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Colleague: It failed; why does it say it succeeded?
Me: It successfully reported that it failed.
This space intentionally left blank.
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Sounds like ERROR_SUCCESS.
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Collin Jasnoch wrote: It seems MS is quite successful in failing.
Veni, vidi, vici.
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You have logically proved that we don't need Windows updates.
Peter Wasser
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts." - Bertrand Russell
modified 27-Feb-14 19:29pm.
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You really don't have a grasp of logical reasoning. 
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You're still here. Welcome back.
Peter Wasser
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts." - Bertrand Russell
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As any cyclist will tell you; n+1
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I hate that my Weven computer wants to constantly restart to do updates... somehow I end up having to restart it like five times in a row before it's done updating at any one time. 
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It's always just one for me. I guess it must be your red hair. 
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.-John Q. Adams
You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering.-Wernher von Braun
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.-Albert Einstein
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Save the personal attacks for the soapbox. 
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.-John Q. Adams
You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering.-Wernher von Braun
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.-Albert Einstein
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Collin Jasnoch wrote: policy issues
I bet it's due to third-party software. I work for a company that provides configuration management software for Windows systems part of which is patch management and policy enforcement. Oftentimes that is what is causing the rebooting issues, not Windows directly. Sometimes when the software updates itself, it needs to reboot two or three times, especially when drivers are updated. I've worked to reduce it to 0 or 1 times.
Collin Jasnoch wrote: Windows has updates...Widows needs to restart
ad nauseum
Sometimes when updating a "legacy" OS like WinXP where there are hundreds of updates, some of which are mutually exclusive (meaning they can't be combined with other updates in the same "update session"), what you describe can occur. What your IT dept needs to provide is a windows image with all of these updates already done. "Sysprep[^]" can be your friend.
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.-John Q. Adams
You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering.-Wernher von Braun
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.-Albert Einstein
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That's why I am my own IT dept. I don't even join the domain.
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.-John Q. Adams
You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering.-Wernher von Braun
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.-Albert Einstein
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I feel your pain. 
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.-John Q. Adams
You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering.-Wernher von Braun
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.-Albert Einstein
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I particularly hate the updates that always seem to arrive when I need to shut down in a hurry. These usually add 40 minutes or so to the shutdown time.
I may not last forever but the mess I leave behind certainly will.
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Part of it could be the Windows file system is stuck in the 1980's and can't replace files that are currently open. Every time one needs to be updated, it has to copy it to a side location, poke the registry to have the OS replace the file as it boots, then have you reboot. I don't know what happens if you have two updates that want to replace the same locked file 
We can program with only 1's, but if all you've got are zeros, you've got nothing.
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patbob wrote: I don't know what happens if you have two updates that want to replace the same locked file
The latest version wins. Sometimes updates are mutually exclusive and must be done by themselves, one at a time.
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.-John Q. Adams
You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering.-Wernher von Braun
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.-Albert Einstein
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Well, this is the most impossible and answer-less question 
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I bet MS would say something like "Just enough".
I always reasoned it depends if more updates are dependent on the to-be-installed updates... I've had to reboot 3 times so far. The worst is when one update fails in the middle due to being dependent on one further down the list, so it removes the rest as well.
You may now resume working for up to 4 hours (unless you use Process Explorer to suspend wuauclt.exe )
And "Bing Desktop"? Who needs that? That's about as useful as Chrome's new 'new tab' page. 
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Collin Jasnoch wrote: Windows will never work properly.
Equates to job security... most of the time it does
-- RP
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