reason, just how the mood takes me at that moment. If I get upvoted in the other forums I rarely see such a comment (unless I have solved a really difficult problem*), so there is no one to reply to. Am I considered rude if I don't respond in QA, or is it a given that we are all grateful for any positive votes?
*which does not happen often.
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In QA, you are considered rude if you respond to "Thank you" with "You're welcome" and don't provide additional codeZ... 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Considering how rude some people are over in QA, not saying something derogatory is considered the hight of good manners.
veni bibi saltavi
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That's really a matter of moods. When I'm in the mood for a discussion, for example, it's really rude when everybody agrees with me or just gives me upvotes.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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CDP1802 wrote: it's really rude when everybody agrees with me
No it isn't!
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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Excellent
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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Richard Deeming wrote: No it isn't!
Is too!
Mongo: Mongo only pawn... in game of life.
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Sorry, was this a five minute argument, or the full half-hour? 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQFKtI6gn9Y[^]
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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Just got around to reading it. 
Hay, I am not Griff and live here.
Mongo: Mongo only pawn... in game of life.
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