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In all seriousness, the process your team is following is neither agile nor waterfall. It's non-existent. 
/ravi
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Reminds me of this[^].
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
Any organization is like a tree full of monkeys. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.
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::Maxxx looks around at his fellow developers, cautiously... Which one of you guys is this Jeeves Fellow?::
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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Makes me glad that I'm a one man team with management who has no clue how to coding works.
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It could be MUCH worse. You could not have a job at all, like myself ... but I'm not here for a sympathy party.
I've occupied positions of management as well as positions of programmer (in all various forms). When in a programming position (the nature of which was senior enough to allow me to actually communicate with "management") I took the position of educator. You see, people can become management, usually, not so much because of skill, but because of perseverance. In effect, they were so insecure with their capabilities that when their previous boss finally said "WTF", realized he/she could get a better job somewhere else, and told the current company to FOAD, it is possible that his blooming idiot of a mentor actually made it into management. (Obviously, this is a hypothetical situation ... but it has happened to me several times ... with a couple of different outcomes).
In any event, if you ever want to dethrone your resident idiot (RI), you need proof. Therefore, you too must embrace the role of educator. First, every time you talk to the RI and he/she (IT) publicly proclaims their idiocy, make a note of it (or multiple its). Then, in your spare time, (usually on weekends or Holidays  , write an article that first, documents the fact that IT said what IT said and then describe, with references, why IT is misinformed ... most importantly, document why this particular misconception is hurting your team's productivity and thereby the profitability of the company). With the last being the most salient point. Remember, your actual audience, is the RI's BOSS. Therefore, you cannot speak too much tech ... but enough to illustrate that the RI is actually an RI.
Keep the NATURE of this documentation a TOTAL secret. Communicate only with the RI, via email, with the express understanding that you are trying to HELP IT. However, never forget, you are in a hostile environment. You may think you have friends but there is always that one, insecure "helmut head", that is looking to make his/her way into your position via your decaying corpse. Don't give them any ammunition with which they can expedite your demise.
There are two possible outcomes:
1) Your RI is not really an RI at all ... they will take your advice, incorporate it into their management style and graduate from RI to the BEST friend you will EVER have in management. Not to mention, you will have the beginnings of a great tutorial to be used by the next IT hiring on-board.
2) Your RI is really a "BIG" RI. When this occurs, IT may push back. Be forgiving, this "push back" is exactly what you need to commit regiside (the killing of a King ... just an FYI ... no intent to insult). Continue on with your crusade ... email after email after email. Be loving and gentle ... humble ... courteous to a fault. And, never stop ... documenting everything. Sooner or later, you will have what you need ... to dethrone a "King".
Remember (this is the most important concept I can convey to you), most great technical groups are MADE ... not acquired via a successful interview and ultimate hiring by another organization. Instead of taking the role of heckler, adopt the role of mentor.
Trying to find nirvana by jumping from company to company will, frequently, find you jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire.
Grow your TEAM!
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excellent point. At the time I am reading this I am contemplating if I should jump ship in a similar situation. Your comments are weighing heavily as to whether this is the right thing to do. I will weigh any incoming offers on their merit and not on how jacked up my current process is, and I will make a wiser choice. Thanks.
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jeeves77 wrote:
I could write a novel, but nonetheless. I once wondered what it was like to work on a dysfunctional team, but now I think I know.
It could always be worse right? Right?!!
Father had a saying "Leave while you still have something nice to say about the place".
Mike
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The trouble with the word "agile" is that many people interpret it as meaning "Hey, we just do whatever we feel like doing, and the poor suckers who work for us have to live with it!"
What your company appears to be doing is so far away from agile that they should rename it arthritis.
Interestingly, the cure for most of the symptoms of the disease you appear to be suffering from would be to adopt agile methods -- the real ones.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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I'll wait for the novel...or the movie, whichever comes first. But I think the movie's already been done. I have a red stapler, is that a bad thing?
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Do you work with me by any chance? 
