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Have you ever felt that new-age Customer Service is all smoke and no substance? All nice things that we read/write/teach in big-fat CRM books comes down to a big ZERO when you ever deal with companies as potential customer.... Super efficient software systems are being manned by completely clueless fellas who can't remove dead fly from a coffee cup? Does it ever feel that instead of serving your needs, companies are busy-at-work figuring how to make you serve their needs first?
Recently, one of my old client told me that he wants my help to buy new All-in-one thingie that Lenovo has introduced. Normally, I stay away from hardware purchase but this client is good (always pays-on-time... etc etc ...), so I jotted down his min specs and did some online shopping for him. Went to lenovo website and sure enough by end-of-day, their drones were onto me and I received email flyer with discount coupon codes and with a handy flashy 1-800 number. Email was embedded HTML and its layout looked exactly like the A4 size flyers one usually sees in one's mailboxes every single day; KMart or Walmart variety with photos, prices and all encompassing "Sale" and "Call Now" word
Noticed that while website had all flashy things to purchase a comp there was no provision to use coupon code and more importantly, the OS was only mentioned as Windows 8, so I decided to give a call on 800..
This is how the call went
Me: Hi, you've got so&so i3 machine on ur site. Site says its got Windows 8 but does not tell whether its regular or professional.
CS: Hmmm .... lemme check.... machine config is (reads out the screen that I already see and then goes for a pre-canned properly heated sales pitch): "It comes preloaded with Windows 8, so you just open the box, plug the machine and start working ...."
Me: Geee... thanks... but what OS is it. Professional ?
CS: Neither! Its Windows 8.
Me: Yeah, but thats got to be either Professional or otherwise.
CS: This just says Windows 8. Hey!!! wait. It also says 64 bit.
Me: Professional or regular?
CS: Windows 8 64 bit preinstalled and ready to use.
Me: Professional?
CS: Look!, I can give you number of Business partner in your city who can help you out with professional needs.
Me: So, you work for IBM and you want me to call outsider to buy IBM product?
CS: No, I don't work for IBM. I work for Lenovo.
Me: Ohhh Ok.... Why would I call someone else when you ppl are manufacturers?
CS: We do not manufacture it ....
Me: Huh?
CS: We just sell it....
Me: Oh gee thanks... Can I talk to your supervisor?
CS: Sure.... but he can't do much either...
Me: You just transfer....
...
SCS: Hello, this is blah-blah, Supervisor of the Lenovo (goes into another self-introductory obligatory speech with disclaimer at end)
Conversation with him was little bit better as he understood the word professional and confirmed that none of the on-site machines
were with Win8 Professional.
SCS: Yes, I can see that there is no mention of professional on site or on readouts, but it must be there. why would they put anything else?
Me: Great. But nevertheless, I want to confirm it orally and in writing before I part with the money.
SCS: Certainly, in that case, may I know your city, so I can get one of our business partners to call you up and deal with this?
I give up and gave my contact and hung up. It was more than 24 hours ago. No call from any business partner but I did receive one call asking me about feedback on how my conversation went!!!
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Imagine how well the technical support calls would go if the sales calls are this good.
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What always gets me is that the cost of producing and maintaining professional-quality, useful documentation is a tiny fraction of what it costs to have people who are unable to answer questions that three minutes with a good document will answer.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Greetings, your Excellence,
Like everyone else I've been through Kafkaesque conversations with front-line tech support, and information/sales, organizations.
While there may be no excuse for a company driving away potential customers, or convincing current customers to never buy their products again, when it comes to the reality of the working lives of the people who are employed in front-line support: it's most often a shyte job with low-pay, quota demands, and no potential for future advancement.
imho, why it's like that is simple: economic$, and ... greed. As a jaded realist, I spend very little time thinking about that.
bill
Google CEO, Erich Schmidt: "I keep asking for a product called Serendipity. This product would have access to everything ever written or recorded, know everything the user ever worked on and saved to his or her personal hard drive, and know a whole lot about the user's tastes, friends and predilections." 2004, USA Today interview
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Thanks to This request[^] it seems he has reached his aim, and been deleted again.
So: any bets on what name he will come back up with this time? I guessing "PB Trolling Ltd" won't be it... 
The only instant messaging I do involves my middle finger.
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"When you don't know what you're doing it's best to do it quickly"- SoMad
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Troll Bucket?
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur .
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In royal blue, not red.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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PB Resurgens.
Unlike Portsmouth FC obviously.
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Keith Barrow wrote: PB Resurgens of Lunch.
Un Just like Portsmouth FC obviously.
There are always at least two ways of looking at a problem.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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This seems weird. Why someone do that ! 
I remember just seeing genuine post from this member some time back about Intel chip.
I am sure I am not aware of some story behind this Phoenix fellow. Can someone enlighten me ?
Thanks,
Milind
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MT_ wrote: Why someone do that !
He does it every time his wife figures out what his user ID is.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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He works for wrong type of people. So every-time his identity compromises, he goes for witness protection program. 
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Hmm...so asking openly to us to help protect his identity. That's makes us what? accomplice ! 
Thanks,
Milind
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CHIASMUS
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur .
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Fooled by the master!
Got stuck on "check one" being "cl" and even though I couldn't completely resolve the rest of the clue, I couldn't get past "claptrap" being the answer ('trap' is 'part' reversed after all 
Humbled 
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Chess notation.
I presume you see it now?
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur .
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Oh yes, the light bulb has exploded above my head and I am right now picking all the bits of glass from my hair!
My ego has been dented and I shall retreat to my cave with a bottle of Chardonnay to lick my wounds. 
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Doh, I was on the right lines but faded 
We can’t stop here, this is bat country - Hunter S Thompson RIP
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After reading MM's post in September about his Oktoberfest outing I must admit feeling a little jealous.
I just googled Octoberfest in my area of the world to see what was happening here.
Apparently we seem to be way behind as Oktoberfest here is celebrated in November.
http://www.harmonieclub.com.au/oktoberfest.html[^]
Still.... reckon we can celebrate Octoberfest anytime.
Never been to one but may do this November.
"Rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read." Frank Zappa 1980
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Oktoberfest is a specific event in a specific part of Germany.
If you want your own massive piss-up then hold your own, but come up with a your own name.
Anyone holding 'Oktoberfest' anywhere else in the world is basically just lacking in imagination.
“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks
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ChrisElston wrote: Anyone holding 'Oktoberfest' anywhere else in the world is basically just lacking in imagination
Now, I hesitate to stereotype Australians, but...
The only instant messaging I do involves my middle finger.
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Says the man with the mint fixation
speramus in juniperus
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Lanolin, please! Mint scares the little darlin's!
The only instant messaging I do involves my middle finger.
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Do Not Hesitate..
"Rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read." Frank Zappa 1980
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