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There is all sorts of crazy going on where I work at the moment, power shifts in the management, arguments over who is to blame for various things, and now the dumbest request I have ever seen has come my way. I am resisting it, and have support from my manager to continue resisting, but as I said, there is a shift in the balance of power and we are being lined up to catch the sh*t when it hits the fan.
I've been summoned into a meeting tomorrow, one of the managers on my side has just phoned me up and asked me to go, be as polite and helpful as I can.
And to try not to walk out or hit anyone.
The worrying thing is, at the weekend I had a dream that I was in a meeting with some of those who will be present tomorrow. My final line in the dream meeting before storming out was "With all due respect, you can all go and f*** yourselves".
Until developments this morning there was no indication at all that I would be in a meeting with these people anytime soon.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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Repeat after me, "Hey, I'm here to help."
Charlie Gilley
<italic>Stuck in a dysfunctional matrix from which I must escape...
"Where liberty dwells, there is my country." B. Franklin, 1783
“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759
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chriselst wrote: And to try not to walk out or hit anyone.
That's generally good advice in a business meeting.
Too many witnesses.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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I sometimes think the only reason I've never killed anyone at work is because when you start I don't see how you could stop.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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Quote: because when you start I don't see how you could stop.
Maybe, but they can only hang you once no matter how many you kill ... so you might as well clean-up properly!
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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I sure wish THAT was less true.
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Sounds like you could use some hints from Simon Travaglia: clickety[^]
Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.
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I'm like that with peanuts.
Hold on... Don't read that the wrong way...
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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I wouldn't waste time or breath saying "with all due respect..."
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Oh you have to say that bit.
Then you can follow with almost anything and it isn't an insult. 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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OriginalGriff wrote: and it isn't an insult
Really? In my world you can add anything you want to "go elephant yourself" and it still just says "go elephant yourself". 
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Yes - but these are management dweebs and their brains are programmed by buzzwords and aphorisms.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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yeah, it's amazing what you can get away with letting slip out of your mouth if it's properly couched in that kind of nonsense.
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mikepwilson wrote: it's amazing what you can get away with letting slip out of your mouth if it's properly couched in that kind of nonsense
Usually, stuff that's couched in that kind of nonsense doesn't let anything slip, though, because there is zero other content.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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With all due respect, your non-positive work flow does not fit within our core competencies and will require a paradigm shift outside the "box". This will require meetings, pre-meetings and even pre-pre-meetings.
Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master. ~ George Washington
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That gets my buy in.
We'll have to touch base and assemble a tiger team with the right core competencies to move the ball forward.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Oh sh*t, my nightmare has come to CP!
I have one of them in the office, he no longer talks at me and will leave a meeting if I am part of it, self defence.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity
RAH
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It's good that you've on-boarded as a proactive change agent.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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"If I were ten years younger I'd take a flamethrower to this place!"
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The Money Pit!
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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If you know that it's the kind of meeting where you could lose your cool, you have to stop treating it like it's something important to you, and instead treat it as a game.
During the meeting, instead of thinking things that might make things not go well -- in fact, instead of bothering with any emotions at all -- look at each person in the room as if they are part of a role-play game that you're playing, and analyse what they say and how they behave to work out their objectives.
Managers et al might be trained to be sneaky, manipulative ****ers, but they're rarely as smart as they make themselves out to be, so any hidden or longer-term agenda can usually be quite easily spotted.
And devs win hands down at role-play games, logical analysis, and creative execution, so move it into your field of expertise. Analyse what is being said to spot manipulation and babysit, and think of a small list of statements/replies before choosing one to say, just like in a game.
It's a puzzle, a detective game. Look for clues, and figure out what you need to figure out, and try to only speak if it's to find out more information -- i.e. answer questions with questions, but avoid "why" questions; go for questions that all "players" will have to think about (e.g. a thoughtful "How will that affect ~~?", rather than challenging with "Why should we do that?", which the "character" will be ready for).
And remember that you don't have to win, so don't even try -- you only have to get through to the end of the "level".
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Mark_Wallace wrote: they are part of a role-play game
Bring dice.
[chriselst rolls a 6 and vanquishes foe]
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And take a walk around the building, first, to level up your sword.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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First 90%: pretty good.
Last 10%: dumb.
It failed the 2001 test.
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