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Nagy Vilmos wrote: Doofus T Brain-Cell
I used to work for that guy... I see they're still looking to replace me. 
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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You worked for someone with the name Doofus?
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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I didn't say that was his name... who hasn't at one time or another worked for or with a Doofus? 
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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Those who claim not to probably were the Doofus themselves. 
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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Well, COBOL is in a sense technology, and some smelly brown things are known to emerge from the water...
Geek code v 3.12
GCS d--- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L- E-- W++ N++ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5? X R++ tv-- b+ DI+++ D++ G e++>+++ h--- r++>+++ y+++*
Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
I use 1TBS
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It's emerging like dead bodies from a glacier in the spring time... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Check this: COBOL on COGS[^]
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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I like the "DATE OVERFLOW" in the bottom left corner. Very professional... Probably a Y2K bug?!?!? 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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It just means the COBOL is well past it's "Best Before" date!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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IIRC, that flew past in 1981.
veni bibi saltavi
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It's in it's "undead" phase: which probably means it's about to be fashionable with impressionable idiots again...there is still a .NET version of the damn thing!
(Which to be honest doesn't surprise me too much, give the massive base of business centred code which was written in it)
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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COBOL ain't dead - it's only sleeping...
Last month connected us an old (and forgotten) customer and asked about adding new features to the application...He still uses the COBOL version, that we stopped supporting in 1997!
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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We've been asked to add functionalities in one of our oldest machines... its software is in QBasic.
Geek code v 3.12
GCS d--- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L- E-- W++ N++ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5? X R++ tv-- b+ DI+++ D++ G e++>+++ h--- r++>+++ y+++*
Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
I use 1TBS
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An emerging Y2K bug.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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(c) <DATE OVERFLOW>
likes!
veni bibi saltavi
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Screw the emerging tech, I always wanted to see Ireland.
I have a well respected COBOL diploma somewhere at the back of my cupboard.
No object is so beautiful that, under certain conditions, it will not look ugly. - Oscar Wilde
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I haven't, but I can show them my collection of Guinness bottle caps. Do you think that will be enough? 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-----
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Actually they are probably worth more
You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start
Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
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LOL - The recyclable bottles sure as heck were... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
-----
The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-----
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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you just did
#SupportHeForShe If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.-John Q. Adams
You must accept 1 of 2 basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not alone. Either way, the implications are staggering!-Wernher von Braun
Only 2 things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.-Albert Einstein
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COBOL is still a developing language. The latest standard was published in 20022014:
ISO/IEC 1989:2014, Information technology -- Programming languages -- COBOL
There is even a "Visual COBOL" (not published by MS) that produces .NET code:
http://www.microfocus.com/products/micro-focus-developer/visual_cobol/[^](*)
* I am not in any way connected to the writers / sellers of this product
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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It just works.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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A friend got one of those robo calls saying it was from Microsoft and their computer was putting out error messages.
She then called me worried and confused. The problem is she does not own a computer.
I explained that it was not Microsoft and the calls have been going on for a couple of years now.
Mongo: Mongo only pawn... in game of life.
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Corporal Agarn wrote: I explained that it was not Microsoft and the calls have been going on for a couple of years now.
You should have told her that it was a new feature of Windows 10, which allows a computer to know who it is going to go home with (i.e. its intelligence level has been raised to that of cats), and that the problem has been spotted while the machine that she is going to buy is still in the design phase.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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