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I enjoyed RogelloP's current post on this topic, but, on reflection, I found such a variance between the person-types listed in his post and my actual experience working in various software companies, including a start-up, that I feel compelled to publish my own list:*
1. schizophrenic creative visionary who typically communicates in grunts
2. best college friend of #1 who never held a job for longer than two months before this one, and is into S&M
3. ex-felon convicted of securities fraud, and tax evasion
4. manic-depressive hyper-verbal former philosophy master's degree holder
5. former assembly language programmer only familiar with printer-drivers for long-discontinued ink-jet printers
6. alcoholic former zookeeper fired for willful negligence of the animals in their care
7. programmer from India, or China, or Taiwan
8. vegetarian meditator recently convicted of spiking trees
9. drag-strip racer, gun hobbyist, military memorabilia collector, amphetamine user
10. anal-retentive compulsive-obsessive high-Asperger savant
Relation of these persons to their job titles:**
1. only one person can have the following titles: CEO/President, CTO/Chief Scientist, CFO/Accountant
2. more than one person can have the following titles: programmer, marketer, public relations (aka 'booth bunny,' or 'booth stud'), janitorial, massage therapist, psychiatrist, janitorial, network/site admin, unpaid intern
* Note: Any resemblance of the persons described here to certain well-known CP members is purely serendipitous, although, given quantum electrodynamics, one cannot rule out extra-sensory influence, or the possibility of hive-mind thought-control.
** Note: This is not to imply there is some causal relationship between background, experience, and capability, of these persons, and the job title they may hold.
“I have diligently numbered the days of pure and genuine happiness which have fallen to my lot: They amount to 14.” Abd-Ar Rahman III, Caliph of Cordoba, circa 950CE.
modified 22-Jul-14 18:28pm.
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I guess I would fit into the #10 category?, but with Alzheimer's thrown in.
As I grow older I've found that pleasing everyone is impossible but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
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There are not enough upvotes for that one.
I too dabbled in pacifism once.
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All I see is a list of foreign names. 
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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Not an indicator of anything.
You'll never get very far if all you do is follow instructions.
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The "next" button fails on IE.. 
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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Eddy Vluggen wrote: The "next" button fails on IE
I've made the switch to Opera (from Chrome) and it works quite well.
IE ho ho ho, ha ha ha. You are so funny... hee hee hee 
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newton.saber wrote: IE ho ho ho, ha ha ha. You are so funny... hee hee hee
My lynx browser won't work well, due to there being pictures. SeaMonkey is set to only load pictures from the local server.
..really, do I need a fourth browser? Whatsup with all them standards you webpeople been braggin' about? I don't need four Windows-versions to run a winform-app, do I?
Bastard Programmer from Hell
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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A touch subjective.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair.
Those who seek perfection will only find imperfection
nils illegitimus carborundum
me, me, me
me, in pictures
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mark merrens wrote: A touch subjective.
I agree.
I thought the really funny one was the first one Jon Skeet, because he is like the Chuck Norris of Software Development
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I'm not sure I'd want to be on the list. Can you imagine all the whiney requests from friends, family, coworkers, acquaitances, pan handlers,...., to 'fix' their computers?
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
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I want to be the James Hunt of programmers. 
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newton.saber wrote: when I create the next OS which runs on all hardware
I'll gladly test it on my VAX and Alpha systems.
However, you're better off trying to create a new language and cross-platform compiler/IDE.
You'll never get very far if all you do is follow instructions.
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I'll send it over. It's been ready to run on those systems for years.
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You'll have to send it on quarter-inch tape.
You'll never get very far if all you do is follow instructions.
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He turned your OS into a Newt?
It got better..... 
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The Best Programmers list is very strange. There are some really bests from elder good time, some kids, some managers and no one from OO revolution.
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I agree. It's missing a lot of people. And you are exactly right on missing people from the OO revolution.
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OK list not great. Missing Brendan Eich and Grady Booch.
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When I drop over from SQL to C# I usually type something like this:
if (_applied <> 0)
{
}
I am usually capable of keeping the swearing under my breath.
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I do that all the time... Back in the early 00's when I was maintaining old VB6 systems, that worked 
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So, use != in SQL as well - I do!
The only DB I know of that doesn't accept it is Access 2010 - and I try to avoid using that as much as possible anyway!
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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I usually do the following in SQL:
IF @SomeBoolVar
BEGIN
END The worst part is I usually can't find why it won't run because this stuff is so obvious 
It's an OO world.
public class SanderRossel : Lazy<Person>
{
public void DoWork()
{
throw new NotSupportedException();
}
}
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