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I always want to throw up when I hear words like "agile", "sprint", "scrum", "burndown", "waterfall" and all the other trendy management buzzwords. Because it really means it's the currently fashionable form of crippling clusterf***. I'm glad I rarely have to work at places that do that. I prefer to work on projects by creating and following a list of tasks as well as possible, modifying them if necessary, keeping management and others who are affected apprised with quick status updates when there's anything worth reporting, and being trusted (through experience) to finish whatever needs doing in a reasonable amount of time, and having the finished application do what it's supposed to. And all the while communicating in real English words.
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Ignore RyanDev.
Listen to the other doctors who concur.
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I'm retired, and as such, I can, from experience, confidently say that "work sucks." Its near-universal. Only the degree of suck changes. Your particular suck that would have me thinking suicide was the nights and weekends suck. I don't do that well. My only truly good job was a volunteer thing with the Army in Iraq, where we DID do the nights and weekends thing but I knew that going in and there wasn't anything else to do anyway. I'm retired and loving it, and your major thrust in life should be saving large amounts of $$$$ to buy an annuity with that can never ever be exhausted, and retire as early and possible. Right now, I'm contemplating renewing an old hobby since another one seems to be ending, and that is ham radio. Did the November SSB Sweepstakes last weekend, and could become a contester, dunno. But retirement is where its at, the sooner the better and the more inexhaustible supplies of money the better. I've an actual pension that's not going away (I worked for the Navy (not _in_ the Navy, but a civilian engineer)) an annuity from a large insurance company, and a little SS. The next antenna (its like boating - you always need a bigger boat... or antenna) is $7K, top of the line, on a telescoping fold-over tower that is $17K. If my other expensive hobby, road rallying, dies as expected, the savings from that will likely actually allow me to achieve that antenna / tower combination. But find something you can endure and then get the H out of it and retired at the earliest possibility.
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Been there, done that. $635 for 5 minute visit by cardiac specialist was straw that broke the camel's back. I quit the scene 30 years ago and slipped into the consulting stream making sure supplier and client are talking to each other. Granted, finding $30M projects is a little more difficult these days.
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"Good. Quick. Cheap. Pick any two."
That is woven into the very fabric of reality. If we ever get a Theory of Everything, it will predict that.
Another fundamental feature of the universe is that "management is constitutionally incapable of accepting the last three words." (The ToE will predict that also.)
And finally, the last law of the universe is, "programmers are spineless enablers who cannot say 'no,' no matter how insane the situation. They just say yes until they leave, are fired, end up in the psych-ward, or die."
Now if you'll excuse me, Nurse Ratched is here with my meds.....
Cheers,
Mike Fidler
"I intend to live forever - so far, so good." Steven Wright
"I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met." Also Steven Wright
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Just got an email from SourceForge talking about Firesheep Wi-Fi attach. 
Sorry I will get my coat. 
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Corporal Agarn wrote: Firesheep
That makes me think of the Goodies, not Griff.
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Sheepie, sheepie, yum yummmm.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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what's the deal with the sheeps? 
M.D.V.
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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Nelek wrote: what's the deal with the sheeps?
Four Fuuccks Sake, sheep is singular and plural, there is no such thing as sheeps. It's not that hard.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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Ewe, don't be a wooly bully. He is not a mutton for punishment just because he phrased it incorrectly. I am not being a bleating heart, just don't want to see you herd him. 
Don't bother, I already got my coat on
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Well... considering that I am not native english speaker...
Shall we try on german or spanish and see how many errors do you have?
I like being corrected and I am thankful for it, but man... you have to take it easy. It is not that I killed someone.
M.D.V.
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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Nelek wrote: I like being corrected and I am thankful for it, but man... you have to take it easy. It is not that I killed someone.
You've been around for a few years at least, surely you've noticed my patience or lack there of.
Nelek wrote: Shall we try on german or spanish and see how many errors do you have?
I just get the Mother In-Law for that, fluent to read, write and speak in 6 languages.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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I heard he's not been able to sleep so he's been
counting sheep.
New version: WinHeist Version 2.1.0
There's a fine line between crazy and free spirited and it's usually a prescription.
I'm currently unsupervised, I know it freaks me out too but the possibilities are endless.
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