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Well the first parts of your answer are awesome, but apperantly that was the time i sh*t my Pants or wasn't even Born 
My early pc-gaming days started 2000 (Computer with Internet)
But what i actually wanted to reply to is your problematic with steam, all the time it updates you say? Well, everybody can have his opinion about it, but i never ever had Problems with that. Neither does it update all the time nor does it kill my Internet Connection.
Maybe i am just a lucky guy and steam likes me and does what i want, but as others already replied try playing it without steam, cause as it is not a valve game it might work.
Steamapps/Common/ there you might find the duke and an .exe to start without steam
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THIS!
"I can get my games wherever I log in, but I have to actually DOWNLOAD THEM!?! DWEEBRAGE!!"
And why even be angry at the developer who actually does updates and patches to a released product? Sounds to me like a full bore homer simpson "45 seconds, but I want it NOW!"
op.insert(bigboypants);
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Sounds like you were getting steams version of Duke. The last update for Duke had to be 15 years ago or longer. I have found some steam games don't require steam. You just need to play with it and see. I do know that Duke uses Dosbox under Steam so you might be able to cut the umbilical.
Jack of all trades, master of none, though often times better than master of one.
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Dude? Am i wrong now or is it you? Duke Nukem Forever is the latest one that was released at 2012/13? dunno exactly
Edit: was 2011 just wikipediad it
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Guess it was 2011, but you are still closer.
Source[^]
Clean-up crew needed, grammar spill... - Nagy Vilmos
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I stand corrected. HUH who'd a thunk it. 
Jack of all trades, master of none, though often times better than master of one.
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My dad has the original Duke Nukem 3D disc somewhere. He also has the Atomic Edition disc. They were purchased many years ago at Wal-Mart, and they still work. In fact, I just installed one on my PC the other day and used DOSBox to play it. He also has the original Wolf3D 3.5" floppy, I believe. And the original Doom + Doom 2. And Quake, Quake II and Quake III: Arena. 
djj55: Nice but may have a permission problem
Pete O'Hanlon: He has my permission to run it.
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Wolfenstein 3D! I spent some time with that...did you (or your father) ever get to the "Aardwolf" room? I never did get round to calling that phone number!
Doom was an expensive game for me to play: I had to upgrade my PC to play Doom2, and then buy a second, identical spec machine for Herself so she would stop complaining that I only beat her in Deathmatch because my computer was better. Then of course she lost that excuse, and stopped playing Deathmatch at all... 
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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I don't know that we ever got to that room. My father may have, as he spent far more time on it than I did. I was really young then. And my dad has always had PC's closer to high-end, so running the games was never an issue. Until he got a little older and stopped playing. Then he didn't seem to care much that I wanted to play newer games. Haha.
But he's expressing interesting in it again lately. But he's no longer able to work, so he spends the majority of his time at home. I suppose he just wants a way to pass the time. I told him I'll install DOSBox for him so he can fire them back up. It'll be his first time in probably 15 years. 
djj55: Nice but may have a permission problem
Pete O'Hanlon: He has my permission to run it.
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It was a maze of "secret walls" that if you didn't push the wrong one at any time (because it blocked others) you could get through and find this: http://www.vgfacts.com/attachments/full/2/3468.jpg[^] - Only I seem to remember a telephone number in the US to call instead of "Apogee".
A quick google say it was Episode 2 Floor 8, and the maze looked like this: http://img248.imageshack.us/img248/3781/wolf3de2l8mazemapyi0.png[^]
I found it by accident, and died very quickly as the final room with the sign also held a serious bad guy!
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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Pretty sure you can play if you pause the update, but it's been a while since I've had an update while I was playing as I tend to leave steam running most of the time.
It's generally rather nice to have a list of games which were updated and already patched for you, but yeah, patching immediately after install is annoying.
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My gripe with it is that for a single steam installation, it installs it for every single user, and auto-starts on windows startup for any user, under your account. No idea how they could get something like this wrong.
Of course, you can switch off auto-start, but apparently you have to do it for every individual windows user's account. 
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Downloading sucks sometimes, I will agree with that.
I bought MW Ghosts the day it came out, only for it to require 8 hours to install...
However, I've quite enjoyed Steam.
Last summer I was able to get Id/Bethesda's entire history of games at a deep discount for 90 bucks (all dooms, quakes, rage, skyrim, fallout 3, dishonored, etc)
I buy a game, I can download it on my PC, then on my tablet and play on whichever I decide painlessly (after the download).
I'll hate on anything EA before steam.
Recently I've been buying and playing Indie games for between 2-10 dollars. Games that I would not have otherwise found.
I can live with that compared to I can no longer install my EA Mirror's Edge because I have updated my computer three times since I have bought it, and it says you have exceeded the limit for installs. Then the whole fiasco with the new Sim City that I skipped altogether.
To know and not do, is not yet to know
http://www.codeofthedamned.com
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It seams you need to release the 'steam' - maybe try answer less QA...
I'm not questioning your powers of observation; I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is. (V)
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If 3/4 of your gin & tonic is tonic, make sure you use the best
3 parts tonic to one part gin? That'd be like drinking neat tonic water! Doubles all round and AT MOST 50:50, should be more gin than tonic.
speramus in juniperus
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What on earth were you looking for when you found that page? 
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we all know yours are 10 to 1
(that's 10 gin to one tonic)
You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start
Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
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No, he likes his G&T's "dry", like a dry Martini - pour the G, then wave the bottle of T around in the same room. Don't remove the cap, it might splash.
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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I must say in Fever Tree's defence it is terribly good tonic and I do like a splash in my gin. It is terribly important not to drown out the juniper.
speramus in juniperus
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Nagy Vilmos wrote: I do like a splash in my gin
sounds like you bath in the stuff
oh wait a minute its Nagy - he probably does
You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start
Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
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Ahhh, you have the recipe as my Nana Mary
If your neighbours don't listen to The Ramones, turn it up real loud so they can.
“We didn't have a positive song until we wrote 'Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue!'” ― Dee Dee Ramone
"The Democrats want my guns and the Republicans want my porno mags and I ain't giving up either" - Joey Ramone
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Fever Tree do make good tonic, the recipe is sound when using regular industrial gin.
If you use better gin (artisan/independent distillers gin), then you can increase the ratio to 1/3 gin to 2/3 tonic (or more).
I'd rather be phishing!
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Pure is the only true way of drinking 
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2 Parts Gin (At the very least it has to be Bombay Sapphire), to one part Tonic.
NEVER put a slice of lemon in, it mops up the alcohol.
A Twist is acceptable, and no more than one lump of ice.
The Gin should be refrigerated prior to pouring.
Serve with at least three more of the same and never less than a double.
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur .
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