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6. I will not gloat over my enemies’ predicament before killing them.

Virigar: You know, this list is starting to take the fun out of being an Evil Overlord. It’s at least half the POINT of finally catching your enemy to take that shining moment to gloat — and of course give him the chance to put that last, desperate plan into action.

Dark Wanderer: Oh, far from it; I am all too aware of the existence of Good as a tangible force. In any case, whether I gloat would depend on how amusing it would be for ME. I rather agree with Virigar. There’s an element of style here.

Endgame: Virigar, Wanderer, you are entirely correct. It is not sufficient to merely win. One has to win properly. Your enemies must be forced to recognized to realize their failure, to appreciate and despair at your own genius! They must be broken! They must kneel! And only then do you grant them the death they so richly deserve!

Thornfalcon: I certainly applaud the spirit, if not the details, not being quite as… what was the term I heard once… Nhilistic, that is it… as you. The dramatic speech, the chance to reveal your plan, the desperate attempts to escape – and, yes, even that risk that you’re perhaps not quite as good as you thought – this is part of the fun of it all.

Dark Wanderer: Ahh, yes, that’s what I was trying to think of! All this talk of being so practical that you stop being a grand-scale villain is just plain “Bad Form”. From the movie “Hook”.

25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.

Virigar (dryly): Oh, you’d prefer it be completely indestructible except for many large and easily targeted spots?

Master Wieran: I think they refer to devices as are found in poorly-thought-out tales which provide some critical weakness to an otherwise invincible foe.

Maria-Susanna: Say, like silver bullets for a werewolf?

Virigar: Your soul looks absolutely delicious, you know.

29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.

Virigar: Does rather make it difficult to maintain the “Dark Lord” title, though.

Dark Wanderer: Yes, and “the Pink Lord of Shininess” doesn’t quite have the same impact.

50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.

Virigar: Yet another one far too specific to be applicable.

Dark Wanderer: You’re right, big V, too specific, and not even accurate. Let’s try this reformulation which is much closer to the ACTUAL problem and one more generally applicable: “I will make sure that all equipment superior to that of my enemies is carefully accounted for. In the event that some falls into the enemy’s hands, I will either (A) retrieve it, (B) destroy it, or, if both of the latter are impossible, (C) modify my plans to assume that they will be able to understand and incorporate that technology into their own plans. I WILL NOT PERMIT A SHIP WHICH HAS BEEN IN ENEMY HANDS FOR 40 YEARS TO DOCK WITH MY MOTHERSHIP!”

90. After I captures the hero’s superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.

Virigar: Indeed. We are all agreed on this?

Dark Wanderer: (after a glance around the table) Yep. Unless the reason is that you WILL use the superweapon, and HE wouldn’t.

Thornfalcon: Even so, why would I disband my Legions? Unless I feel like using my unstoppable superweapon to solve minor disputes in administration, I’ll have a great use for an extensive force of persons to police my realm.

94. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.

Virigar: Double execution? Double the executioners, then. Kill them both at the same time.

Master Wieran: I do not DO such wasteful demonstrations. I will disassemble them for use in the organ vats.

Maria-Susanna: EEEeeeeew!

Dark Wanderer: Hmm, wouldn’t have thought you so squeamish. I agree with Big V; kill both at once.

Thornfalcon: Ahhh, now, the problem is *spectacle*. Public executions are entertainment, and you’re now insisting on cutting it in half.

Endgame: And they’re also dramatic emphasis of your will and power. Cut that in half, cut the effect in half.

Amanita: Ohhh, I love a good execution! Don’t waste them!